Author Topic: Parenting in Recovery  (Read 3498 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Parenting in Recovery
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2020, 09:07:20 pm »


[...]: So nice that neighborhood friends have jumped in! What lifesaver. I to am struggling with going back to work and how. I don't really feel ready but am looking at part time (literally gave up my former job) as I know i will need to be at home to help navigate the kids. Our school has a hybrid option (for now) which we are doing. But one of my teens has a hard time with online instruction - just kind of needs that "in person" environment.
FYI...my husband and I are both born and raised Canadian..move to US 15 years ago for his career..we are now Americans. We live so close to the border yet have not been able to cross and see family in many months:(


Work is on my mind too... I am on a sick leave and will likely renew it. Iím in no shape to be leading a team right now!
I live a hop-skip away from the Washington state border... missing our camping trips up there and our ball game getaways in Seattle. Itís so hard for families with this border closure. Iím not sure which border crossing you live close to, but here, there is a park where people have been meeting from either sides of the border... I have friends that were finally able to see their parents. Very hard time....
Hope your wave passes swiftly!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parenting in Recovery
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2020, 07:29:07 pm »
Hey all how's it going? Those of you in the south already have kids in school and those in the north are getting ready.

challenges? Tips and tricks?

I realized something the other day...I must be presenting better to my kids (more stable/healthy?) bc they are starting to discuss last year a little bit here and there (I was a train wreck...). When people/kids feel safe again they feel they can open up about things and process it. Its just a statement, or a brief comment, nothing attacking or anything like that. Just matter of fact kind of stuff.

For example,..." Ya we somehow managed to do the laundry and dishes when you were gone last year (in hospital)."
or, " I made the best play in the game let year when you were away".(baseball)

To which I try not to cry (mom guilt), i answered, " Wow its great you guys found a way to make it work... sorry I know that was rough."...and
" Sorry I didn't get to see that game buddy - looking forward to seeing more plays like that".

Def using the therapist lingo there, but I had to find a way to acknowledge what they needed to express without me becoming a sobbing mess of guilt.
It so stupid how this makes us feel guilty like as if we had any choice in this!! If it was some other medical condition we prob wouldn't be beating ourselves up as bad.

Just my thoughts for today...hope you're all having a "window" day  :thumbsup:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parenting in Recovery
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2020, 08:17:34 pm »
My son started kindergarten via distance learning on Monday. Itís a headache. Iím also in a wave so thatís just icing on the cake. My son is so resistant to doing any of his ďhomeworkĒ and I have the hardest time getting him to stay sitting in front of the computer. On top of that his dad will be out of town all next week for work. Ugh.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parenting in Recovery
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2020, 07:12:35 pm »
[...]..
Sounds like you have your hands full! Little kids want to be kinetic and moving around - engaging with others..I can see why he doesn't want to be on the computer. Theres def going to be an adjustment period.
Like last night I kindly notified my teens that staying up till midnight is about to change next week and that were going to be getting up earlier  - so there goes my quiet mornings  :(
My 14 year old is pushing back bc I said he'd have limited game time on the computer since half their schooling is online this year (making sure he doesn't live on technology). There was an 'exchange of words" last night. ::)

And in the midst of all this we are managing our symptoms....

So we all take a deep cleansing breath..ahhhhh.....this too will pass:)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parenting in Recovery
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2020, 02:46:58 pm »
How are we doing parents/caregivers?
Ppl with kids back in school already how's it going?

Mine go back on the 10th of Sept. Trying to start the transition back to a normal sleep schedule and designating parts of the home for studying and online video conferencing for the days they are at home.
Warning: teens love to get chatty closer to midnight when you are super tired. this is also when they like to test boundaries.  :wacko:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parenting in Recovery
« Reply #15 on: August 28, 2020, 10:10:04 pm »
Hey Trina, Everyone.. :)

We are surviving here, -depends on the day..
He sure has the ignoring me down pat when he doesnt like something.. Then surprises me when im not expecting it..!! Lol

Good luck to everyone home schooling..!! -I know that one from living so remote some yrs ago..
I imagine its quite different with the internet available now...

