After nearly 12 years, I'm finally free...

I walked off from .10 mg of liquid diazepam on July 24th, 2020. It is very surreal. I'm experiencing a great deal of fatigue, insomnia, body aches, diarrhea, nausea, vertigo, disassociation, derealization, depersonalization, depression, anhedonia, intermittent emotional numbness, cognitive impairment, memory loss, fragile sense of self, general anxiety, increased symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder, general feelings of disorientation, nightmares, and more. That may sound like a lot, but it's better than some of the withdrawal symptoms I have experienced in the past (including psychosis )... *knock on wood*.

I'm having a difficult time coping with all of this. But I'm trying my best to take care of myself, as if I have a hangover or the flu. Plenty of rest, fluids, etc. When I'm awake, I try to stay busy. When there's nothing to do, I've been playing games with puzzles and problem solving. Sometimes I spend hours at a time playing scrabble, solving puzzles, etc. I'm trying to remind myself that the bad feelings (and at times, lack of feelings) are a symptom of neurogenesis. My mind and body are trying to heal; it will get worse before it can get better.

I wish everyone the best in their journey to recovery.

Hey Wassernixe,

A big congratulations on letting diazepam go from your life.  That is such an accomplishment!  That "surreal" feeling is pretty typical ... I had it for a week or two.  I just kept moving forward and it lifted and life just keeps getting better.

Kudos to you,

Kate 

congratulations! this is a big step.

You will begin healing soon.....hang tough.

J