End of taper, feeling miserable and need support. I need hope back.

My symptoms are worst they have ever been.  Although its miserable, I can tolerate the pain, nausea and fatigue. But I hate this restlessness.  I hate having inability to process info correctly.  I hate the negative thoughts and inability to see the light at end of tunnel (hope for a positive future).  I hate feeling lonely and alone, as well as not being able to contact anyone for help in this state. Grateful I am able to type this message.  I hate that I can barely take care of myself and can't keep my adulting responsibilities up on my own.  I hate not being able to move and feel so lazy just laying around.  I hate the unbelievable fear that I feel to do anything. (everything scares me).  There's more symptoms but those are the worst,

 

I try to keep reminding myself that this is all part of the taper, but it's really hard.  I could use some reminders today to help me through these awful symptoms and keep me positive.

 

Any comments, advice or magical things that helped anyone at end of taper is much appreciated.  Grateful for your BB support.  [/font]

Wow, I have to say that you've come so far! Congratulations on that part of it. I know it's still very difficult but at least a big part of it is done! I have a lot of those same symptoms when I cut my dose each month. I'm still tapering. I deal with a lot of fear as well because I have a lot of underlying anxiety and panic issues that have to be worked on as well as all the withdrawal symptoms.

 

All I can say is that you have come so far that you know what all of this feels like and have been through it all before. It really does get old and there are times when I feel very tired of it all but there are a few things that help.

 

I do the Body Scan by Jon Kabot Zin and that helps center me. I do yoga most days, that really helps. I take two natural products. One is called Rescue Remedy and one is called Calms Forte. They both help. I try to distract myself and have some kind of outing when I'm going crazy at home. There is a lake nearby and I'll drive there and put out my yoga mat and lie in the sun and listen to my favorite pod cast, Fake Doctors Real Friends which is by the guys who did the tv show Scrubs. It's great and really gives me a distraction when my mind is obsessing about all of this. 

A lot of us have taken a lot of time to come off low doses. I think I qualify as one You might consider slowing down for what is a pretty quick taper by some standards

I'm so impressed! I hope I can do the same soon. Are you using a scale? If so, what kind? I'm still at the beginning but you've come far! You've inspired me. You're still alive! Thank you!

Baby spice is that you? U were my favourite spice girl!!! X  u are super spice actually. Look at what u have been through! *insert hero by Mariah Carey here. Be so proud of urself baby spice. U are so close to the end of the line. Be the little engine that could now. U have got this gurllll 

Wow, you are doing so great!  Do t be hard on yourself, I am sure at this point in your taper you are really have a tough time of it.  Keep inching towards the finish line!!!

I know you're feeling chemically miserable but getting to the end of your taper... that's a big deal! 

 

It's a big milestone on your journey. I hope that's not a source of extra nerves but rather a source of encouragement. Think about how unlikely it felt that you'd get to the end of your taper when you first started.

 

You may have some more stuff to go through but according to the medical literature, the dose you are taking is "clinically insignificant", which is a fancy way of saying "does nothing". In a month or two, there'll be no benzos in your blood. However bad you're feeling right now, the good thing is that any suffering that you're going through and which may still be ahead of you, is your body and brain figuring out how to get by on zero medication rather than adapting to less.

 

You'll get through this spell like the others. There will be a last time you have to go through a period of intense symptoms. You probably won't know it's the last time as it's happening. Every time you go through one of these spells, you're closer to the last time it's going to happen!

I'm so impressed! I hope I can do the same soon. Are you using a scale? If so, what kind? I'm still at the beginning but you've come far! You've inspired me. You're still alive! Thank you!

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE FOR CHEERING ME ON!  This is the worst feeling and it was super nice to log on and see so many inspiring comments. This is so hard to go through alone without friends and some doctors understanding.  All your comments really cheered me up today.

 

Yes, I am using a scale.  Gemini Scale with a file to shave pills.  I wish I had started with scale earlier on.

 

 

 

 

You got this girl  tell those symptoms that you're not backing down! Let your spirit animal come out! Mine is a tiger. Emelie Sande " Tiger" on YouTube

Thank you Lady!!!

 

My bad days are really bad, but my good days I almost feeling back to normal.  So frustratiing!  I'm trying soooooo hard to keep hope alive.  I hate feeling so worried. 

That's very normal to have good days and bad days. It can even be good for a few hours then bad a few hours. Trust me, you don't want to have constant feeling bad. This is just a part of the process although it sucks! Just don't let it get the best of you. Recognize it as withdrawals/ recovering. As time go on, it will get less. You got this!!!!!!

baby Spice....I'm 7 months out from my jump -there is def light at the end of this tunnel. Hang on!

I def still have healing left, but it is so different from where I was in the beginning!

Thanks Trina and Lady!

 

I needed to read that today.  Been a tough week. 

Look at ur signature! Amazing! Look how far u are! U are a warrior x

I just posted about light at the end of the tunnel.  You will def get there!  One day this will all be in your rear view mirror.