Help! In need of support

Hi everyone,

I was on mostly 5mg of Valium daily, sometimes more, sometimes less, sometimes I wouldn't take it for days (I now realise I was kindling my brain doing this - ooops) for 5 months.  The last month I had flu like symptoms and didn't work - I now know this was tolerance withdrawal.  I went cold turkey on three doctors advice and my psychologist - oops was fine for 11 days then symptoms really kicked in.  I'm in my 8th month of not taking any valium (yay!) but I'm still experiencing waves of symptoms - the last 3 months I have had more waves than windows - to the point where I'm actually scared of the windows as I've gotten so used to the waves of symptoms - if this makes any sense. 

I spoke to my psychologist a few days ago - she is not benzo savvy and was the psychologist who advised it was fine to go cold turkey.  The session with her was awful - I felt so dreadful afterwards.  She said she has a client who has been on a higher dosage of benzo's for a longer period of time and was also using cocaine at the same time and "he is doing just fine".  She said my symptoms are psycho somatic and to tell her one doctor who believed you could still have symptoms after 8 months and using mostly 5mg a day for 5 months.  I replied my GP believed me, she then said it didn't count as the GP wasn't a specialist in Drug and Alcohol.  What matters is I believe it is Benzo withdrawal - I know it is as I've had every other test under the sun and it's all come up negative. 

Help! I'm in need of support as I feel so depressed and awful.  I know I need to stop discussing benzo withdrawal with the psychologist and possibly find another psychologist to deal with the Benzo withdrawal.  I know I am a rare case as most people on the lower dose for the 5 month period would have healed.  I had taken Attivan for a short period of time 4 years prior to going on Valium so I had experienced the physical withdrawal from that and I"m not sure if the Ativan usage would have contributed to the length of withdrawal and many symptoms I have with the valium withdrawal. I have a rare genetic cancer mutation and have had to have all of my colon out so I'm not sure if this would contribute to the withdrawal either, I've had a ton of surgery with lots of aesthetic - including when I was on valium.  So I guess I'm asking if anyone else has had symptoms 8 months after stopping benzo's after a relatively short dose for a relatively short time.

Thanks so much and I hope everyone is doing as ok

I’m not 8 months deep so can only speak to what I’ve read on here, and that is that it’s not uncommon at all for symptoms to pop up months or even years down the track.

What are your symptoms?

Many people have had "short term" use and have had a long journey to recovery. You are actually not rare in this case. Sadly you will not get the validation you need/want from most in the psyche field. I find it discouraging too.

I am so sorry for your situation for your colon - that in itself is a lot to deal with.

Most people who have passed through this site over the years have needed many months (past a year...) to heal. Not what we want to hear..but at least you know you are normal.

On here you will find validation for your experience and hopefully the encouragement you need to push through.

Bess, I am so sorry you wwre treated that way. I was too, and know how painful that can be. You start to doubt your sanity.

But here is another way of looking at this:

Getting off benzos may well be the best and most healthy thing you ever do. It sure was for me.

I can tell you something else. You are NOT a "rare case." Unfortunately many people have gone thru the same thing. The depression, the being dismissed by doctors, etc etc. ALL of this is normal for benzo wd people. Much of benzo wd is simply a waiting game. One has to try to cope with their symptoms without reaching for yet another damn pill.

Bess, I hear your pain. Loud and clear, and I on ce felt just as you do now. And I healed from the benzos. So will YOU.

Annie

Hi everyone,

 

I was on mostly 5mg of Valium daily, sometimes more, sometimes less, sometimes I wouldn't take it for days (I now realise I was kindling my brain doing this - ooops) for 5 months.  The last month I had flu like symptoms and didn't work - I now know this was tolerance withdrawal.  I went cold turkey on three doctors advice and my psychologist ...

Hi Bess- I'm very much a newbie to this, but from all the research I have read to date, and from the conversations I have had with both my own consultant psychiatrist and various mental health professionals, the symptoms you describe sound pretty typical of somebody who is a few months into their post Benzo withdrawl. It's pretty hideous, but the vast majority of people on here seem to indicate that they get better as the months go by.