Dark thoughts and nightmares

I have had violent thoughts on and off throughout this despicable predicament I’m in.  I thought they were a thing of the past and I was afraid to even post on here that I was having them.  I had a nightmare that I punched the woman my ex husband is having a baby with.  I do not even know what the woman looks like.  This is just disgusting...I hate myself, this is not okay!!!  I want to be back to normal...this has been a very difficult week.  Does anyone have violent nightmares or thoughts?  I did a search and found a post but it was a long time ago...am I going insane?

You're not going insane. I haven't had violent thoughts, but I have negative thoughts when I'm in the throws of a wave. I know boomboxboy struggles with angry thoughts. Maybe will respond. Hang in there.

You are not alone Fiercelady.  I had similar.  Also disgusting harm to self stuff.  I no longer have these thoughts, but if they appear briefly am able to discard them without problem.  It will get better.  But I sure do know how disgusting and frightening it can be.  Ugh!

 

D x

Me. They're extremely violent and disturbing. My rage has also reached a new level.

Very common. I’ve had the same - very negative thoughts and disturbing nightmares. Not quite as bad at 27 months.

Very common. I’ve had the same - very negative thoughts and disturbing nightmares. Not quite as bad at 27 months.

 

 

I am feeling better now thank GOD...I keep praying Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy...this menstruation cycle has been disturbing to say the least.  Dr. Gray describes it as an emotional housekeeping or housecleaning——

 

I am exhausted today was hell on earth.  Thank goodness for evening windows to get a reprieve. 

 

Thanks for the support BBs.  ❤️

I have had violent thoughts on and off throughout this despicable predicament I’m in.  I thought they were a thing of the past and I was afraid to even post on here that I was having them.  I had a nightmare that I punched the woman my ex husband is having a baby with.  I do not even know what the woman looks like.  This is just disgusting...I hate myself, this is not okay!!!  I want to be back to normal...this has been a very difficult week.  Does anyone have violent nightmares or thoughts?  I did a search and found a post but it was a long time ago...am I going insane?

 

I don't see the problem here (in the nightmare part).

Being violent in your dreams doesn't mean you are a violent, disgusting person. It's a free zone where your subconscient can express your deepest feelings in order to find peace of mind when you wake up. Your brain needs to process some stuff when sleeping and sometimes it takes form of violent nightmares. In benzo withdrawal, you have to deal with tons of horrible feelings day after day, and your dreams are a good way to purge them, even if it's painful.

 

I would also like to punch to death my ex-new girlfriend he cheated with on me. Luckily, I was able to do this again and again in my dreams so I don't feel the urge to do it in waking time

 

Also, having violent thoughts when you are awake is totally normal (we have more when in benzo withdrawal for most of us). It's more a proof that you are a deely kind-hearted person, because your brain will shoot at you thoughts you don't agree. If you were a violent person, you wouldn't react with so much fear to these triggering thoughts.

 

It's like when you are waiting for a train, sometimes you might think "what would happen if I jump in front of it?". Normal people would just brush this thought away with no difficulty while thinking "that's so silly lol, let's take a look at my news feed now". People on benzos withdrawal will accord much more credit to these thoughts and will be devastated by each intrusive thought.

 

I read a few months ago somewhere that, in fact, being so distressed by violent thoughts is mostly the crux of perfectly nice people, because they have a very high value of morale.

 

BTW, feeling angry is totally fine and healthy. You need it to be whole human being

 

Maybe you should start meditation to learn how to just observe these thoughts without letting yourself drowned in it? Some anger management is always useful, but I think your main problem is really about you torturing yourself with your own thoughts because you give them too much credit?

I have had violent thoughts on and off throughout this despicable predicament I’m in.  I thought they were a thing of the past and I was afraid to even post on here that I was having them.  I had a nightmare that I punched the woman my ex husband is having a baby with.  I do not even know what the woman looks like.  This is just disgusting...I hate myself, this is not okay!!!  I want to be back to normal...this has been a very difficult week.  Does anyone have violent nightmares or thoughts?  I did a search and found a post but it was a long time ago...am I going insane?

 

I don't see the problem here (in the nightmare part).

Being violent in your dreams doesn't mean you are a violent, disgusting person. It's a free zone where your subconscient can express your deepest feelings in order to find peace of mind when you wake up. Your brain needs to process some stuff when sleeping and sometimes it takes form of violent nightmares. In benzo withdrawal, you have to deal with tons of horrible feelings day after day, and your dreams are a good way to purge them, even if it's painful.

 

I would also like to punch to death my ex-new girlfriend he cheated with on me. Luckily, I was able to do this again and again in my dreams so I don't feel the urge to do it in waking time

 

Also, having violent thoughts when you are awake is totally normal (we have more when in benzo withdrawal for most of us). It's more a proof that you are a deely kind-hearted person, because your brain will shoot at you thoughts you don't agree. If you were a violent person, you wouldn't react with so much fear to these triggering thoughts.

 

It's like when you are waiting for a train, sometimes you might think "what would happen if I jump in front of it?". Normal people would just brush this thought away with no difficulty while thinking "that's so silly lol, let's take a look at my news feed now". People on benzos withdrawal will accord much more credit to these thoughts and will be devastated by each intrusive thought.

 

I read a few months ago somewhere that, in fact, being so distressed by violent thoughts is mostly the crux of perfectly nice people, because they have a very high value of morale.

 

BTW, feeling angry is totally fine and healthy. You need it to be whole human being

 

Maybe you should start meditation to learn how to just observe these thoughts without letting yourself drowned in it? Some anger management is always useful, but I think your main problem is really about you torturing yourself with your own thoughts because you give them too much credit?

 

 

 

I think so much that my head feels tired.  I felt so itchy last night like worms under my skin.  I definitely Need to meditate more.  I’ve been doing some guided stuff and it helps calm the thoughts.  I cant Wrap my head around why my thoughts race...these gosh darn drugs really hurt me.  I feel like healing is around the corner...symptoms have been sooooooo bad something has to give.  I’m praying this is the worst of it, like has to get worse before it gets better.

I had very bad thoughts about my family during wd , I felt I was suffering because of their decisions and wished very bad thing about them . Now as I'm progressing towards normal me ,I don't think like that

This forum has made me feel so less alone. Like maybe I’m not going crazy after all.

Normal people have these thoughts. But normal people don’t obsess over them.

We obsess over every thought we’re having. Analyzing everything. Can’t let go.

Why? I wish I knew

This forum has made me feel so less alone. Like maybe I’m not going crazy after all.

Normal people have these thoughts. But normal people don’t obsess over them.

We obsess over every thought we’re having. Analyzing everything. Can’t let go.

Why? I wish I knew

 

Yes, definitely less alone.  The violent nightmares are so disturbing. 

I am being chased, mutilated and murdered in mine - think because in so much physical pain.

Had one where there was a hell hound with several rows of teeth raping a man in a dark street.

 

Or have dreams where am back with ex in 90s or making fantastic music & chatting to friends and then wake up crying because it is not real.