:)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parenting in Recovery
« Reply #16 on: August 28, 2020, 11:19:23 pm »
My four kiddos are all homeschooling, and itís going pretty well so far. We were able to hire a tutor to help after two weeks of me doing it, and sheís been such a godsend. At first, I thought Iíd be fine to handle it myself, but Iím so glad now that we went ahead and brought her on. Sheís bonding beautifully with all of the kids, and I feel much better with her here. I didnít realize the stress I was under trying to juggle everything. ADDED BONUS, sheís a delightfully pleasant, easy person for me to have on good and not-so-good days in wd. She brought great comfort and companionship to me in my first real wave earlier this week. Iím so thankful, as that could have easily gone the other way.

Iím in the early days of being off of lorazepam, so I have some anxiety and fear of the unknown about whatís to come. I try every day to just soak up good moments and not get hung up on the hard ones.

Speaking of good moments, I enjoyed an especially precious one with my 4 year old a few days ago. She asked me to rock her and stroke her hair. While I was doing that, I sang to her a song I used to sing when she was tiny. Out of the blue, she started to cry. I asked her what was the matter and she told me she just ďmisses being my baby.Ē  :'( Then, I got to tell her all about how she will always be my baby, and Iíll be singing to her from now until forever.

Yíall, the last several months have just been so hard on me and my little family. I know you all understand. I did everything I could to stay engaged, but benzos have largely kept me out of the game. Itís been a balm to my heart to experience little tastes of normal...to be the mom I was before sometimes...to hold my littlest and not feel distracted or anxious or like I needed to retreat to my room. How grateful I am for these tiny glimpses!

May healing come to us all soon. ❤️

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parenting in Recovery
« Reply #17 on: August 28, 2020, 11:44:29 pm »
[...]: I hat when the do the ignoring their - its so passive -aggressive. I think I'd almost rather have an intense exchange of words!!

[...]: IAM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! Glad that you have help with the schooling, and that precious moment with your 4 yr old - melt my heart!
Hang on to the glimpses of normal!!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parenting in Recovery
« Reply #18 on: August 29, 2020, 12:13:18 am »
[...]: I hat when the do the ignoring their - its so passive -aggressive. I think I'd almost rather have an intense exchange of words!!

[...]: IAM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! Glad that you have help with the schooling, and that precious moment with your 4 yr old - melt my heart!
Hang on to the glimpses of normal!!
Agh, it just means I get MY words in without contest.. lol :(
-ineffective that they are... I guess he will be grown up once this phase is over..??!!
:)

[...].. -Thanks..
You bring back long lost memories...
You sound like your doing a great job of making the best of it despite all the challenges you no doubt have going on..
:)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parenting in Recovery
« Reply #19 on: August 29, 2020, 03:14:43 am »
Hi everyone, what a time to be parenting... and I’ve struggled with so much guilt during this taper. I have grieved the mom I was before all of this, and pray to be able to be as present as I once was. I was having a great window that allowed for a little getaway, and the kids were overjoyed that I felt like ‘mom’ again, able to swim and hang out with joy instead of this new worried presence.

I’m planning to homeschool, but waiting to hear about whether the district will allow for distanced learning to provide curriculum, or if I’m on my own. My 14 year is quite anxious about going back so I I’ve promised him I will keep him home no matter what. My younger son is far more social and confident, but has asthma, making me really want to keep him at home. I’ve been in a wave for a few days, making it harder to think clearly and not out of fear.

Trina, my 14 year old certainly tests me as well... the gaming is a sore spot in our house but it’s hard because talking to other parents, they are all struggling with the same with their boys. The good news is that the online gaming is highly social and he is still very connected. As long as he still gets out of the house each day, I’m laying off the nagging. I’m desperate for the peace and he knows this will all change in a couple of weeks.

Love reading all of your stories... take care
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.