7 months off Klonopin after 11 years on and, oof...

Hello hello all, I'm 31 years old (female) and 7 months ago (11/17) I stopped taking Klonopin (2-3mg/day) after 11 years of daily use. I really wish I could say I feel great but the truth is that I feel like I am dying a slow death. I am legit paralyzed by fear and for some reason I developed pretty crippling social anxiety, largely in part to the fact that I moved back home with my parents, I have no job, I do not have a car, I'm not in a relationship, I don't have kids, and my soul purpose in life  is to wake up at 1pm and try to figure out what to watch on Netflix for the next 10 hours.

 

It's not that benzos don't work - they actually work too well - and I loved the feeling of being the seemingly "calm, cool and collected" person, even under pressure. But God forbid you end up a coulple short at the end of the month - oof - you know you're in for a few days of seizure Russian Roulette - where any trip from the bed to the bathroom, could possibly be your last.

 

I always hated thinking about what would happen if I was in a plane crash and I ended up on a desert island, but lost my bottle of pills during the wreck. Withdrawing from Klonopin could in theory, kill me before I had a chance to get rescued... crazy, right?!

So anyway, I'm looking for anyone who can shed some insight with me on how much longer this overwhelming and persistant feeling of being "on edge" could last. Personal stories, advice, anything you got I'd love to hear it. Thanks for reading and be well!

Hello BrookieBean88   Welcome to Benzobuddies

 

I am glad you joined the community, well done to you at 7 months benzo free.  You are right, benzos do work well to begin with, but then they turn very nasty on us!  I  hope it’s encouraging to learn  it’s not uncommon to be symptomatic this far out.  Recovery took a long time for me  so I know how difficult this process can be.  You have to keep holding on,  it’s tough and its painful, but you will see an end to this.  Try and  keep positive, don't lose heart,  find a way to get through each day until you make it….you will make it eventually, time is the healer. 

 

You will find some very valuable support and information on the forum.  I would suggest you read The Ashton Manual, It is a great resource for understanding the effect benzo’s have on our body. Please feel free to browse the boards and post questions to any of the dedicated threads.

 

Here are a few helpful links

 

The Ashton Manual. 

Post withdrawal recovery support.

 

Many of our members deal with anxiety and have found that benzos used long term actually create more anxiety. I know they definitely made mine worse.  I'll give you a link to the Anxiety board,  so you can connect with others who can offer some ideas and help.

 

Anxiety

 

If you would like to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) to help members give you relevant advice.  Go to the top of the page and select PROFILE then choose forum profile then insert drug history into the text box and remember to click change profile

 

Welcome aboard

Magrita

 

Thank you so much for the positivity and for writing such a detailed response. I was really touched by this - it can be so lonely in the benzo withdrawal isolation bubble so thank you for caring, much much appreciated!!

Thank you so much for the positivity and for writing such a detailed response. I was really touched by this - it can be so lonely in the benzo withdrawal isolation bubble so thank you for caring, much much appreciated!!

 

You are very welcome BrokieBean88.  I know only too well how lonely this journey can be.  Its difficult for others to understand what we go through, you have to experience it to know the horror of benzo withdrawal.  Just remember when times are hard, it will pass. Try and distract the best you can.

 

It does get better

 

Magrita

You seem like a trooper. Similar  situation  here love w my parents going to be  37. Here if you need to bend an ear. 

 

Kanoba

Live *****and I guess. Love too