Does all hell break out for you at night?

I am curious about the enornous difference between my days and nights at this point. I started my taper over two years ago and it was a rapid taper. And I am completely off for 2 months except for some small amounts of remeron to help me sleep occasionally.

 

I am at this point where my days are not as bad as they were when I first started the taper --there are some days that are bad BUT when the night comes everything is just a absolute nightmare.

 

I still have severe insomnia but the odd thing is that in the evening I will start yawning and actually get sleepy ( i finally yawn again after 1 1/2 years of not yawning) but once I go to bed everything starts like horrible insomnia, fear, panic attacks, numbness and other things. Last night was especially hard, I didnt think i was goign to get thru it. The odd thing is that yesterday evening I felt really good --better than i had in a long time.

 

Is this happening for anyone else? Are you daytime symptoms getting better but your nights seem to be getting worse?

 

Thanks

 

I had a rough night last night, pain, number hands kept waking me up. I do sleep, but it's toxic and wake up dizzy. Really don't like it. My days have been getting better though as you say, have actually been quite productive and agreed to go back to work 50% next week after 6 months off. Hoping that last night was a big wave of improvement if you know what I mean.

 

It does make sense that things spiral at night, your body is hardwired to relax and do it's healing at night. The benzos monster is let loose!

It may be your remeron. Remeron caused me nightmares, but thats just my experience. However it is common for meds to not function normally in benzo withdrawal. Like theres an antiviral and an antihistamine I used to take no problem for years that I can no longer tolerate. Other members have experienced similar things.

So just something to consider.

Another to consider is that your "better time of day" can switch in benzo wd. Just realize sadly that more often than not, nothing is predictable in this.

 

Hope this helps:)

I am curious about the enornous difference between my days and nights at this point. I started my taper over two years ago and it was a rapid taper. And I am completely off for 2 months except for some small amounts of remeron to help me sleep occasionally.

 

I am at this point where my days are not as bad as they were when I first started the taper --there are some days that are bad BUT when the night comes everything is just a absolute nightmare.

 

I still have severe insomnia but the odd thing is that in the evening I will start yawning and actually get sleepy ( i finally yawn again after 1 1/2 years of not yawning) but once I go to bed everything starts like horrible insomnia, fear, panic attacks, numbness and other things. Last night was especially hard, I didnt think i was goign to get thru it. The odd thing is that yesterday evening I felt really good --better than i had in a long time.

 

Is this happening for anyone else? Are you daytime symptoms getting better but your nights seem to be getting worse?

 

Thanks

 

Hi Ocean,

You are the first person I have met here who had some time NOT yawning. I didnt either, for a full year. The frist time after that I yawned, it felt SO good and I knew this was a sign I was healing from the benzos.

Your toxic zombie sleep is also very normal. I did not sleep a wink for over a year. I just lay there and tried not to panic. Eventually I boought a simple tablet and read E books at night. But one night I started listening to "relaxation music." That didnt help much so I looked up "sleep hypnosis videos on YouTube." What I found with that search turned out to be amazing. I started listening to them every night. It took about a month for the "subliminal hypnotic words" to affect me. But when they did, I was able to sleep better. NOT a full 8 hours, but enough so I didnt feel like an utter benzo zombie. This affected me so much that to this day, nearly nine years later, certain phrases WILL make me feel more relaxed. Every YouTube sleep hypnosis person has certain "cue" words, which they repeat, softly, over and over. My favorite person on YouTube said "right now" perhaps 15 times per video. This stuuff does work and I am living proof. If I need to relax more now, I say to myself "Right now",. take a few deep breaths, and I feel calmer and collected right away.

Annie (east)

I had a rough night last night, pain, number hands kept waking me up. I do sleep, but it's toxic and wake up dizzy. Really don't like it. My days have been getting better though as you say, have actually been quite productive and agreed to go back to work 50% next week after 6 months off. Hoping that last night was a big wave of improvement if you know what I mean.

