Are we left with permanent terrible memories after revcery frm a protracted C/T?

I have so many symptoms that have not improved at all. I still have constant double vision, a HORRIBLE memory, no positive feelings, dizziness and difficulty sleeping that have been horrible since I C/T 37 months ago. Is it possible that I have a TBI and I will be left with permanent damage from this? Does anyone know of any stories of individuals with a similar timeline whose memory totally recovered? I really need to see some encouraging stories right now. Thanks for your time!

theres a somewhat recent success story of a member who was seemingly protracted but eventually healed. It was years, but he too had lost hope but stated he is now doing well.

theres a somewhat recent success story of a member who was seemingly protracted but eventually healed. It was years, but he too had lost hope but stated he is now doing well.

 

Can you connect me with this person’s success story?

I basically quit Wellbutrin around the same time I quit Suboxone in 2012. I never added it to my signature but I might some other time. Did a very fast taper to come off of it. It might as well been a CT but it's hard to remember. I really blamed all my WD on Suboxone at the time, but now, at this moment, am wondering what effect it had on me. Your symptoms seem very difficult to live with.

I would suggest checking out the Benzo Brains youtube channel for some encouragement form Jocelyn. She had been through almost every nightmare possible and she is doing very well now. Also, I watch The Lovely Grind videos from Michael Pribe. He is completely healed now and he did not have a perfect taper either.

 

I think most people do not have the ideal taper as it has been so hard to get information and support. Thankfully that is changing now.  I went through what I consider a cold turkey from kolonipin with a three months after taking it for a few years. Prior to that I was on xanex for a few. I think in total it was eight years. My memory is not the best either right now. Three months was ridiculous to taper that quickly but my doctor told me I was difficult and this was all in my head. She said I should be able to taper off in seven days. I was so sick in tolerance withdrawl I didn't have a clue what to do but I knew this was destroying my life and she was not helping. If it was up to my doctor she was content with keeping me on it for life. So I got a calender out and marked out three months. Scared out of my mind because I in so much agony and couldn't seem to be taken seriously I just did it. That lead me to as you know the hell that you couldn't have imagined but I somehow by a thread hung on and made it through. Looking back now at a year and a half ago when I took my last dose I can see the improvement I am making and I am healing. Not as fast as I would like but it's happening. I am functioning with symptoms but I feel more in control, slowly able to do more things , I actually do feel emotions like joy and gratitude sometimes and I was SO happy when I could finally cry again. I could not cry for so long. I am taking it one day at a time. I work full time and I am a single mom. We tend to be hard on ourselves because we so desperately want to feel normal and it's so painful and exhausting. We compare ourselves to how we used to be and we miss our true selves so much. We are grieving and hurting but I promise it does get better. You are still you. The benzo beast is going to be gone and you will be you again. Acceptance of where we are today and keeping hope for the future. Start to build your healing tools that work for you for when things get difficult. Faith. sleep. healthy eating. nature. light exercise, comfort movies. Things like that.

 

Hang in there. This will get better. The day will come when you won't remember the pain as much. You will feel like yourself a little more and the symptoms won't be able to overtake you. You will be so full of knowledge and strength that when symptoms start to sneak up on you, you will see and know what you need to do to work through it. Keep fighting and keep reaching out for help.

You are not alone.

Hellbutrin,

Unfortunately some of us just dont heal as fast. I was a very slow healer. Each year brought me a bit closer to feeling okay. Something I only realized in the past few years was that I, too, felt awful in my third year. But because I had lost many weird symptoms, I was starting to feel better, so I just ignored what other symptoms I still had. You know the old saying ":whatever gets you through the night?" That was what I felt. I hung on like a dog, determined to beat benzos. And I did  m even if it took a helluva lot longer than I hoped.

Maybe I am tired, but what is a TBI?

And hear I am. A woman who is 70 years old now, went CT off a boatload of benzos and ADs. And MY memory is pretty darn good. Perhaps even better, now that I dont have benzos numbing my poor brain.

east

 

Can you connect me with this person’s success story?

 

There is a list of protracted success stories on the protracted board, you just need to get access by modifying your profile if you haven't already.

I'm sorry about your doctor's astonishing ignorance. Tapering slowly would have been a better option by a long distance over staying on the benzos or withdrawing rapidly. It wasn't possible for you to know how wrong your doctor was. If you knew, you could have kept taking the prescription and done your own taper without telling her. I say this in sympathy because I believe you already know this. The anecdotal evidence points towards your doctor's actions exposing you to a deeper level of suffering but ultimately you will recover just the same.

 

I think the answer is contained within the question to be honest. You can safely assume that anybody considering themselves recovered is not suffering from terrible memories. A big part of recovery is being able to move on. I have noticed that in success stories, people overwhelmingly seem to be grateful for their health and philosophical about the past.

Hellbutrin,

Unfortunately some of us just dont heal as fast. I was a very slow healer. Each year brought me a bit closer to feeling okay. Something I only realized in the past few years was that I, too, felt awful in my third year. But because I had lost many weird symptoms, I was starting to feel better, so I just ignored what other symptoms I still had. You know the old saying ":whatever gets you through the night?" That was what I felt. I hung on like a dog, determined to beat benzos. And I did  m even if it took a helluva lot longer than I hoped.

Maybe I am tired, but what is a TBI?

And hear I am. A woman who is 70 years old now, went CT off a boatload of benzos and ADs. And MY memory is pretty darn good. Perhaps even better, now that I dont have benzos numbing my poor brain.

east

 

Hi EastCoast,

 

Lately I've latched onto my double vision as symptom that "proves" I will not heal. I know that rationally this is not a viable reason to say that I will not heal. But I've had constant double vision as a symptom ever since my C/T along with chronic dry eye, and I can't find anyone here that has double vision as a withdrawal symptom, so that makes me feel like maybe I have something else going on in addition to withdrawal, event though the double vision started when withdrawal did. A TBI is a traumatic brain injury. Thanks as usual for your unfailing positivity, it really does help.

Have you been checked for Graves eye disease?

How are you doing now ?