24/7 Suffering No More - Hang in there!

If it didn't happen to me, I would have never believed it. What kind of medicine is this? I am a short term user, 2 weeks on benzos to be exact and 6 weeks on an antidepressant to try fix what the benzos did. I have spent many hours on this website reading success stories of long term users, some of whom healed in 6 months and wondered why my neurotransmitters reacted the way they did. Why weren’t  they strong enough...? But then I remember that I was actually poisoned. Having never suffered depression or anxiety before, what I experienced was unimaginable. I cried many days saying I was going crazy, or that I have gone crazy. Everyone here understands the damage these meds do. I am 6 months off today. I count from when I stopped a gaba supplement I was also taking because coming off it was just as bad. The insomnia was relentless it felt like my brain was locked and I couldn't see myself getting to this point but I did. Many symptoms have left, 23 to be exact. And I have a dozen remaining most of which are easing up non linearly. I see my cup as half full and cannot wait for the next 6 months. To the newbies still in acute, hear this, it does get better. You cant imagine it getting better because the pain is relentless, but hang in there. The days will roll into each other until one day the brain fog lifts, and the symptoms start to slowly go away. Make sure you are off any gaba affecting supplements as well, this is important. Here are the symptoms that vanished into the night after waiting for what felt like an eternity.. NOTE: I did not suffer these all at the same time. They came in packs and ravaged me until I gave into this process and started practicing acceptance. I am stronger than I ever imagined and so are you....

 

Brain zaps: Healed 100%

Blurry vision: Healed 100%

Night terrors/ Horrifying dreams: Healed 100%

Auditory hallucinations: Healed 100%

Severe burning muscle pain: Healed 100%

Seeing flashing lights: Healed 100%

Pins and needles sensations: Healed 100%

Insomnia, felt like my brain was stuck and couldn’t sleep- Healed 100%

Anxiety - Healed 100%

Panic Attacks - Healed 100%

Nausea - Healed 100%

Vertigo - Healed 100%

Heart palpitations - Healed 100%

Muscle fasciculations - Healed 100%

Tremors - Healed 100%

Sensitivity to noise - Healed 100%

Eye spasms / twitches - Healed 100%

Feeling like my brain was moving or would fall out and also weird scary sensations in my brain- Healed 100%

Sharp pains in my head - Healed 100%

Benzo belly - Healed 100%

Brain Fog - Healed 100%

Constant coughing: Healed 100%

Feeling like the brain is switching off: Healed 100%

Thank you for posting this! Our stories are very similar. Originally put on Benzos for insomnia. I only took about 30 Benzo pills in total (every 2-3 days for 3 months) and got put on Lexapro for 4 weeks due to the depression/anxiety from the Benzo. I'm also a similar age to you. It seems like my symptoms were just as bad as longer term users but the healing timeline has been faster. I'm maybe 70% healed at 3.5 months off.

 

Going to start an embryo freezing process (similar to IVF) soon and praying it doesn't rev up my symptoms.

Thank you thankyou thank you, also a 36 y.o female poisoned by myself. I take full responsibility for the decision I made to go on this poision. Anywho, your story, your writing is uplifting and perfectly said.

 

Thank you for sharing.

 

kanoba

I am so glad I found your story. I am 10 days free of Xanax (alprazolam)  and I’m feeling everything you felt. I c/t on Sept 2nd. I was taking .5 once or twice a day.  I’m a 37 y/o mom of 3 under 11. I took this poison for 4 1/2 months total. Every day is different. Some days are better than others but not great or even good. However  I felt worse the last week taking it than I do now.

 

Would love to connect with any and all who are feeling all of this to support each other through. 🙏🏼

AnxiousAnn, good luck with your procedure, do let us know how it goes..?

Desperatemom, congratulations on being off this poison. There are people still stuck on these drugs who cant get off. You will slowly start getting better. Its not easy but we are all doing it. Eat well, take it slow and hang in there...

Trying: Not sure why I am only seeing this post now..but I am so glad I did! So happy for you:)

You know how much hope this gives everyone (including me..). Looking forward to your success story one day!!!

I am so glad I found your story. I am 10 days free of Xanax (alprazolam)  and I’m feeling everything you felt. I c/t on Sept 2nd. I was taking .5 once or twice a day.  I’m a 37 y/o mom of 3 under 11. I took this poison for 4 1/2 months total. Every day is different. Some days are better than others but not great or even good. However  I felt worse the last week taking it than I do now.

