Needing sleep advice

I’m looking for insights and recommendations. At this point I’m nearly 4 weeks along in the post-benzo struggle and insomnia/heart rate (mild tachycardia) spikes are my main issues - particularly at night. Last night I only managed 2 hrs of sleep and even that was terrible quality, since I woke frequently to a heart rate around 90-100 bpm.

In addition to the 300 mg of MD-approved Gabapentin, I took 3 mg of fast-dissolve melatonin earlier in the night (maybe 11 pm) because that what I’d taken during the previous 2 nights and found to be relatively helpful. Not so last night though. After taking my night meds (strattera 40 mg for ADHD and levocetirizine for allergies) at midnight, I killed all screens and read for an hour (War and Peace, great stuff), yet sleep-mode was evasive. When I finally decided to kill the lights and hit the guided meditation, my heart rate refused to settle - at all. Breathing exercises did little to help and even yawning would cause a brief 5-10 bpm jump. Other than eating a small bowl of cereal around midnight, I did the same things as the night before but with far less success. Couldn’t sleep until 3 am, woke up at 430 am with heart rate at 95 bpm, and only got back to sleep around 8 am - for 1.5 hrs.

Seems the melatonin isn’t consistently effective, which sucks since I took it for years (5-10 mg) and it helped a lot. I’ve tried Benadryl and unison recently (on different nights) but they both seemed to fuel the full-body hypnic jerks and adrenaline jolts which had been robbing me of sleep. I’ve been prescribed trazodone and [later] Doxepin but I really hate the feelings of dissociated alienation of the zombie-mode they’ve caused.

At this point, with 3 kids to homeschool and grad school assignments to tackle tomorrow, I’m not at all sure what to do tonight...I’m not sure what was keeping my heart rate from mellowing last night and I’m wary of trying the same things which clearly didn’t work, so I’m exhausted and at a loss. I really want to keep my w/d “clean” by avoiding the likes of trazodone but I’m wondering if I shouldn’t just say screw it and take the recommended 9-12 drops of liquid Doxepin to see if that does the job (my previous attempts with 3-6 drops caused more frustration than help). Shmoking a little greenery helps dull the anxiety but doesn’t help with sleep.

Any advice, recommendations, or anecdotes would be greatly appreciated!

I've found melatonin is most effective at lower doses, like 0.250 mg, a quarter of 1 mg tablet.

And this is what Dr. Stuart Shipko recommends with regards to supplements (he avoids prescribing drugs because their behaviour can be unpredictable during withdrawal).

Muscle tension/cramps can be relieved by chelated magnesium-calcium 1000 mg : 500mg (not to overdo it, magnesium is known to create setbacks).

Palpitations and cardiac awareness can be relieved by Coensime Q10 200 mg two to three times daily.

For insomnia and anxiety 1000 mg taurine on an empty stomach before bed.

Dr. Shipko reports some of his patients had luck with acupuncture.

Dr. Shipko also reports some of his patients had luck with placebo, like they pretend to take a pill, drink a glass of water and lie down waiting for it to start working (for some people it works, even though they are aware that it's placebo -- muscle memory is a weird thing, it would also explain setbacks caused by stress years after people completely healed).

Personally, I have tried hydroxyzine and found it useful for sleep, but from it I'm also spaced out for days, so now I avoid it.

I do feel for you with the added pressure of having to homeschool kids on top of anything else. I have been through what you are going through now (minus the homeschooling bit). Just don't be too confused by the random nature of sleepless nights. They are partially the result of fatigue reaching a point of being able to get a badly needed rescue sleep. I found (and still find) that melatonin works when you are most likely to sleep anyway. As to gabapentin, you might want to think twice about relying on that drug. I believe that it may work on GABA receptors and you don't want to mess with those while in withdrawal. My wife took if for a short while to help with sleep due to pain and when she stopped after only a few nights she found herself strangely wide awake all night long.

Even if you feel that you are not sleeping, I would advise staying in bed and resting as much as possible. It is close to a certainty that you will be getting micro sleeps that you are not aware of and they will go far in sustaining you through the next day. In all of my years of dealing with withdrawal insomnia and communicating with others in the same boat, I have yet to find any silver bullets to speed up the healing process. Positive thinking and time seems to help most. Anxiety over what you think you cannot do is what hurts the most.

IMO, as a survivor of a CT and having insomnia as my worst symptom among 15+ symptoms, I would avoid looking for something to help you sleep with.

I did the same thing too and tried everything Rx and OTC for sleep.

Your body will sleep on it's own given time

Micro sleep will sustain you

2 hours is better than zero or no perceived sleep

Most people take way too much melatonin and then it can have a paradoxical effect and actually keep you awake.  Your body makes mcg not mg of melatonin each night.  It's recommended to start with 0.3mg and go up from that dose.  Melatonin will only help you fall asleep, it won't keep you asleep

I tried pot a few times and it did nothing.  Neither did CBD oil

You don't need 8 hours per night or else.  Others will disagree, but I lived on 5-10 hours per WEEK for months

If you want to know why this is happening, it has to do with your down regulated GABA and the lack of balance with Glutamate.  Both are nervous system receptors.  GABA is your body's "brake pedal" or what slows things down and makes you calm and relaxed.  Glutamate is your body's "gas pedal" or what makes you active and alert or even fight or flight.  Normally the two are in a "balancing act" so one doesn't overtake the other.  But when your GABA is temporarily taken off line by the Benzo, Glutamate rules the day and night.  That's why you might feel wired all the time, have racing thoughts and are never sleepy.  It takes some time for your body to repair the temporary damage.  No one knows how long that will be.  But your body knows exactly how to repair the damage and put your GABA and Glutamate back into balance.  However, it is a very nonlinear process...UP and DOWN, one step forward, 2 steps back for some time for most.

I thought I had to reach for something Rx or OTC for sleep or I wouldn't get any.  Today, I sleep 6-8 hours every night!

You'll get there.  Time is the healer.  Acceptance, Distraction and gratitude go a long way towards helping you recover.

When you stop worrying if you sleep or not, it slowly comes back in fits and starts, like the stock market!

Hi  I did a fast taper off clonazapam

It’s been about 44 days. I have had

good nights and poor nights.

Last night was not great. I felt

like got no sleep. Sometimes

that is followed by a good night.

I been taking seroquel for sleep.

I can’t recommend it, it just what

I’ve been doing.