Lost all my sleep

I give up, I lost all my sleep in month and a half off benzos, first I had an hour or two of fake sleep every few days, but now I’m awake for more than a week, I give up, my brain is sleeping while I’m awake I’m not feeling fully awake anymore I can’t put my brain to sleep because it is already sleeping while I’m awake there was no difference between sleep and being awake, but now I can’t fall asleep at all. I have severe cognitive impairment and long term and short term memory loss. How can it get worse everyday Instead of better? 😔

Unfortunately you have only been off 6 weeks...that's super early in the healing and recovery process.  Some people are in acute withdrawal for 12 weeks or longer?  It almost always gets worse before it gets better.  Sorry, wish I had better news, but that's the way it goes.  Your sleep will slowly come back given enough time.  No one knows how much time that will be.  It is what it is and it ends when it ends.

 

But you can control how you react to your symptoms and lack of sleep.  Since you have done this 9 or 10 times in the past, you shouldn't be surprised at how it works?  Hang in there...

The Way is right unfortunately  1.5 months is still really acute .  I tapered for 5 years and like some others ,thought that would be it but it was only the beginning . i am 19 . 5 months off now and I still fight with sleep . I had extreme crazy symptoms and 0 hour nights for months . You are sleeping in small sleeps that you cannot recognize . The insomnia is part of this experience . You are not alone , it helps me if I try TRY to stay calm when it happens to me now and know that I am not alone . It will ease up but it may be a few months.

I DO know what this is like , I get very bad off when this gets bad , sick , crying and much worse .  Just keep going .  You are going to have to change you r sleep habits also , I had to no longer have the TV on and  I have to sleep alone in a cool dark room and lay down very early  ,, lots of stuff  I had to change . Also NO stress if I get stressed now I wont sleep . Work to minimize your stress.

 

As far as memory loss I cannot remember much of the last decade but I dont care anymore , I had to adapt to go on .  I have even had therapy to remember how and what I ate .

I'm a little bit confused. Didn't you say doctors diagnosed you with fatal insomnia? Because I am not sure if you are saying it is benzo withdrawl for 6 weeks that's giving you the insomnia?

 

If the  FI diagnosis is wrong, then YES 6 weeks of acute hell WD insomnia is unfortunately normal for some of us. Mine was horrendous by 8 weeks and so many O nights, not gonna lie. And feels like every day is so incredibly LONG and my eyes hurt sooo bad, and vision was so bad. Felt like I was in a weird stupor and couldn't even talk right.

 

I was serious when I said your docs should give you a 24 hour Polysomnography. It can see your brain patterns and sleep cycles when you don't even know it. They did it to me to RULE OUT fatal insomnia. And sure enough, it was all drug induced insomnia.

Which of course in the long run...is good because that means it will get better!

It felt like I would not survive it, every minute and second....but some how we do. We choose to keep living and eating and drinking and surviving. I am 13 months off and sleep well majority of the time now.

You have had a lot of meds, I know. I did too. Maybe not as long as you, but definitely a lot. Keep going ok!!

Don't give up. Hope you have family that is helpful

I'm a little bit confused. Didn't you say doctors diagnosed you with fatal insomnia? Because I am not sure if you are saying it is benzo withdrawl for 6 weeks that's giving you the insomnia?

 

If the  FI diagnosis is wrong, then YES 6 weeks of acute hell WD insomnia is unfortunately normal for some of us. Mine was horrendous by 8 weeks and so many O nights, not gonna lie. And feels like every day is so incredibly LONG and my eyes hurt sooo bad, and vision was so bad. Felt like I was in a weird stupor and couldn't even talk right.

 

I was serious when I said your docs should give you a 24 hour Polysomnography. It can see your brain patterns and sleep cycles when you don't even know it. They did it to me to RULE OUT fatal insomnia. And sure enough, it was all drug induced insomnia.

Which of course in the long run...is good because that means it will get better!

It felt like I would not survive it, every minute and second....but some how we do. We choose to keep living and eating and drinking and surviving. I am 13 months off and sleep well majority of the time now.

You have had a lot of meds, I know. I did too. Maybe not as long as you, but definitely a lot. Keep going ok!!

Don't give up. Hope you have family that is helpful

 

They said it is possible because I have thalamic atrophy

Hmm.. well honestly I would demand more testing to see if you are getting any sleep cycles. Its not super comfortable to wear all those electrodes to your scalp for 24 hrs. But hey, it's nothing compared to WD, so I would ask for it. I was glad they did it for me.

I give up, I lost all my sleep in month and a half off benzos, first I had an hour or two of fake sleep every few days, but now I’m awake for more than a week, I give up, my brain is sleeping while I’m awake I’m not feeling fully awake anymore I can’t put my brain to sleep because it is already sleeping while I’m awake there was no difference between sleep and being awake, but now I can’t fall asleep at all. I have severe cognitive impairment and long term and short term memory loss. How can it get worse everyday Instead of better? 😔

Hugs please don't give up.

With badly disturbed sleep there is not a lot you can do but rest, when you can at first then gradually train yourself to sleep at night. You will not die.

Have you tried valerian, that is a knock-out herb. Trust me, I used to use it to put me to sleep after stimulants.