Severe intrusive thoughts constantly 24/7

Haven't seemed find anyone else with this. Only mental symptoms started with intrusive thoughts when had to CT zopiclone were fairly mild at first got lot worse at about 6 months off. Tried anti depressants but had adverse reaction so for last 11 months been constant they caused me to now have full blown OCD.

This is relentless 24/7 I get no peace can barely go out because I fear may have hurt people. But in the house constantly have check things so life is miserable there as well. Gone right off food from moment I get up to when I go to bed this is all I think about. Stopped the citalopram 12 weeks ago but no relief. Just desperate to know if anyone else had this as fear it's permanent. Have tried various distractions over last 2 years now going try psychologist. But fear any sort normal lufe been taken away.

I hope the new p-doc can show you some coping techniques that work for you.  Looping thoughts kept me awake for quite some time before I got them somewhat under control.

Did say there are other meds but as the meds caused it not going near anything else especially not SSRI's can't tolerate them. Don't seem that many that just have mental symptoms, I could cope with physical stuff.

That has been my main symptom the entire time. Look at my signature below to see my history with clonazepam. I am now a little over a year off taking my last dose from a fairly slow taper. Right now I feel like I am in Hell. Obsessive negative looping thoughts and paranoia. I went on a date last night with my partner and felt like I was having to pretend almost the entire time. I feel that my brain is so filled up with obsessive negative looping thoughts that I can think of nothing else. Like that is a full-time job. So I can’t think of anything that’s good or any fond feelings towards any other human or anything constructive because it is just seeped in that obsessive looping fearful mode and I can’t seem to get out of it. I’m sorry that you’re going through this too. It’s horrific. I have physical symptoms too but that symptom of the looping obsessive thoughts and the paranoia and the terror are the worst and I’ve had them the entire time.

I have both physical and totally insane mental torture with OCD racing intrusive thoughts for soon 35 months. Some days worse some days less but always there.. DP can bring extreme existensial thoughts and looping thoughts for hours/days/month and I  suffer from severe DR DP and its very common to get OCD thoughts bc of that.

I am like a child wanna know everything or get thoughts or paranoia. Think I am someone else or ask over and over who? Why? When? What? I? He? She? About everything

I also have earworms songs nonstop up to 20 different a day its also very common when suffer from DP.

Now today I have nonstop thoughts about if I am alive or in purgatory or who my husband is is he really my husband my brain keeps asking me. Or why do I have a dog? Is he my dog? Is ge supposed to live here? Why is it getting dark ouside? Over and over. Exhausted...

 

Edit: Removed disallowed content.

That has been my main symptom the entire time. Look at my signature below to see my history with clonazepam. I am now a little over a year off taking my last dose from a fairly slow taper. Right now I feel like I am in Hell. Obsessive negative looping thoughts and paranoia. I went on a date last night with my partner and felt like I was having to pretend almost the entire time. I feel that my brain is so filled up with obsessive negative looping thoughts that I can think of nothing else. Like that is a full-time job. So I can’t think of anything that’s good or any fond feelings towards any other human or anything constructive because it is just seeped in that obsessive looping fearful mode and I can’t seem to get out of it. I’m sorry that you’re going through this too. It’s horrific. I have physical symptoms too but that symptom of the looping obsessive thoughts and the paranoia and the terror are the worst and I’ve had them the entire time.

[/quote

 

 

I am so sorry you are going through this too, but makes me feel better I am not the only one going through this hell.. They have really polydrugged you over the years.i was so ill advised think if I'd not taken AD would probably been healed by now. It is as you describe the thoughts consume your whole life no matter how you try tell yourself they are just thoughts. It is like you are existing in a twilight world, and incapable  of feeling anything just like empty space inside. Been like this for about 11 months since started the AD. Have thought I was going insane at times. So sorry you are experiencing this as well.

I had this plus looping songs in my head when I first jumped almost 3 months ago. I fought it by doing puzzles....sudoku, crosswords, playing cards etc I also interrupted them by listing things from A-z like flowers, countries of the world etc also naming the 50 USA states in order.

Hope it helps you too

Btw, it went away pretty quickly

I had this plus looping songs in my head when I first jumped almost 3 months ago. I fought it by doing puzzles....sudoku, crosswords, playing cards etc I also interrupted them by listing things from A-z like flowers, countries of the world etc also naming the 50 USA states in order.

Hope it helps you too

Btw, it went away pretty quickly

 

Those are all excellent mental activities for taking back control of your mind. 

Sorry to appear negative but I've tried endless distractions everything under the sun work for little while then stop. Had this badly for about 11 months while on AD but been worse since stopped AD nearly 3 months ago . Corona made things worse as not having face to face interaction with people made me feel more isolated.

Leann,

 

I understand your situation.  I have looping thoughts that I am attracted to women and as I result I do not even want to look at other women, I get the nerve burning and fear when I do.  It is bizarre, but I think I can rationalize now that it is the only thing that could ruin my relationship that I am in.  Well, I think that’s the fear, because otherwise if the relationship was not at stake and my sexual orientation changed, I really would not give this whole looping thought any attention at all.

