Anyone kindled many times?

Im kindled 10 times, im totally damaged there isn’t drug that works for my sleep? Will I heal anyway? 

I believe you will heal.  Hang in there

Are you still tapering zyprexa?

I do still think you will get better with time! Just not sure if you are even done with meds yet?

Are you still tapering zyprexa?

I do still think you will get better with time! Just not sure if you are even done with meds yet?

 

I won’t be tapering other meds till I’m better from benzos.

Yes I was kindled twice, first time CT, 2nd time when on 1 mg it was so bad they moved me to 2 and then 3 , it was so worse that i decided to CT again. I felt the CT torture would be less compared to being kindled.

I was mostly healed then took a job that tortured me and created a wave. I took benzos a second time for around a year. I CTd them. Now my life is completely destroyed. I haven’t slept in 27 months.

I dint kindle with benzos but with alcohol and supplements. Almost every time I had a beer or tired taking magnesium again I Became permanently worse and I was sent back to acute. That’s happen prolly 7 times because I dint know what the f I was doing. I just thought I was having waves becouse the effects we’re not immediately clear but now in Hindsight and in this ill condition I can see that it was almost like reinstating over and over.

I drank too,  a couple of times right after my CT.  I had no idea.  But then I had no clue about these drugs and didn't know I was in WD.  Thankfully I wasn't real far out yet and count my CT AFTER the second (and last time) I had wine.  Yes, it's a BIG no-no.

 

 

I dint kindle with benzos but with alcohol and supplements. Almost every time I had a beer or tired taking magnesium again I Became permanently worse and I was sent back to acute. That’s happen prolly 7 times because I dint know what the f I was doing. I just thought I was having waves becouse the effects we’re not immediately clear but now in Hindsight and in this ill condition I can see that it was almost like reinstating over and over.

 

 

I dint kindle with benzos but with alcohol and supplements. Almost every time I had a beer or tired taking magnesium again I Became permanently worse and I was sent back to acute. That’s happen prolly 7 times because I dint know what the f I was doing. I just thought I was having waves becouse the effects we’re not immediately clear but now in Hindsight and in this ill condition I can see that it was almost like reinstating over and over.

 

I dint kindle with benzos but with alcohol and supplements. Almost every time I had a beer or tired taking magnesium again I Became permanently worse and I was sent back to acute. That’s happen prolly 7 times because I dint know what the f I was doing. I just thought I was having waves becouse the effects we’re not immediately clear but now in Hindsight and in this ill condition I can see that it was almost like reinstating over and over.

 

Ow no that does not sound good. I am damaged badly but still hoping to heal I gave to taper clonazepam though now I’m in tolerance o top of withdrawals from 4 too fast tapers all in 3 months the medications really have destroyed me mentally and I suffer inhumane excruciating pain and am bedridden. It is unbelievable that know one will acknowledge I have been damaged. I take magnesium loipic acid fish oil and a multivitamin everyday I think I better stop taking the magnesium then do you think? I never knew I was told it was good to take also my other supplements I am taking the loipic acid and multivitamin do you think I should stop taking too? I had thought the magnesium and loipic acid was good to take it is recommended in the lyrica support group on Facebook.

yes, 5 times.

i was almost healed from a very slow taper and had a setback where i had to take rescue doses over 2 days 3 months ago. now i am kindled.

i have terrible symptoms.

Idk if it prevents long term healing. For me it always made some symptoms worse while on. If it helps you then that’s up to you. All I do know is that if you decide to stop using it, you should taper off, it’s the coming off that can be the real issue.