 

Would love to connect with any and all who are feeling all of this to support each other through. 🙏🏼

 

Thank you for sharing openly, your story resonates with me same age, gender. etc. Used for 5.8 months.

 

THANK YOU

Hi all, thank you for sharing your stories. I'm a 37 year old female with two beautiful boys under 5. I'm at the start of my journey tapering off Temazapan as quickly as possible after a short stint trying to help with sleep. Every day I am sad that I cannot be the mother that I want to be due to the depression & relentless anxiety but every day I  get up & be the best possible mother I can be. I have come to accept this horrible feeling & symptoms & trying my best every day to get through.

Trying, thank you for your resonating words.  I was also a very short time user (a little over two weeks) who was burned badly by Benzos and let down by incredulous doctors—insult to injury.  I just jumped from what was a way too fast taper at the beginning but began seeing some small progress and healing at the very end once I listened to my body.  Your story prompted me to write my “milestone” as well and gave me hope, along with other stories here, that there is indeed more healing to come, that I am not permanently damaged from this nightmare.

 

Best,

 

Amanda

Calmseeker

 

I wish u peace

An update...this is the hardest thing we will all have to go through in our lives. I thought I was saying this because I’m 35 but even people in their 50’s and 60’s say the same thing. If it didn’t happen to me I would have never believed it. It’s unbelievable! To those who are still in the throes of it, tapering or just getting off, know it does get better. It’s the slowest most unbelievable frustrating process but time will do magic and improve your symptoms, even if you believe they are permanent as we all do. I will be 7 months off in a few days. I have a dozen symptoms but I’d say I’m “critical” only a few days a month and the rest of the days I’m able to function and can “fake it”. Everyone on this site has to fake it in the real world at some point. I did a DNA test recently and someone on here was kind enough to translate the results for me. My MTHFR gene is normal which apparently is a good thing and will help with healing. The liver is good too and the test listed medications I can metabolise and those I should be careful of. My COMT gene is partially defective which explains the cortisol rushes and multiple wakings at night. I can’t wait for these to stop. After this, I’d have to be at death’s door before I take strong medications. I’m so scared of them now, as a short termer who’s had such a severe reaction, it’s understandable. To all those suffering everyday, it will get better...  we are healing... slow yes, but it’s happening... Trust your body. Lastly... the FDA finally recognises our condition!

 

More update on symptoms:

1. Air hunger - healed 100%

2. Agoraphobia - healed 100%

3. Vibrating legs - new symptom in month 6, it’s on and off but I’m calling it healed! EDITED - Healed 100%

4. Itching - new symptom in month 5 and 6, on and off but I’m calling it! EDITED - Healed 100%

 

Here is to month 8!!!!

Wow, Trying, I'm SO happy for you! Big hugs!

Congratulations on a journey well fought :clap:

Happy for you!!!!!  You have given me hope regarding the headaches, zaps, pain, etc.  I am 7 months and 1 week out and my most persistent and painful symptom is “all in my head.”  Once I can get rid of my head issues, everything else will be a walk in the park.  Continued healing and enjoy a healthy and joy filled life

An update...this is the hardest thing we will all have to go through in our lives. I thought I was saying this because I’m 35 but even people in their 50’s and 60’s say the same thing. If it didn’t happen to me I would have never believed it. It’s unbelievable! To those who are still in the throes of it, tapering or just getting off, know it does get better. It’s the slowest most unbelievable frustrating process but time will do magic and improve your symptoms, even if you believe they are permanent as we all do. I will be 7 months off in a few days. I have a dozen symptoms but I’d say I’m “critical” only a few days a month and the rest of the days I’m able to function and can “fake it”. Everyone on this site has to fake it in the real world at some point. I did a DNA test recently and someone on here was kind enough to translate the results for me. My MTHFR gene is normal which apparently is a good thing and will help with healing. The liver is good too and the test listed medications I can metabolise and those I should be careful of. My COMT gene is partially defective which explains the cortisol rushes and multiple wakings at night. I can’t wait for these to stop. After this, I’d have to be at death’s door before I take strong medications. I’m so scared of them now, as a short termer who’s had such a severe reaction, it’s understandable. To all those suffering everyday, it will get better...  we are healing... slow yes, but it’s happening... Trust your body. Lastly... the FDA finally recognises our condition!

