Can’t take this anxiety

13 days from c/t alprazolam. Had an ok few days where the intensity of my symptoms were much lower. Slammed with panic out of no where around 5pm and still going strong. It is now almost midnight. My heart rate is normal but I feel like I have this constant surge of nervous energy racing through my body. I am so tired I could cry but I can’t sleep to save my soul.

 

Losing hope again and really just needing some reassurance. Tired of feeling like a transient in my body.

As horrible as it is right now I assure you even though it seems impossible that anyone could live through such hell, you can and will.  It is worse than we can conceive of, but it will get better.

  The symptoms will probably push the sensation of your current suffering being eternal.  Concentrate on the reality that you are TEMPORARILY going through really horrible withdrawals so that you will be free of this dependency FOREVER.

Thanks Myke for always lending an encouraging word. I hate this feeling of hopelessness. This is not me. I’m one of the happiest people I know and I’m dying to get that back.

I'm sorry you are struggling right now. There will be better days ahead though. I definitely find that the severe anxiety comes and goes. Hopefully you will get a break and have some windows soon. 😊

I'm sorry you are struggling right now. There will be better days ahead though. I definitely find that the severe anxiety comes and goes. Hopefully you will get a break and have some windows soon. 😊

 

 

Thank you SRR! It’s so exhausting and discouraging that’s for sure.

Hope you got my message as it seems timely given your post.  Hang in there!  Remember, you HAD ok days and some decent moments which means MORE are ahead.  Also, the middle of the night is an ugly time anyways for any of those nasty surges.  It amplifies the hopelessness for sure, but you are strong and can/will push on.  We understand for sure. 

Anxiety in withdrawal is pure torture. I've been there too and I know how miserable it is.

 

It doesn't make it go away but reminding yourself it's a product of your CNS trying to readjust can help to get a just a sliver of distance. 

 

I found the best thing to distract from and burn off that horrible anxious energy was throwing myself into activity - a walk where my footsteps pounded  that energy into the ground, cleaning my home like a demon, doing a crossword puzzle or something that demanded concentration...etc.

 

It will let up.  In the meantime, you will just keep moving forward through each hour, each day, as you heal.

Hope you got my message as it seems timely given your post.  Hang in there!  Remember, you HAD ok days and some decent moments which means MORE are ahead.  Also, the middle of the night is an ugly time anyways for any of those nasty surges.  It amplifies the hopelessness for sure, but you are strong and can/will push on.  We understand for sure.

 

Thank you Sunshine. Yes I got your message and it was good timing lol I’m definitely riding the struggle bus today. Just have to remember to take it moment by moment. Yes I did have good moments and I’m trying so hard to hang onto those. I just keep fantasizing about the day i can write my success story and be a ray of hope for someone else.

Thank you Brighter. Your words are encouraging even though I sit here typing through tears. One good thing is I have been forcing myself to continue on and engage with life. So maybe I’m not doing as bad as my mind is trying to lead me to believe. I know some people have it much worse than me. And my heart hurts for them. I just hate feeling nervous and fearful for no reason. It is pure torture. I just want to be better for my kids.

Please don't compare your suffering to others - your suffering is real and legitimate.  You're right that your mind is trying to lead you to believe the benzo lies.  Don't believe those lies.  Hang in there.  You're strong.  You will get there and you will be better, for yourself and your kids.

Take care

Day 13 off X for me too C/T and decided to cut lunesta too day 5 with no lunesta ... so not sleeping

I was in meltdown mode all day yesterday. Cried all day, horrible anxiety. I’m complete distraught mess.

Thank goodness I have no more X or I prob would have broke down yesterday and taken it.

Today isn’t so bad yet, morning are always the worst. I keep saying just one more day, tmrw will be better.

It will be 2 weeks off tmrw. Hopefully we will be through the hardest part then. Could definitely use a window like a whole day long  window would  be nice. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

The dread of waking up and wondering how hard each day is gonna be. My gut is mess I feel shaky all day.

We gotta hang in there. Stay strong, Just keep breathing.

 

Thank you. It’s hard to feel like you will overcome this when you feel out of your mind. I feel like my brain is fried from all the stress and anxiety. My head feels like it weight 50lbs. Praying for sleep and a better tomorrow.