Relapsed today, considering rehab

Hey. So i've been tapering diazepam for 3 months, i'm down to 15mg a day. However, today was too much for me and i took 30mg all in all - i should've lowered my dose to 10mg a day a couple days ago, but i was too afraid to do it. I'm starting to think i can't handle the taper and withdrawal alone and i'm considering going to a rehab.

A friend of mine was addicted to benzos and this one place really helped him get on his feet, additionally it's completely free and they treat addictions and mental disorders such as anxiety, which would be perfect. Do you buddies think i should go through with it?

I'm sure changing my environment, having therapists and doctors around etc would help, i'm just afraid they'll make me taper too fast - 15mg diazepam a day is starting to become unbearable. What do you think?

I got nothing good to say about detox/rehab..   All the rules change once the door locks behind you, so to speak..  I guess there might be exceptions...

If you dont get the replies I hope you do, I would suggest doing a search for some older threads here, there were some detailed ones a few yrs ago I saw..  (I dont want to even think about my detox exp.. sorry)

A detox is usually an addiction model, and doesnt address the physical dependance that most here find is the base or real problem.. It seems most places get you off, and home, -just in time for WD to start for real (1-4weeks ish)..

 

I wonder, are you attempting 5mg cuts..?? /how often..??

-That would make medication intake control very hard for many of us here..

 

 

 

Rapid withdrawal is the biggest mistake i made i ct klonopin after 14 years you can be off the drug but it won't help you recover faster and i hope you won't suffer like me when you're off the benzo its only the beginning of a long process wich takes alot of time imo do a proper taper it will save you alot of grief in the future its not heroin 3 mounth your clean and your body recover benzo damege take Lot of time to heal especially for long term users

Good luck

speedwagon,

 

Going into treatment means you are giving up control of your withdrawl/taper.  That seemed unacceptable to me.  I could handle tapering alone but it was such a lonely road.  BB is great but I wanted to see and be with others in recovery.  I joined a 12 step group this spring and oh boy, the difference it made!  I now look forward to meetings and have a standing lunch group on Saturdays and coffee group on Wednesdays with my recovery friends.

 

Kate   

Opioid CT (Vicodin) was a peace of cake compared to my diazepam CT. I lasted 2 weeks and had to re-instate. I glad I did too. This is serious business and has to be tapered slowly

speedwagon,

 

Going into treatment means you are giving up control of your withdrawl/taper.  That seemed unacceptable to me.  I could handle tapering alone but it was such a lonely road.  BB is great but I wanted to see and be with others in recovery.  I joined a 12 step group this spring and oh boy, the difference it made!  I now look forward to meetings and have a standing lunch group on Saturdays and coffee group on Wednesdays with my recovery friends.

 

Kate   

Yeah, I shouldnt have lumped detox and rehab together as I did.. A good rehab/support setting can make a huge difference and mitigate “life losses”.. The more we can stay engaged in life, the better.. imo..

To be clear for everyone (the bane of my life atm), I was talking about the rapid detox and additional meds component or pathway..

 

Obviously with the 12 Steps or similar support, some people might have to give some concession to the addiction versus physical dependence models, but I imagine thats rather situational and personal..

 

 

 

Generally, benzos should be tapered slowly. If you have an addiction problem l suppose it could help and maybe they'd give you the tools you need to cope but if you taper too quickly, it may be intolerable for you. l recommend reading The Ashton manual. It's a free download. Dr Ashton has great advice about tapering off of benzos. What about following a slow taper plan but also joining a support group such as a 12 step program to help you?

I did a 5 day detox and did fine

But when I got home I found I

did not have enough coping skills

and I start to crave the drug

when stressful things happen

which is daily, because it is life.

Very timely to read this thread, as I talked with a rehab center today.  First questionable sign....they didn't want to answer questions about their methods, they wanted to set up an appt. to "assess" me.  They said they offer a week or so inpatient benzo "detox" then you can follow up in group therapy as an outpatient.  I pointed out benzo withdrawal is different than alcohol or opioid detox, it can't be accomplished in a week.  The person I talked with was only vaguely familiar with Ashton method, despite saying he's been doing this for 15 years.  It just didn't sound right to me, but I know of no other options locally.  Really kind of scary.

speedwagon,

 

Going into treatment means you are giving up control of your withdrawl/taper.  That seemed unacceptable to me.  I could handle tapering alone but it was such a lonely road.  BB is great but I wanted to see and be with others in recovery.  I joined a 12 step group this spring and oh boy, the difference it made!  I now look forward to meetings and have a standing lunch group on Saturdays and coffee group on Wednesdays with my recovery friends.