 

It does make sense that things spiral at night, your body is hardwired to relax and do it's healing at night. The benzos monster is let loose!

 

Thanks for replying. You might be right about the body relaxing and healing at night. I hope that this is something that will pass 'cause last night was the roughest night I have had in the two years that I have been tapering.

 

I hope you heal soon

It may be your remeron. Remeron caused me nightmares, but thats just my experience. However it is common for meds to not function normally in benzo withdrawal. Like theres an antiviral and an antihistamine I used to take no problem for years that I can no longer tolerate. Other members have experienced similar things.

So just something to consider.

Another to consider is that your "better time of day" can switch in benzo wd. Just realize sadly that more often than not, nothing is predictable in this.

 

Hope this helps:)

 

I thought about it being the remeron. When I take remeron its usually every other night if I am having those zero sleep nights and the amount I take is really really small. I take maybe an 1/8th or 1/10th of a pill and that small amount helps. But this last spell of insomnia has gone on for sometime. Maybe the remeron affected my healing from the original taper. Who knows.

 

Thanks for replying.

 

 

YES, yawning after being tired/wired and not yawning.

 

So sorry about your hard nights, so glad people have successes to share. Brand new here but sleep is my boogie man and am making peace with less of it right now. Calming myself using thoughts and a bedtime routine. As I just said somewhere else:  I made a commitment to the med. so now I'll make that same DAILY commitment to me.

 

Wishing you peaceful rest and sleep. Real true sleep. Right now. Letting go.

I am curious about the enornous difference between my days and nights at this point. I started my taper over two years ago and it was a rapid taper. And I am completely off for 2 months except for some small amounts of remeron to help me sleep occasionally.

 

I am at this point where my days are not as bad as they were when I first started the taper --there are some days that are bad BUT when the night comes everything is just a absolute nightmare.

 

I still have severe insomnia but the odd thing is that in the evening I will start yawning and actually get sleepy ( i finally yawn again after 1 1/2 years of not yawning) but once I go to bed everything starts like horrible insomnia, fear, panic attacks, numbness and other things. Last night was especially hard, I didnt think i was goign to get thru it. The odd thing is that yesterday evening I felt really good --better than i had in a long time.

 

Is this happening for anyone else? Are you daytime symptoms getting better but your nights seem to be getting worse?

 

Thanks

 

Hi Ocean,

You are the first person I have met here who had some time NOT yawning. I didnt either, for a full year. The frist time after that I yawned, it felt SO good and I knew this was a sign I was healing from the benzos.

Your toxic zombie sleep is also very normal. I did not sleep a wink for over a year. I just lay there and tried not to panic. Eventually I boought a simple tablet and read E books at night. But one night I started listening to "relaxation music." That didnt help much so I looked up "sleep hypnosis videos on YouTube." What I found with that search turned out to be amazing. I started listening to them every night. It took about a month for the "subliminal hypnotic words" to affect me. But when they did, I was able to sleep better. NOT a full 8 hours, but enough so I didnt feel like an utter benzo zombie. This affected me so much that to this day, nearly nine years later, certain phrases WILL make me feel more relaxed. Every YouTube sleep hypnosis person has certain "cue" words, which they repeat, softly, over and over. My favorite person on YouTube said "right now" perhaps 15 times per video. This stuuff does work and I am living proof. If I need to relax more now, I say to myself "Right now",. take a few deep breaths, and I feel calmer and collected right away.

Annie (east)

 

Thanks for replying.

 

I know what you mean about feeling good after the first time of yawning for so long. My wife will see me yawn and say "Thats good that you are yawning, see you are healing" :] 

 

I am glad that you healed. The relaxation music is something that I am going to try tonight. I had been listening to ASMR for a while but its just not working at all right now so ill listen to the "relaxation music".

 

Thats pretty cool that those words now relax you when you hear them now -- I guess the body associates those words with relaxation. I hope that starts working for me. Thanks a lot for the advice. Lets hope it helps me like it helped you :]

 

Have a good night.