 

If you did not care about your fears than they would have no value.  So I guess our challenge is, how do we not value our fears...?  I do not have the answer, but I am working with a CBT specialist who has been helping me immensely.  I do activities to reprogram the mind.  I actually felt love for my mother yesterday, probably the first time since childhood.  She passed away over 6 years ago, absolutely the most beautiful experience.

 

So, anyway, I am peeling back the layers, trying to accept where I am in life.  I am moving away from the idea of who I was before the benzos because that is not who I am today.  I am not that person, I am this person.  And this person needs help managing the looping thoughts, whatever caused them...does not matter.  The situation is making life too difficult for me today and I have to manage it the best way I know how.  We have to take our power back, we are our minds and it takes work to organize thoughts.  Benzos use caused us to basically have zero thoughts, now we have too many thoughts.  Once we learn how to manage them, it gets easier and they slow down.  Easier said than done for sure but that’s why I chose to work with a therapist who can help me fix this.  Keep in mind, I had to be ready to do this, the acute phase was over for me and I was no longer laying on the floor crying.  I believe there is definitely an appropriate time for this type of work.

 

In time we all heal, you will too.  Sending love and prayers.

 

Love

Fiercey 

I've just started with a psychotherapist so hopefully it will help me as well. Just relentless when goes on for months. Good it's helping you. Think lot stuff that happened in past has been numbed down by zop so need deal with that as well

Again, I hope your new p-doc and you can find a path that works for you.

I believe it has to be the right therapist.  I found Sitting and talking did absolutely nothing for me.  CBT helped me, I had so many therapists over the years and yes they helped to give me support because I did not have that at home but we’re not able to heal anything...I think it was the stupid benzos that were blocking the potential of healing...benzos screwed me up really bad...really really really bad.  I am just so grateful to have another chance.  You will get to this point too.

 

❤️

 

Oh, have you considered a Naturopathic Physician?

It was the anti depressants really screwed me up particularly Sertraline although does seem help some. The therapist does seem OK like the fact she dips into various therapies and worked in mental Heath for NHS fir 18 years so lot experience. Can't afford a naturopath don't get any help on NHS and spent enough on various therapists already. How long before you found the therapy sessions started helping?

I'm pretty stubborn.  It took about six months before my therapy sessions netted any positive results.  I mostly ranted to her early on about how the world had wronged me and that I had no viable options to move forward.  She got kind of tired with me playing victim and very nearly dropped me at one point.  That was a big wake-up call.

How terrible, badsocref SHAME on your therapist. That's her job to listen & not get tired.

Distractions are the key in this case of looping songs, intrusive thoughts etc. you must INTERRUPT them by saying the opposite of them. For example: why do I have a dog? You answer....because I love him & he loves me. Then keep saying it while going over to your dog to love on him or her. So replace the negative with positive then KEEP the positive each time that negative thoughts come back. If you've been through trauma ( most of us have) when you're reminded of it, say something positive to it like " that was the past & I survived that because I'm stronger than I thought."

You get the picture?

Looping songs - if I like the song, I jam to it! If I don't, I change the song by singing something else then jam! I LOVE Michael Jackson or the Jackson 5.... One night I was trying to sleep all of a sudden the song Dancing Machine looped in my head. I got up and jammed to it! I played it on my phone and had a great time doing the robot 

No shame (on her).  Yeah, it caught me off guard, but in retrospect I probably needed it.  It helped to get my head out of my arse.  Might not work for everybody, but it probably accelerated my recovery.

 

I used similar interruptions for my looping/negative thoughts, fwiw.  Worked well.  I'd actually say, "No!" out loud to break the cyclical thinking.  Probably surprised a few people.

I've done that too. Just say " stop it!" Out loud

I’ve been off Klonopin for over four years now, but my longest lasting symptom was intrusive thoughts.  A friend turned me on to Vetiver oil.  I would rub it on the bottoms of my feet when the intrusive thoughts were at their worst ( usually in the middle of the night ) , and it calmed my mind down tremendously.  Amazon has many different brands, just make sure it’s therapeutic grade.  This herbal oil is amazing.

Take care, those thoughts WILL end.

What is it never heard of it? The CBT stuff didn't work just saying stop to the thoughts all that sort of stuff maybe when you aren't quite so bad is more effective.

I’ve been off Klonopin for over four years now, but my longest lasting symptom was intrusive thoughts.  A friend turned me on to Vetiver oil.  I would rub it on the bottoms of my feet when the intrusive thoughts were at their worst ( usually in the middle of the night ) , and it calmed my mind down tremendously.  Amazon has many different brands, just make sure it’s therapeutic grade.  This herbal oil is amazing.

Take care, those thoughts WILL end.

 

 

Just ordered some do you use it every night? Know you meant to dilute it but I used to use lavender oil on my temples undiluted for migraines.