 

Kate   

 

Kate,

 

Are there 12 step groups for benzo withdrawal? I would be interested in that.  I thought all 12 step groups were for people who identified as addicts, which is a different thing than benzo dependency.  Curious.

 

Haimona

Very timely to read this thread, as I talked with a rehab center today.  First questionable sign....they didn't want to answer questions about their methods, they wanted to set up an appt. to "assess" me.  They said they offer a week or so inpatient benzo "detox" then you can follow up in group therapy as an outpatient.  I pointed out benzo withdrawal is different than alcohol or opioid detox, it can't be accomplished in a week.  The person I talked with was only vaguely familiar with Ashton method, despite saying he's been doing this for 15 years.  It just didn't sound right to me, but I know of no other options locally.  Really kind of scary.

 

I'm glad you saw the red flags Clearblue. Many (including me) take years to taper off this shit

speedwagon,

 

Going into treatment means you are giving up control of your withdrawl/taper.  That seemed unacceptable to me.  I could handle tapering alone but it was such a lonely road.  BB is great but I wanted to see and be with others in recovery.  I joined a 12 step group this spring and oh boy, the difference it made!  I now look forward to meetings and have a standing lunch group on Saturdays and coffee group on Wednesdays with my recovery friends.

 

Kate   

 

Kate,

 

Are there 12 step groups for benzo withdrawal? I would be interested in that.  I thought all 12 step groups were for people who identified as addicts, which is a different thing than benzo dependency.  Curious.

 

Haimona

 

Haimona,

 

I am not aware of 12 step meetings for benzo withdrawl.  You are correct that 12 step groups are for people who identify themselves as people with isms and/or those who identify themselves as addicts.

 

Kate

You say you were supposed to cut by 5mgs.

Is that how you have been cutting?

That os far too much and far too fast if it is.

No wonder you are finding it bad.

It is recommended nit to cut more that 5-10% of any current dose in faster than 10-14 days and some ppl find that too fast.

Ppl spend years tapering off.

speedwagon,

 

Going into treatment means you are giving up control of your withdrawl/taper.  That seemed unacceptable to me.  I could handle tapering alone but it was such a lonely road.  BB is great but I wanted to see and be with others in recovery.  I joined a 12 step group this spring and oh boy, the difference it made!  I now look forward to meetings and have a standing lunch group on Saturdays and coffee group on Wednesdays with my recovery friends.

 

Kate   

 

Kate,

 

Are there 12 step groups for benzo withdrawal? I would be interested in that.  I thought all 12 step groups were for people who identified as addicts, which is a different thing than benzo dependency.  Curious.

 

Haimona

 

Haimona,

 

I am not aware of 12 step meetings for benzo withdrawl.  You are correct that 12 step groups are for people who identify themselves as people with isms and/or those who identify themselves as addicts.

 

Kate

 

Thanks, Kate.  I would love to find a meeting for benzo withdrawal.  So far, this board is the closest thing and has been a huge help to me.

 

Haimona

I found an online benzo support group for anyone that is interested.  It can be anonymous.  I was wondering how to find a recovery group locally...haven't had any luck and don't know if AA or a 12-step program is appropriate, since I don't meet the definition of an addict. 

There's AA for alcoholism and NA for everything else. I haven't been to either myself but I have been in an addiction recovery program despite not meeting the definition of an addict. You may get something out of being in such an environment, especially if you're struggling with loneliness. Really though, it's not a great fit. I went during my taper and it was clear that I wasn't fighting the same battle as anybody else. It got awkward, to be honest. I found myself playing a character some of the time when I knew that I wouldn't be understood if I was more real.

 

Rehab is a really bad idea. It's understandable that some people feel an instinct to submit to the care of experts. Unless you're rich and can put a genuine expert on retainer for up to a couple of years, you don't have that option. Any clinic that tells you it can do it quicker is not being completely honest. They can withdraw you from the drug quickly and leave you with months/years of healing ahead of you. Desperate decisions tend to be bad decisions in benzo withdrawal, so I hope that you will keep your dose at 15mg for a few weeks, before deciding anything. You're much more likely to have success if you try reducing something like 1mg every 2 weeks from the dose you're at. I would like to see you try to get to 10mg using this method before trying anything more drastic. It's going to be a longer journey than you're probably bargaining for but it can be a lot more bearable than it has been.

 

I don't view you as having a big problem with addiction because you took an extra dose after going way too quickly. If you took 10 pills, I might see it differently, but it's really common to do what you did. If you can just get a start with your taper, you'll get a feel for what works best what doesn't and slowly, you will start to see progress. I'm sorry that there's no quick fix.