I lost track of how many times I started & stopped taking benzo’s. Started taking Xanax in 2011 until 2012. Had tons of symptoms for about a year after but didn’t realize it was attributed to benzo’s. Was ok & pretty much healed for a couple years (2014-16). Stress & anxiety made me decide to start taking Xanax again end of 2015 beginning 2016. Worked the first 6/7 month’s But started developing severe stomach issues. I would take for few month’s, stop for a month, get symptoms, start taking them again to function never knowing you’re not supposed to. Continued to get worse over the next 2/3 year’s convinced I was dying. Finally got to a point where  anything I would take would send me into a excruciating wave. I couldn’t tell what was causing what anymore so out of fear of getting worse I CT’d of 4 mg of Xanax after year’s of use & abuse. Lost 32 lbs in the following month & had to drink ensure for 2 month’s. Daily panic attacks for month’s. No sleep for days at a time for month’s. Bed bound for a couple month’s on top of every symptom there is.  I’ll be 24 month’s benzo free this December & most days feel 98/99%. Yes, I still have quite a few symptoms but I feel like myself more than ever & have no doubt that I’ll fully recover. I didn’t think I would for a longgg time tho. I do believe I will now, it’s just an extremely difficult & grueling healing process.

I lost track of how many times I started & stopped taking benzo’s. Started taking Xanax in 2011 until 2012. Had tons of symptoms for about a year after but didn’t realize it was attributed to benzo’s. Was ok & pretty much healed for a couple years (2014-16). Stress & anxiety made me decide to start taking Xanax again end of 2015 beginning 2016. Worked the first 6/7 month’s But started developing severe stomach issues. I would take for few month’s, stop for a month, get symptoms, start taking them again to function never knowing you’re not supposed to. Continued to get worse over the next 2/3 year’s convinced I was dying. Finally got to a point where  anything I would take would send me into a excruciating wave. I couldn’t tell what was causing what anymore so out of fear of getting worse I CT’d of 4 mg of Xanax after year’s of use & abuse. Lost 32 lbs in the following month & had to drink ensure for 2 month’s. Daily panic attacks for month’s. No sleep for days at a time for month’s. Bed bound for a couple month’s on top of every symptom there is.  I’ll be 24 month’s benzo free this December & most days feel 98/99%. Yes, I still have quite a few symptoms but I feel like myself more than ever & have no doubt that I’ll fully recover. I didn’t think I would for a longgg time tho. I do believe I will now, it’s just an extremely difficult & grueling healing process.

 

Even though you healed in 24 and I’m still sick at 28 months, your post gives me hope that one can heal after kindling. I beat myself up almost daily for taking benzos a second time after being healed. Thank you for your post.

I say I have kindled three times, but I wonder if I kindled every time I ran out of benzos and couldn't get more until the next refill. So if that is the case, then I kindled like 10 times.

I lost track of how many times I started & stopped taking benzo’s. Started taking Xanax in 2011 until 2012. Had tons of symptoms for about a year after but didn’t realize it was attributed to benzo’s. Was ok & pretty much healed for a couple years (2014-16). Stress & anxiety made me decide to start taking Xanax again end of 2015 beginning 2016. Worked the first 6/7 month’s But started developing severe stomach issues. I would take for few month’s, stop for a month, get symptoms, start taking them again to function never knowing you’re not supposed to. Continued to get worse over the next 2/3 year’s convinced I was dying. Finally got to a point where  anything I would take would send me into a excruciating wave. I couldn’t tell what was causing what anymore so out of fear of getting worse I CT’d of 4 mg of Xanax after year’s of use & abuse. Lost 32 lbs in the following month & had to drink ensure for 2 month’s. Daily panic attacks for month’s. No sleep for days at a time for month’s. Bed bound for a couple month’s on top of every symptom there is.  I’ll be 24 month’s benzo free this December & most days feel 98/99%. Yes, I still have quite a few symptoms but I feel like myself more than ever & have no doubt that I’ll fully recover. I didn’t think I would for a longgg time tho. I do believe I will now, it’s just an extremely difficult & grueling healing process.

 

Your post sounds a lot like my experience. Can you elaborate on your stomach issues? My symptoms always start with DR, then excruciating stomach pain, and then the other symptoms follow. I can't seem to find anyone who has had the stomach issues I have had.

