1 year off

Today, I am 1 year off benzos.  I can't believe it's been a whole year.  I never thought I'd get off and I am so happy and grateful that I made it.  This is truly a war.

one year anniversary brings mixed feelings, as all milestones have for me during the taper.  Happy to have made it here, to be so much better off than I was before, to know healing has happened.  But also, I feel a bit dissappointed that I'm not better than I am, that there is still more to go and who knows how long that will be.  The unknown is still there.  I don't think about benzos so much anymore.  But I have been as I approach this one year off mark.  Some of the old feelings resurfaced - the anger and disbelief, the saddness and grief.  I'm not in touch with buddies as much and that is sad too bc they were true friends thru this ordeal.  But I am happy to be living more, enjoying my kids.  I still have sxs, not as many or as intense, but still there.  I can do so much more, but am still sensitive for sure to stimuli, physical activity, etc.  I can exercise so much more, but it's still trial and error.  I hope my nervous system calms down some more so I'm not so sensitive.  I don't expect 100% healing but I do hope it continues to get better.  I've always thought of 12-18 mo off as the golden zone.  so lets' see.

 

Thank you to this site and the buddies who helped me and to the buddies I don't know but who are fighting everyday.  You will get off. You will get better.  You will b/c that's just how it is.  It's a crazy long and painful road but you do reach the end. 

 

I hope to feel “healed” someday soon so I can write my success story - but until then, here's to continued healing for all of us!!!

Thanks for sharing.  Please do write a success story, they provide a lot of hope to people here.

Keep up the good fight libr and congrats on one year off!  And thanks for your advice and encouragement a few weeks ago!

 

All the best

libr,

 

One year is awseome ... way to go!  Thank you for sharing and giving encouragement to those still on the journey.

 

Kate 

Congratulations libr, on 1 year benzofree, that's amazing!    I was disappointed like you at 1 year off,  year 2 was better for me.  Stay strong and keep positive.

 

I am so happy that you are enjoying life with your kids.  I look forward to reading your success story in the future.

 

Magrita

Thank you all!

 

Magrita - thank you for your note - that really made my day and renews my hope.  It's amazing how just a few hopeful words can really make a difference in this!

 

Kate - thanks!

 

Spartan - advice anytime - I see you're doing quite well with your taper - you're almost there!

 

RShack - yes, will write the success story once I feel healed.

Congratulations on your one-year anniversary, libr. I’m sorry you’re still having some issues, but it’s clear you’ve made major progress!

 

Your willingness to share an honest appraisal of your current status at 12 months is greatly appreciated.  It is not uncommon to encounter members who express the belief that if they just taper the “right way,” they will have no/minimal issues during recovery. As you have so eloquently described, this may not be the case.

 

Your “golden zone” of 12 -18 months for recovery sounds realistic given what a member who has expertise in both medicine and pharmacology has shared.  His observation is that recovery can take 24 - 36 months for a significant number of individuals. He wisely adds the caveat that everyone is different—some individuals have the great good fortune to “heal better faster.” It is my sincere hope you are one of those individuals.

Thank you Libertas. I hope so too. Good to hear that recovery can be longer than I thought...  cuz I still freak out when I get sxs thinking I shouldn’t anymore. Harder to know what’s what once off.