 

More update on symptoms:

1. Air hunger - healed 100%

2. Agoraphobia - healed 100%

3. Vibrating legs - new symptom in month 6, it’s on and off but I’m calling it healed!

4. Itching - new symptom in month 5 and 6, on and off but I’m calling it!

 

Here is to month 7!!!!

 

 

Hi T2BH,  Thank you for your story!  could you share which genetic test you used?  I have been so eager to do such testing but don't know where to start is researching the best company to use.  Thanks in advance!

 

Starting month 9 off all meds and gaba supplements. The symptoms that stopped in month 8 are:

1. Crying spells

2. Suicide ideation

Im thankful most days I’m able to function, although I still need to take it easy. I’m also still careful of food sensitivities. I have less than a dozen symptoms left. Besides the Tinnitus all the others come and go now. Note I never had Tinnitus before this. It’s been a tough journey for a short term user, considering I was given these meds off-label, meaning I was given them for a condition not meant for these meds. In August I did lay a complaint against my GP with the medical association in my country. They assigned an investigator to my case and I just got confirmation that a date for a hearing will be set. I also contacted medical attorneys as I wanted to take legal action, after reviewing my case they said it will take long and cost me a lot of money. So I had to drop that. But I believe we all need to complain in any way we can.... I hope the hearing will at least find the GP negligent...

 

Lastly, Deanna, google DNA testing in your country and choose the health DNA testing option, not the ancestry option. It does cost a bit of money but I found it useful. You swab inside your cheeks and send the sample for testing. The results will show you which meds you are most likely to react negatively to as well as your gene makeup. I can help get your results translated if needed. One of the valuable info I got from the results was that I’m likely to get Tardive Dyskinesia... another reason to never take these harmful meds again. I did get a bit of that symptom in acute and I’m so glad it stopped. Unbelievable really... To all those still going through the worst of it, know it goes get better and symptoms start to wax and wane and disappear. It’s a long process but it will get better for you too... Keep the faith and hold on tight.

Congrats on your success!

 

I just wanted to comment on the GABA supplement. Everyone is different. Not everyone will want to experiment with things, which I think is very individual and understandable. I will say that I have taken GABA on and off through the process of recovery and have found that for me it was an essential element to the recovery of my gut. There is some debate whether GABA crosses the blood-brain barrier, but it definitely goes into the gut. I had chronic diarrhea and nausea as well as painful rectal spasms at night (a symptom of low gut GABA). Taking liquid GABA for me was a life saver in healing my gut. I did feel that it was somewhat calming, but may have been placebo. Otherwise, I didn't notice a benefit or detriment to my brain symptoms on days that I took it or didn't.

 

My choice to take supplements that effect GABA was based on my feeling about the science, though without any studies we are unfortunately all left to experiment and share stories. I suspect it will help some (like me), and not so much others (like you). I didn't want anything that would affect the receptor (like a benzo), but anything that can raise GABA seemed like a win (and natural ways are definitely best - sunshine, exercise, meditation, prayer, positive thinking, etc).

 

Anyway, I just wanted to mention this as another perspective.

Thanks fluffer, very interesting how we all react differently. Caution is key with everything during this process.

Hi All,

Been feeling low for a bit but I’m feeling better again and thought to update on this thread. Most of my symptoms have gone and a handful come and go now depending on stress, foods and exercise. If I keep these sensitivities under control, all symptoms remain gone besides Tinnitus. Sleep continues to improve like a yo-yo but overall way better. Looking back from the hell I experienced as a short term user, this is massive progress. I still need to keep reassuring myself that I’ll completely heal, so it’s work in progress but it’s sooo much better. I also started a new job a week ago and all’s okay. I’m still working from home which I believe helps with stress control and feel so happy the first week went okay with no flare ups. If you are at the beginning of this journey or feeling demotivated, know it does get better non-linearly and life becomes worth living again. Keep fighting...

T2BH

 

Glad you are on the mend, I wish you abundant healing

 

:smitten:

Glad to hear that you continue to heal, best of luck with your new job.

Thanks fluffer, I hope you are hanging in there and that it’s getting better for you... if not, it will...