Hey. So i've been tapering diazepam for 3 months, i'm down to 15mg a day. However, today was too much for me and i took 30mg all in all - i should've lowered my dose to 10mg a day a couple days ago, but i was too afraid to do it. I'm starting to think i can't handle the taper and withdrawal alone and i'm considering going to a rehab.

A friend of mine was addicted to benzos and this one place really helped him get on his feet, additionally it's completely free and they treat addictions and mental disorders such as anxiety, which would be perfect. Do you buddies think i should go through with it?

I'm sure changing my environment, having therapists and doctors around etc would help, i'm just afraid they'll make me taper too fast - 15mg diazepam a day is starting to become unbearable. What do you think?

 

If you have gotten only mild withdrawals from valium cuts in the past, then maybe you should go for it. Rehabs have their place and I'm sure they will taper you there as well, albeit a quick taper.

edit: I removed the post because I made a mistake

speedwagon,

 

Going into treatment means you are giving up control of your withdrawl/taper.  That seemed unacceptable to me.  I could handle tapering alone but it was such a lonely road.  BB is great but I wanted to see and be with others in recovery.  I joined a 12 step group this spring and oh boy, the difference it made!  I now look forward to meetings and have a standing lunch group on Saturdays and coffee group on Wednesdays with my recovery friends.

 

Kate   

 

Kate;  Random question, can you attend a 12-step program if you are still tapering?  For some reason I thought you have to be completely free of your substance of choice.  The support sounds amazing.  Is it still going during covid even?

Thanks for your answers everybody, i appreciate it a lot<3! I haven't relapsed so far, on 12mg a day atm. Hurts like a motherlover, i constantly feel like i'm dying and all the good jazz y'all surely know, but it's bearable most of the time - i try to keep busy and workout a lot.

The first free rehab slot is in 2 months, so i'll taper slowly and see where things go from there. Another reason i'd like to go to this facility is they seem to have experience with benzo withdrawal and my life is pretty much on hold, apart from boxing and going to the gym. It's been this way for some time now and i feel like changing my environment and getting daily therapy might help, cause i was anxious and depressed before succumbing to benzos, not really a well functioning person. Got me some therapy, but it's only once a week, and i feel like nothing will change if i just sit here and suffer, you know?

The worst case scenario would be just leaving the rehab facility and tapering by myself, it's not like they lock you up there. So i think i'll give the facility a try, who knows, maybe it'll do me good. Again, thanks for all your replies. Also, a question - my psychiatrist insist on lowering the doses by 2-3mg per week, and according to the Ashton manual any my panic attacks, it's not that great of an idea. If i tapered 1mg a week i could be free of benzos in 12 weeks and possibly not suffer as much. Do you think i should go against his recommendation?

Thanks for your answers everybody, i appreciate it a lot<3! I haven't relapsed so far, on 12mg a day atm. Hurts like a motherlover, i constantly feel like i'm dying and all the good jazz y'all surely know, but it's bearable most of the time - i try to keep busy and workout a lot.

The first free rehab slot is in 2 months, so i'll taper slowly and see where things go from there. Another reason i'd like to go to this facility is they seem to have experience with benzo withdrawal and my life is pretty much on hold, apart from boxing and going to the gym. It's been this way for some time now and i feel like changing my environment and getting daily therapy might help, cause i was anxious and depressed before succumbing to benzos, not really a well functioning person. Got me some therapy, but it's only once a week, and i feel like nothing will change if i just sit here and suffer, you know?

The worst case scenario would be just leaving the rehab facility and tapering by myself, it's not like they lock you up there. So i think i'll give the facility a try, who knows, maybe it'll do me good. Again, thanks for all your replies. Also, a question - my psychiatrist insist on lowering the doses by 2-3mg per week, and according to the Ashton manual any my panic attacks, it's not that great of an idea. If i tapered 1mg a week i could be free of benzos in 12 weeks and possibly not suffer as much. Do you think i should go against his recommendation?

It's definitely worth a try if you think the change of scene will help. To be honest, you seem to be tapering very fast. Even 1 mg a week is a lot. Could the fast taper be causing a lot of your anxiety ? I have to go much slower than that. Doctors don't always understand this process. 😊

Yeah, i was alright on 20mg, 15mg was a punch in the gut, i went back to 14 and i decide and taper 1mg a week/two weeks if if the anxiety hits the roof. I'm semi fine during the day, but as i'm typing this i'm experiencing extreme air hunger and anxiety, i'm considering going back to 18mg and tapering from there. Change of scene will defenitely help, i'm just scared they'll make me taper too fast. And yeah, the taper is quick, however i've been on benzos for half a year, so maybe that's why my psychiatrist recommends that?