I lost track of how many times I started & stopped taking benzo’s. Started taking Xanax in 2011 until 2012. Had tons of symptoms for about a year after but didn’t realize it was attributed to benzo’s. Was ok & pretty much healed for a couple years (2014-16). Stress & anxiety made me decide to start taking Xanax again end of 2015 beginning 2016. Worked the first 6/7 month’s But started developing severe stomach issues. I would take for few month’s, stop for a month, get symptoms, start taking them again to function never knowing you’re not supposed to. Continued to get worse over the next 2/3 year’s convinced I was dying. Finally got to a point where  anything I would take would send me into a excruciating wave. I couldn’t tell what was causing what anymore so out of fear of getting worse I CT’d of 4 mg of Xanax after year’s of use & abuse. Lost 32 lbs in the following month & had to drink ensure for 2 month’s. Daily panic attacks for month’s. No sleep for days at a time for month’s. Bed bound for a couple month’s on top of every symptom there is.  I’ll be 24 month’s benzo free this December & most days feel 98/99%. Yes, I still have quite a few symptoms but I feel like myself more than ever & have no doubt that I’ll fully recover. I didn’t think I would for a longgg time tho. I do believe I will now, it’s just an extremely difficult & grueling healing process.

 

Even though you healed in 24 and I’m still sick at 28 months, your post gives me hope that one can heal after kindling. I beat myself up almost daily for taking benzos a second time after being healed. Thank you for your post.

 

Well, not at 24 month’s yet. Will b in December. And although I’m feeling much much better, definitely not healed completely. But I believe that I will bc I continue to see improvements over time. A lot of the stuff I dealt with my first year is gone & hasn’t come back. I haven’t had any severe DP/DR in idk how long. But I still deal with a lot of physical symptoms. But regardless of how bad it may seem, it can always get better. I had thought for months & month’s I was permanently damaged. And yet here I am, working, exercising, socializing. All things I didn’t think I’d b able to do again. Are things like they were before benzo’s? No, but it’s nothing compared to how bad I was while on them & the month’s following my CT. Just hang in there. Find those things that give u relief & hold on to them.

I lost track of how many times I started & stopped taking benzo’s. Started taking Xanax in 2011 until 2012. Had tons of symptoms for about a year after but didn’t realize it was attributed to benzo’s. Was ok & pretty much healed for a couple years (2014-16). Stress & anxiety made me decide to start taking Xanax again end of 2015 beginning 2016. Worked the first 6/7 month’s But started developing severe stomach issues. I would take for few month’s, stop for a month, get symptoms, start taking them again to function never knowing you’re not supposed to. Continued to get worse over the next 2/3 year’s convinced I was dying. Finally got to a point where  anything I would take would send me into a excruciating wave. I couldn’t tell what was causing what anymore so out of fear of getting worse I CT’d of 4 mg of Xanax after year’s of use & abuse. Lost 32 lbs in the following month & had to drink ensure for 2 month’s. Daily panic attacks for month’s. No sleep for days at a time for month’s. Bed bound for a couple month’s on top of every symptom there is.  I’ll be 24 month’s benzo free this December & most days feel 98/99%. Yes, I still have quite a few symptoms but I feel like myself more than ever & have no doubt that I’ll fully recover. I didn’t think I would for a longgg time tho. I do believe I will now, it’s just an extremely difficult & grueling healing process.

 

Your post sounds a lot like my experience. Can you elaborate on your stomach issues? My symptoms always start with DR, then excruciating stomach pain, and then the other symptoms follow. I can't seem to find anyone who has had the stomach issues I have had.

 

It all begin with an uncomfortable tightness/dullness/pain & progresses into sharp electrical stabbing sensations that would travel all the way up the left side of my chest, armpit, neck, jaw, & even into my face. Felt like the blood supply to my digestive tract was being cut off. Over a year I had a gastric emptying study, multiple ultrasounds, CT with & without contrast, & finally a colonoscopy which all showed nothing. But my stomach symptoms would go away after I would take Xanax, or at least at first. After awhile it wouldn’t completely get rid of them & I started developing a whole other array of symptoms. But look, it was just the benzo’s. I’m at 20 month’s now & can eat & drink whatever I want (minus alcohol, I don’t wanna risk damaging myself further). These medications r insane. If you’ve had all the other tests to rule out anything serious then I would chalk it up to the benzo’s. Hope this can help, all the best

I just jumped after a long taper, on July 5th. Had a couple of medical problems

And was triggered l. The symptoms were so bad, 2 days ago I decided to reinstate. Now

I feel even worse. I don’t know what to do. Wish I never reinstated.