Reporting back

So this week I have been totally off Ativan for a little over 2 months, I finished tapering in mid-June 2020.

 

As of right now, I VERY SELDOM even think of my benzo experience.  Occasionally (once or twice a week) I may feel some symptom that could possibly be a left-over symptom (usually heart pounding / flopping / pumping.  I don't know the right word to describe it, but sensation of feeling your heart, which is not normal except after exertion.)  Really, that could be from something else.

 

I used Ativan about 3 years and 4 months, and that period included the 10 month tapering period. I was prescribed it for Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and it is effective because there are GABA receptors in the intestinal tract.  Then later I was prescribed it for sleep.  But it had a number of negative effects, but I did not recognize they were due to Ativan at the time.  I only saw that later through learning about it.

 

I started tapering in Sept 2019 and reduced 10% every two weeks.  I had symptoms throughout the tapering period, but they started to lighten noticeably about March 2020, and continued to lighten.  When I totally stopped (I was down to a tiny crumb of a pill and I was just so tired of messing with it), I had some light symptoms over the next month or so.  Mostly ear ringing and that odd feeling of vibration in my limbs, like all my molecules were vibrating.  But honestly now, I really have to look back at my posts over the past year, to even remember what all my symptoms were!

 

I feel FINE.  I feel normal.  Usually I sleep FINE.  That took a while, and I actually think my sleeping is still improving.  I also have some neck arthritis that gives me pain through the night, that I use Tylenol for, and so getting off the Ativan was not the only thing affecting my sleep.

 

The only thing I used during tapering was Tylenol.  The Tylenol was helpful when I was feeling very uncomfortable from various symptoms.  I can't take NSAIDS because it conflicts with my blood pressure medication.  Basically, you just have to power through the symptoms.  It was very helpful that I could tell myself "It is just a typical tapering symptom.  It will pass."  I didn't get all scared, wondering what the heck was the matter, what scary disease do I have now, which is half the problem when you feel awful.  I knew it was just tapering symptoms, and I often re-read the information in the manual, to reassure myself.

 

I will say, I had to change my mindset.  My old mindset was "I feel awful, I can't stand this, how can I feel better, Oh, I can take Ativan."  Once I started tapering, I didn't have that fallback.  I could only take my set dose each evening.  If I felt awful, I had to find other ways to get through it.  Walking around the yard (like a prisoner in the prison yard LOL) or around the living room if it was night-time, playing bananagrams with my sister (she was a GREAT help in the worst times), and hours of solitaire on my Kindle.  Telling myself it would pass, it was normal, it was my nervous system re-adjusting.

 

I think I am lucky with the timing, because I always feel worse during winter, and as I started getting down to very low doses, the weather was improving, spring and then summer always make me feel better anyway. 

 

At this point, I feel like the whole 3 years are IN THE PAST.  I don't think about it.  I don't think I have any residual effects.  I am 73, so I was a little worried about really recovering! 

 

My advice to anyone who uses benzodiazepines is, if you have to take it, take the lowest dose possible, for the shortest time possible, and start tapering right away!  Like after 2 weeks.  I had no idea how benzo's affect your entire system and the changes over time are NOT good.  You can find yourself dependent, but yet getting interdose withdrawal, so you aren't getting relief, but you are stuck on it.

 

My best wishes to anyone in the process of getting off benzos, and good luck, and stick to it, you will NOT regret it, it is totally worth it.

 

Hopeful Senior,

 

I am so glad to hear you are off Ativan and doing well.  Yes, life is good after benzos!

 

Kate   

Congratulations and thank you for coming back to offer encouragment!

Thanks for coming back to share  I love your story and happy that you are enjoying life

This gives me so much HOPE! Thank you... a great reminder about mindset to get through the uncomfortable  symptoms... wishing you continued healing, and praying I follow in your footsteps!! 

Congratulations!  Great to hear your success story and that you are feeling well.  Wishinf you great days ahead. 

I love hearing that you didn't have substantial symptoms when you jumped from the drug, this is always good to see and will give others hope for a smooth landing, thank you for writing your story!