Need Support with my Unusual use of Valium.

This is my story of using Valium weekly for severe anxiety

 

Week commencing 24th December 2019

30mg over 3 days

 

Week commencing 30th December 2019

20mg over 2 days

 

Week commencing 6th January 2020

30mg over 3 days

 

Week commencing 13th January 2020

20mg over 2 days

 

Week commencing 20th January 2020

10mg over 1 day

 

Week commencing 27th January 2020

15mg over 2 days

 

Week commencing 3rd February 2020

20mg over 2 days

 

Week commencing 10th February 2020

15mg over 3 days

 

Week commencing 17th February 2020

5mg over 1 day

 

Week commencing 2nd March 2020

35mg over 4 days

 

Week commencing 9th March 2020

15mg over 3 days

 

Week commencing 16th March 2020

15mg over 2 days

 

Week commencing 30th March 2020

10mg over 2 days

 

Week commencing 6th April 2020

45mg over 6 days

 

Week commencing 13th April 2020

10mg over 2 days

 

Week commencing 20th April 2020

**None for 11 days

 

Week commencing 27th April 2020

35mg over 4 days

 

Week commencing 4th May 2020

35mg over 5 days

 

Week commencing 11th May 2020

20mg over 4 days

 

Week commencing 18th May 2020

35mg over 4 days

 

**This is when I started reducing:-

 

Week commencing 25th May 2020

20mg over 4 days

 

Week commencing 2nd June 2020

17mg over 4 days

 

Week commencing 9th June 2020

14mg over 3 days

 

Week commencing 15th June 2020

10.5mg over 3 days

 

Week commencing 22nd June 2020

7mg over 2 days.

 

So now I am a mess. I was crying all night, heart racing etc, terror like you wouldn’t believe

 

In total over the 6 months I have taken it for 71 days which is around 2.3 months.

 

I asked for advice today from a team I am under for anxiety and they said I have tapered too fast (even though I asked my Doctor) and they want me to stabilise on 2mg EVERY day for at least 2 weeks before I taper because I am having it so up and down.  With the amount I have taken, its averaging out, if I had taken it daily around 2.85mg a day.

 

Im so frightened and scared. I have a young daughter and I am a mess 😢

I totally agree that you really do need to get stable.  Actually, your dose isn't all that high.  If you feel the need to stabilize on 2.5 or 3 mg, then have that conversation with your doctor.  But then don't vary your daily dose for a while (at least two weeks).  If you're having a stressful day, you still only get your regular dose.  If you're having a good day, you still have to take your regular dose.

 

Scared and fear aren't going to help.  Don't invite them.  Instead, talk with a good therapist about developing coping skills so that you can deal with the stress without resorting to pills.  You're going to need those coping skills when you begin your taper.

You need to stop the merry-go-round . Remember valium has a long half-life so you're feeling the accumulation of the partial doses over time. Agree with everything Badsocref wrote especially stabilizing dose at around 2.5-3mg. Familiarize yourself with the Ashton Manual, it will explain a lot.

 

I write often about supplements that Ive found very helpful. Vitamin C and non-flush niacin are staples. They will help with the anxiety. You have to take enough to work. I used a scheduled dose at least x3/day with more if an "episode." Look up my other posts.

 

There's a proprietary blend called Relora that works well too. None of these cause any side effects for me and I'm drug sensitive.

 

You can do this, but you have to get a plan and stick to it. If you need to learn more about what to expect, go to the tapering boards. Holding at a dose is acceptable to stabilize. There will be ups and downs- expect it. But if you have tools to help, you can make it through easier. The forum is a wealth of free advice from all of us who have been there.

Thank you all for your support.

 

They want me to stabilise at a 2mg dose a day for the next two weeks.

 

But am I wrong in thinking that this is a backwards step taking it everyday when I have never taken it daily?

 

 

It might seem backwards, but it does make sense to take it every day to get stable.  At this point you most likely have developed a dependency and need to taper down slowly to minimize withdrawal symptoms. 

Ahhhh okay so im better having a consistent 2mg dose in my system rather than all the up and down dosing I have been doing?

Exactly.  So if you did not have a dependency, and the way to know that is if you just stopped taking them, you would have little or no problems, then this would not be an issue.  Unfortunately, it sounds like you are having withdrawal and issues, so getting to a stable about and tapering is best.  Hopefully, since you did not take them for a very long time overall, just a few months, you might have not too hard a time coming off them.  Which means, not that it won't feel awful, but it hopefully won't last too long. 

You've created a relationship between anxiety and popping pills.  That relationship needs to stop.  Getting stable and taking a consistent daily dose is the first step in that direction.  Then you get to learn to deal with bad days without increasing the drug load.

 

Personally, I wouldn't add anything new until you see how you do on a consistent dose for at least a couple of weeks. 

Thanks.

 

What do you mean anything new?

 

My psychiatrist wanted to do it like this

 

One week take 7mg

Then 6mg

Then 5mg

Then 4mg

Then 3mg

Then 2mg

Then 1mg

 

I understand I have had developed a relationship with taking one when I feel anxious. I have a severe anxiety disorder which I am having psychology for which developed after a trauma I had a few years ago.

I don't understand the taper?  You're thinking of taking 2-3 mg a day to get stable then move to 7 mg a week??  That would be a huge cut.

 

Instead of weekly amounts, let's do daily amounts.

 

Here's a model of the kind of taper that we generally espouse.  This is an example of a bi-weekly, 5% first-order taper.  Many other tapering rates and schedules are possible.  If you're tapering at some rate and it's too brutal, then slow down the tapering rate (and/or hold for a while).  If the taper is going easy-peasy, then you can accelerate the rate a bit.  The danger is usually in tapering too quickly as it often leads to up-dosing or reinstatements (we don't want that).

 

Week 1&2 - take 2.5 mg per day

Week 3&4 - take 2.37 mg per day  (5% reduction from 2.5)

Week 5&6 - take 2.26 mg per day  (5% reduction from 2.37)

Week 7&8 - take 2.15 mg per day  (5% reduction from 2.26)

eventually you get down near zero

 

The math to do these calculations is very simple, and you can weigh out the doses pretty easily with a $22 milligram balance.

 

By anything else, I meant that I would avoid adding any other medications or supplements until you see how you're doing on a stable amount of drug per day.

 

I do not mean to downplay the trauma that you developed or the reason for it.  I know this is difficult and can be confusing at first.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

 

But I dont know if I am working this out wrong or not but that means I will be tapering for over a year for something I only took for 26 weeks and not even everyday?

The actual rate at which you taper is yet to be determined.  Our guideline is to start with 5-10% cuts every week or two, but it's just a suggested rate.  You may find that you can taper faster than that.  You might be able to make 10% cuts every week, for example.  That's a 4x faster taper rate than the one I showed you.

 

Again, the key is to get stable and find a tapering rate that works for your specific situation.  Err on the side of caution until you see how it's going to go with you.