 

 

YES, yawning after being tired/wired and not yawning.

 

So sorry about your hard nights, so glad people have successes to share. Brand new here but sleep is my boogie man and am making peace with less of it right now. Calming myself using thoughts and a bedtime routine. As I just said somewhere else:  I made a commitment to the med. so now I'll make that same DAILY commitment to me.

 

Wishing you peaceful rest and sleep. Real true sleep. Right now. Letting go.

 

I appreciate your words.

 

Thats a good attitude you have about making a daily commitment yourself. I try to do that as well. I am eating good and exercising regularly. The night time symptoms are the worse right now hopefully it will pass soon.

 

And I really glad that people share their successes as well. The place is great for those who feel they are going at this all alone. Its good to have people who understand how bad this is.

 

I hope you that you heal soon as well. Have a good evening :]

...and thanks for yours. I hope the struggle passes soon. The support is good.

I just saw this and saw the replies about yawning. I hardly ever yawn even tho I sleep under 3 hrs when I do sleep. Sometimes I yawn but it’s small and does nothing to relieve the tiredness. Occasionally I do a bit proper yawn and I get excited because it hardly has happened in 2 years. Even early on my hubby would tell drs “she’s not yawning, she’s not sleeping and not even yawning” the steps replied with, he body has adapted to not sleeping. Shame my brain hasn’t !

I am curious about the enornous difference between my days and nights at this point. I started my taper over two years ago and it was a rapid taper. And I am completely off for 2 months except for some small amounts of remeron to help me sleep occasionally.

 

I am at this point where my days are not as bad as they were when I first started the taper --there are some days that are bad BUT when the night comes everything is just a absolute nightmare.

 

I still have severe insomnia but the odd thing is that in the evening I will start yawning and actually get sleepy ( i finally yawn again after 1 1/2 years of not yawning) but once I go to bed everything starts like horrible insomnia, fear, panic attacks, numbness and other things. Last night was especially hard, I didnt think i was goign to get thru it. The odd thing is that yesterday evening I felt really good --better than i had in a long time.

 

Is this happening for anyone else? Are you daytime symptoms getting better but your nights seem to be getting worse?

 

Thanks

 

Yes denfinately.  It can be a bit of a see saw for me - I go through periods where things feel better at night and then sometimes during the day.  When things are horrific at night I get my laptop and put a really mind numbing TV show on netflix on - something feel good like friends, I put it at a low sound level and fall asleep with it on - netflix won't play it all night.  This distraction seems to help at the moment.  Or I put a movie on that I've seen a hundred times on apple tv on my lap top - a feel good movie like "The guernsey literary & potato pie society" anything that doesn't bring on a ton of anxiety.  I haven't found any sleep apps that work on my phone but I've heard these can help too.  If I have a shower before bed & burn lavenender in an essential oil (not too strong) thing this can help too.  Lately I've started puting my left hand on my heart - right hand on my stomach and just deep breathing and repeatint "everything will be ok, I'm healing, all is well" over and over again and this seems to help too. 

When the nightmare of anxiety keeps going over and over have you tried chantng? I've tried this and it seems to help the intrusive throughts.  If you you tube "Nam Myoho Renge kyo" mantra - if you try a gentler one on you tube and not a super fast one.

Hope this helps

I am curious about the enornous difference between my days and nights at this point. I started my taper over two years ago and it was a rapid taper. And I am completely off for 2 months except for some small amounts of remeron to help me sleep occasionally.

 

I am at this point where my days are not as bad as they were when I first started the taper --there are some days that are bad BUT when the night comes everything is just a absolute nightmare.

 

I still have severe insomnia but the odd thing is that in the evening I will start yawning and actually get sleepy ( i finally yawn again after 1 1/2 years of not yawning) but once I go to bed everything starts like horrible insomnia, fear, panic attacks, numbness and other things. Last night was especially hard, I didnt think i was goign to get thru it. The odd thing is that yesterday evening I felt really good --better than i had in a long time.

