Depression is very common while using a benzo, tapering, or after jumping. So I can see why you are feeling so rough.
I'm sorry you've struggled with it for so long. I've had episodes off an on through life, but I know I had a lot of situational things that contributed to it.
I always encourage ppl to look at diet, exercise, and what supports they have in life. In addition theres sometimes things we keep inside that we need to work through so I think a good therapist can be very helpful. but even with all that I know that once dealing with benzos a lot of this is bio/chemical.
My waves vary..I've had them last days/week/ and weirdly wash over me for a few hrs and lift. My window days are by no means perfect, but are noticeably better than my wave days by far. There are may who do not have definitive window/wave patterns, and sound a lot like how you describe.
I don't know you so its hard to have a good discussion on this to find what may benefit you. but sometimes its just good to talk and know you're not alone in this:)
Thank you Trina!
I’m struggling with depression I believe. I have tried almost everything from exposure therapy, reading self help books, CBT therapy and more. And it feels no matter how hard I try the thoughts and feelings won’t go away. My waves and windows are on and off all day, so it confuses me if this is WD or not. Feels like mood swings. One minute I’m ok the next sad and scared. And it’s on the same topic every time. I guess this benzo likes to go after people and things we love the most.
But I also think I might have anhedonia on and off I don’t find pleasure in many things. I still do things but it feels as if my reward system is off. I’m never proud of myself. I can’t feel majority of the time. I hope this gets better !
Thank you foe your post it gave me some hope!
Ah I'm sorry for my late response! I went from horrible depression to apathy/anhedonia for a bit. Many on here will experience what is like mood swings too. Don't be surprised when emotions return if they are intense! Anger and arousal can be intense for some ppl too. Our bodies re trying to find balance again after being shut down for so long!
I can laugh again..laugh so hard I cry. Joy returns.
