3 weeks CT. Depression and Anxiety

Today marks 3 weeks since I went CT from Xanax. The physical symptoms have subsided for the most part but the anxiety and depression are getting worse by the day. The panic attacks have subsided for the most part during the day and sleep has returned some. I’ve never experience this level of anxiety or depression pre-Benzo or any other time in life. I’ve been home bound since this process started and I miss life so much. I’m looking for some encouragement. Success stories? I know it has been a short time but my family is also dealing with this.. They have been very supportive but it’s weighing heavy with my spouse. I have an appt with my primary care physician on Friday for a progress check on my withdrawal and I’m considering discussing an AD to help get through this. I have had a bad experience with several AD in the past, which is how I ended up on Xanax. I started this withdrawal wanting to be completely med free, so there is guilt about considering another med. I have been working with a therapist weekly since my withdrawal and she assures me that this is normal. Like I mentioned, I just miss life.

Cold turkey is rough, even for those who were on the drug for a short time, I'm sorry you're in such a bad place right now.  I'm going to caution you about adding another medication, I've seen mixed reactions from members with most of them negative.  Our central nervous system is highly sensitized during this process so adding anything else can make things worse.  You mention you've had difficulty in the past taking A/D's so I'd sure think twice before beginning one now but of course, this is up to you and your Dr.

 

I'm glad to hear you've been working with a therapist, and she's right, this is normal.

 

You're right, Pamster.  I had tremors and akathisia after a cold turkey and taking just 3 capsules of pregabalin led to disaster: continuous muscle spasm in most of the body and severe neuropathic pain, including the face, lower back and abdomen, without windows, which continues to this day and made life unbearable .

I agree, I CT'd and tried to reinstate a AD. I've been on and off this AD for years and tolerate it fine. Trying it in benzo withdrawal was a whole different story and an experience I never want to repeat.

 

IF you do decide to, I would recommend starting VERY slow at a fraction of recommended dose. SSRI's in particular will increase your anxiety in the 1st few weeks.

 

But if you can just hold on a little longer things should improve, at 3 weeks you will still be in acute withdrawal where symptoms are much more intense.

I too am going to caution you...many meds can go paradoxical (opposite/unintended effect) in benzo recovery. I don't want to see you add to your struggle more.

 

We are all desperate for something to take the edge off, or speed up the process. Tie and time again what I read is basically,

" the only way out is through".

It takes time for our brains and bodies to heal. There are gaba receptors everywhere (literally)and they need to heal. Plus gaba is involved in so many chemical processes/hormones in the body no wonder we feel really rough. Our poor systems!!

 

Your in acute..the depth of the pain - where everything is insanely trying. And CT is no joke.

 

BUT...others have made it and you can too. Reach deep and surrender to the process.

Im in month 7 after a rapid taper. I am now free of benzos and AD's. I still have a lot of healing to do, but I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel now. Enough to help me push through on the rough days. I reach out to friends here on the dark days and return the hope wherever I can.

 

All very normal. When one goes off benzos, your brain reacts, sometimes violently. You are indeed lucky to NOT have a lot of symptoms. But anxiety and depression are perhaps the most prevalent wd symptoms. They come from your injured brain. And tyour brain will heal itself without any work from your mind.

Perhaps find some ways to distract yourself from it all. Try to remain positive no matter what. You will heal from this, but it may take some time.

Annie

Thank you all for the responses.

 

I had a window yesterday and part of today and it was glorious. Dealing with the migraines and anxiety again today. The intrusive thoughts are changing shape, which my therapist tells me is a sign of healing because I’m mentally fighting against them so they are trying harder to scare me. I canceled my primary care appt for tomorrow. I’m going to keep healing without meds.

I think you've made the right choice and glad you're seeing improvement

I’m new to this and I had no idea it could be that bad for only being on for 8 weeks.  I’m on day 3 of cold turkey after 2 months of Xanax. These  three days have been hell but I figured it would get better after a week or so.  My story is similar to yours. Does every day get better?  Can you tell me what I have waiting for me on day 4 and on?  I sure hope your feeling better.

I’m new to this and I had no idea it could be that bad for only being on for 8 weeks.  I’m on day 3 of cold turkey after 2 months of Xanax. These  three days have been hell but I figured it would get better after a week or so.  My story is similar to yours. Does every day get better?  Can you tell me what I have waiting for me on day 4 and on?  I sure hope your feeling better.

 

Symptoms will wax and wane, the healing process is not linear.  Some symptoms will leave only to return another day, others will leave but replaced by something equally as hideous.  Your brain is working to get back to normal but it takes time to repair the damage done by the drug.

 

Hang in there, you're in a much better place having only been on the drug for 2 months but that's still long enough for your brain to have made changes to how it works due to the presence of the drug. 

I’m new to this and I had no idea it could be that bad for only being on for 8 weeks.  I’m on day 3 of cold turkey after 2 months of Xanax. These  three days have been hell but I figured it would get better after a week or so.  My story is similar to yours. Does every day get better?  Can you tell me what I have waiting for me on day 4 and on?  I sure hope your feeling better.

 

Hang in there. I had 7 solid days of physically debilitating symptoms and did not leave my bed. I lost 14lbs in 10 days. I won’t lie, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced physically. The mental part has been incredibly hard. As mentioned, the symptoms will come and go. I have good days and bad days. Each day I do see improvement even if it isn’t a bad day. The bad days aren’t as bad as they were and the good days are getting better too. I’m 3.5wks into this process and I have a long way to go, but I’m encouraged with my progress. Are you working with a therapist/counselor during this time? I have found that my counselor has been a godsend. I use a virtual counselor service so we can text daily and we video chat weekly. She has experience with benzo withdrawal. Keep strong! Be sure to be kind to yourself during this hard time. Give yourself the time to heal.