 

Is this happening for anyone else? Are you daytime symptoms getting better but your nights seem to be getting worse?

 

Thanks

 

Hi Ocean,

You are the first person I have met here who had some time NOT yawning. I didnt either, for a full year. The frist time after that I yawned, it felt SO good and I knew this was a sign I was healing from the benzos.

Your toxic zombie sleep is also very normal. I did not sleep a wink for over a year. I just lay there and tried not to panic. Eventually I boought a simple tablet and read E books at night. But one night I started listening to "relaxation music." That didnt help much so I looked up "sleep hypnosis videos on YouTube." What I found with that search turned out to be amazing. I started listening to them every night. It took about a month for the "subliminal hypnotic words" to affect me. But when they did, I was able to sleep better. NOT a full 8 hours, but enough so I didnt feel like an utter benzo zombie. This affected me so much that to this day, nearly nine years later, certain phrases WILL make me feel more relaxed. Every YouTube sleep hypnosis person has certain "cue" words, which they repeat, softly, over and over. My favorite person on YouTube said "right now" perhaps 15 times per video. This stuuff does work and I am living proof. If I need to relax more now, I say to myself "Right now",. take a few deep breaths, and I feel calmer and collected right away.

Annie (east)

 

Yep I went for at least 6 months where I didn't yawn - the first time I did it felt so good!

Yes, for me too ... would never yawn and when I do now I love it! 

So strange isn’t it! It’s funny after I commented on not yawning I yawned for the next 5 minutes! Wonder if it will happen again now.....

Shayna, I read that and yawned. LOL LOL You go with your yawning!

 

Bess, I love your hand on your heart and the chanting softly.

 

I need to recommit to winding down ... but I feel too cold to get wet in a warm bath! I think I'll go listen to something soothing, really need the extra help right now.

Shayna, I read that and yawned. LOL LOL You go with your yawning!

 

Bess, I love your hand on your heart and the chanting softly.

 

I need to recommit to winding down ... but I feel too cold to get wet in a warm bath! I think I'll go listen to something soothing, really need the extra help right now.

 

You will get through this - you will heal. I’ve found the kinder I am to myself, with good nourishing (albeit horrifically boring) food, with good kind thoughts, with avoiding stress as much as possible (including whinging friends), the easier it is to deal with what is going on. I’ve found if I deep breathe & put my left hand on my heart @ right hand on my tummy it works a tear. Left hand on your heart at any time you feel something that’s not pleasant is a good way to bring you back into your body. I think benzo withdrawL is an absolute brutal beast. Bit of o can learn the lessons that perhaps it’s here to teach me, forgiveness, self care, acceptance, gratitude & let go of the control o so desperately crave - then it will be worth this vicious struggle.  You will heal - be kind to yourself - love yourself through this. I’m in a horrendous wave bit watching mind numbing episodes of friends - what ever you need to do to get through this that is good for you - do that. You will heal

I am curious about the enornous difference between my days and nights at this point. I started my taper over two years ago and it was a rapid taper. And I am completely off for 2 months except for some small amounts of remeron to help me sleep occasionally.

 

I am at this point where my days are not as bad as they were when I first started the taper --there are some days that are bad BUT when the night comes everything is just a absolute nightmare.

 

I still have severe insomnia but the odd thing is that in the evening I will start yawning and actually get sleepy ( i finally yawn again after 1 1/2 years of not yawning) but once I go to bed everything starts like horrible insomnia, fear, panic attacks, numbness and other things. Last night was especially hard, I didnt think i was goign to get thru it. The odd thing is that yesterday evening I felt really good --better than i had in a long time.

 

Is this happening for anyone else? Are you daytime symptoms getting better but your nights seem to be getting worse?

