If I stay at 1mg clonazepam will my CNS ever stabilize?

I've been on and off benzos for 17 years. Come off 6 times during that time for various amounts of time so I'm kindled like crazy.  I'm 33.

In dec 2018 I started my 7th time tapering from 3mg clonazepam to 0.475 by dec 2019. I was so sick i folded (first time ever not getting fully off and went back up to 1.25 mg for some normalcy. I stayed here until may 2020.

During may 2020 to jun 2020 I drop to 1mg. I've been there since and plan to stay here as I think my brain needs this shit for life.

Problem is I'm still have bizzare problems. Vision stuff like blurry vision, sensitive to flashing lights, blood sugur changes, sensitive to any and all meds such as reactine even I took for a couple weeks recently due to allergies. I had to stop I was so sick.

I started a test with coffee having 1 cup a day that lasted a week and by the end of it I was a panicked mess with dizziness stomach issues ectera. When I was young I could handle 6-10 cups a day no issues.

So my dilemma. If I stay here at 1mg is it possible my CNS will adapt after however much time goes by? And I'll be able to use something as basic as reactine again?

Or is my only choice tapering for the 7th time and then waiting it out? Now is really not a good time to keep tapering as I'm caring for a sick spouse which is draining me beyond any and all energy and there is nothing left for myself. I have no help for her and this is how it has to be right now.

Thanks for any ideas/experience/advice.

When you put a drug like klonopin in your body, your body works pretty hard to try to restore itself to a non-drugged state.  So there's always this metabolic war going on in your body.  Unfortunately, the body adapts during this daily battle, so the circumstances slowly, but continuously change. 

So 'stable' probably doesn't mean what you want it to mean.  Stable probably means a continuation of slowly becoming more tolerant and more dependent on the drug until it loses it's therapeutic action and you find yourself in tolerance withdrawal.  It's why a lot of people start on 0.5 mg and end up on 4 mg after 20 years.  The blurry vision and light sensitivity you describe are typical of withdrawal.

So either you taper off slowly (and stay off) and learn to deal with the anxiety or you occasionally increase your dose to achieve a desired level of comfort.

When you put a drug like klonopin in your body, your body works pretty hard to try to restore itself to a non-drugged state.  So there's always this metabolic war going on in your body.  Unfortunately, the body adapts during this daily battle, so the circumstances slowly, but continuously change. 

 

So 'stable' probably doesn't mean what you want it to mean.  Stable probably means a continuation of slowly becoming more tolerant and more dependent on the drug until it loses it's therapeutic action and you find yourself in tolerance withdrawal.  It's why a lot of people start on 0.5 mg and end up on 4 mg after 20 years.  The blurry vision and light sensitivity you describe are typical of withdrawal.

 

So either you taper off slowly (and stay off) and learn to deal with the anxiety or you occasionally increase your dose to achieve a desired level of comfort.

Yeah your right. Realistically the only way is off. If I had a prescription pad after 17 of this battle I'd probably just write myself 100 mg of diazepam and be fine with it. I'm so tired. 16 to 33 that's more then half my life..

The only reason I kept going on then off was because aside from being mentally worse I've gotten physical issues that have disabled me from them.

I'm just going to keep tapering I guess. Thanks for the reply.