 

Thanks

 

Yes denfinately.  It can be a bit of a see saw for me - I go through periods where things feel better at night and then sometimes during the day.  When things are horrific at night I get my laptop and put a really mind numbing TV show on netflix on - something feel good like friends, I put it at a low sound level and fall asleep with it on - netflix won't play it all night.  This distraction seems to help at the moment.  Or I put a movie on that I've seen a hundred times on apple tv on my lap top - a feel good movie like "The guernsey literary & potato pie society" anything that doesn't bring on a ton of anxiety.  I haven't found any sleep apps that work on my phone but I've heard these can help too.  If I have a shower before bed & burn lavenender in an essential oil (not too strong) thing this can help too.  Lately I've started puting my left hand on my heart - right hand on my stomach and just deep breathing and repeatint "everything will be ok, I'm healing, all is well" over and over again and this seems to help too. 

When the nightmare of anxiety keeps going over and over have you tried chantng? I've tried this and it seems to help the intrusive throughts.  If you you tube "Nam Myoho Renge kyo" mantra - if you try a gentler one on you tube and not a super fast one.

Hope this helps

 

Thanks for the reply. I havnt tried chanting but I do breathing exercises and stretching before bed. I will take a bath sometimes around 1-2 am and then get back in bed. Sometimes that lowers the body temp and lets me get a little sleep.

 

I will try the chanting and see if it helps. Ill try just about anything.

The last couple weeks were bearable -- i have been sleeping a little. For a week or so there i was sleeping 5-6 hours a night then it was right back into the insomnia.

 

I am sorry you are having a tough time too. Hopefully this will pass soon.

 

Thanks again!

I am curious about the enornous difference between my days and nights at this point. I started my taper over two years ago and it was a rapid taper. And I am completely off for 2 months except for some small amounts of remeron to help me sleep occasionally.

 

I am at this point where my days are not as bad as they were when I first started the taper --there are some days that are bad BUT when the night comes everything is just a absolute nightmare.

 

I still have severe insomnia but the odd thing is that in the evening I will start yawning and actually get sleepy ( i finally yawn again after 1 1/2 years of not yawning) but once I go to bed everything starts like horrible insomnia, fear, panic attacks, numbness and other things. Last night was especially hard, I didnt think i was goign to get thru it. The odd thing is that yesterday evening I felt really good --better than i had in a long time.

 

Is this happening for anyone else? Are you daytime symptoms getting better but your nights seem to be getting worse?

 

Thanks

 

Yes denfinately.  It can be a bit of a see saw for me - I go through periods where things feel better at night and then sometimes during the day.  When things are horrific at night I get my laptop and put a really mind numbing TV show on netflix on - something feel good like friends, I put it at a low sound level and fall asleep with it on - netflix won't play it all night.  This distraction seems to help at the moment.  Or I put a movie on that I've seen a hundred times on apple tv on my lap top - a feel good movie like "The guernsey literary & potato pie society" anything that doesn't bring on a ton of anxiety.  I haven't found any sleep apps that work on my phone but I've heard these can help too.  If I have a shower before bed & burn lavenender in an essential oil (not too strong) thing this can help too.  Lately I've started puting my left hand on my heart - right hand on my stomach and just deep breathing and repeatint "everything will be ok, I'm healing, all is well" over and over again and this seems to help too. 

When the nightmare of anxiety keeps going over and over have you tried chantng? I've tried this and it seems to help the intrusive throughts.  If you you tube "Nam Myoho Renge kyo" mantra - if you try a gentler one on you tube and not a super fast one.

Hope this helps

 

Thanks for the reply. I havnt tried chanting but I do breathing exercises and stretching before bed. I will take a bath sometimes around 1-2 am and then get back in bed. Sometimes that lowers the body temp and lets me get a little sleep.

 

I will try the chanting and see if it helps. Ill try just about anything.

The last couple weeks were bearable -- i have been sleeping a little. For a week or so there i was sleeping 5-6 hours a night then it was right back into the insomnia.

 

I am sorry you are having a tough time too. Hopefully this will pass soon.

 

Thanks again!

 

Hi,

 

Very welcome.  With the chanting don’t chant just before bed - do it at least 4 hours before bed otherwise it can raise your energy levels,  are you drinking caffeine at the moment?

I am curious about the enornous difference between my days and nights at this point. I started my taper over two years ago and it was a rapid taper. And I am completely off for 2 months except for some small amounts of remeron to help me sleep occasionally.

 

I am at this point where my days are not as bad as they were when I first started the taper --there are some days that are bad BUT when the night comes everything is just a absolute nightmare.

 

I still have severe insomnia but the odd thing is that in the evening I will start yawning and actually get sleepy ( i finally yawn again after 1 1/2 years of not yawning) but once I go to bed everything starts like horrible insomnia, fear, panic attacks, numbness and other things. Last night was especially hard, I didnt think i was goign to get thru it. The odd thing is that yesterday evening I felt really good --better than i had in a long time.

 

Is this happening for anyone else? Are you daytime symptoms getting better but your nights seem to be getting worse?

 

Thanks

 

Yes denfinately.  It can be a bit of a see saw for me - I go through periods where things feel better at night and then sometimes during the day.  When things are horrific at night I get my laptop and put a really mind numbing TV show on netflix on - something feel good like friends, I put it at a low sound level and fall asleep with it on - netflix won't play it all night.  This distraction seems to help at the moment.  Or I put a movie on that I've seen a hundred times on apple tv on my lap top - a feel good movie like "The guernsey literary & potato pie society" anything that doesn't bring on a ton of anxiety.  I haven't found any sleep apps that work on my phone but I've heard these can help too.  If I have a shower before bed & burn lavenender in an essential oil (not too strong) thing this can help too.  Lately I've started puting my left hand on my heart - right hand on my stomach and just deep breathing and repeatint "everything will be ok, I'm healing, all is well" over and over again and this seems to help too. 

When the nightmare of anxiety keeps going over and over have you tried chantng? I've tried this and it seems to help the intrusive throughts.  If you you tube "Nam Myoho Renge kyo" mantra - if you try a gentler one on you tube and not a super fast one.

Hope this helps

 

Thanks for the reply. I havnt tried chanting but I do breathing exercises and stretching before bed. I will take a bath sometimes around 1-2 am and then get back in bed. Sometimes that lowers the body temp and lets me get a little sleep.

 

I will try the chanting and see if it helps. Ill try just about anything.

The last couple weeks were bearable -- i have been sleeping a little. For a week or so there i was sleeping 5-6 hours a night then it was right back into the insomnia.

 

I am sorry you are having a tough time too. Hopefully this will pass soon.

 

Thanks again!

 

Hi,

 

Very welcome.  With the chanting don’t chant just before bed - do it at least 4 hours before bed otherwise it can raise your energy levels,  are you drinking caffeine at the moment?

 

No i havnt drank or had caffiene in years. My diet is pretty strict. I have to keep my diet good because the medicine that I tapered from was an anti-convulsant and I have had seizures before. I have to avoid anything that can excite the brain.

 

I havnt had a chance to try the chanting yet, Ive had a cold the last few days (again).

 

Have a good day!

 

I go through periods of time where I’ll feel better in the evening and periods of time like now I feel worse in the evening, I would say most of the time I’m better in the evening.

Only recently my sleep has been affected as I've gotten much lower in my dose of clon. I was at a high of 4mg summer of 2019 and now I'm at .15mg. The last 2-3 days have been rough. Little to no sleep, adrenaline/cortisol rushes at 4am, etc. Last night I feared going to bed, but I made sure to listen to a sleep hypnosis video and it did help me relax. My sleep was pretty broken, but I'm so thankful I did get a few hours.

 

Earlier in my taper, my worse times of day would be mornings, but now that seems to have changed to nights. It may go back and forth until I jump.