Author Topic: Negative things from past keep popping up  (Read 2853 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Negative things from past keep popping up
« Reply #10 on: July 03, 2020, 12:17:15 am »
Wow,I just read this. I have been going through this too. It's awful. It's so hard to distinguish what we should worry about..
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[Buddie]

Re: Negative things from past keep popping up
« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2020, 06:28:33 pm »
I have been teased and kind of bullied in the past but was able to roll through. Now that I amin severe withdrawl I'm remembering these experiences and now it's effecting me . I feel so depressed and down and the anxiety is unbearable. Why is this stuff effecting me years later? I have so much anger towards these people as well . I might just delete social media so I don't see certain people and remember I guess... Is this part of withdraewl remembering negative things in the past? Does it go away? Thanks

I deleted social media for that exact same reason..... what you are describing has happened to me exactly...I am trying to let go because I noticed those negative emotions affect my body healing

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Negative things from past keep popping up
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2020, 01:51:37 pm »
Wow,I just read this. I have been going through this too. It's awful. It's so hard to distinguish what we should worry about..
If in doubt, don't worry.  ;)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Negative things from past keep popping up
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2021, 07:49:44 pm »
I have been teased and kind of bullied in the past but was able to roll through. Now that I amin severe withdrawl I'm remembering these experiences and now it's effecting me . I feel so depressed and down and the anxiety is unbearable. Why is this stuff effecting me years later? I have so much anger towards these people as well . I might just delete social media so I don't see certain people and remember I guess... Is this part of withdraewl remembering negative things in the past? Does it go away? Thanks

I too, since withdrawals, have become captive to the negative side of the past and feel personally affected by it. I obsess over those violations of my rights and personal boundaries. Itís brought fear, anger, insecurity, guilt up to the surface. Itís as if these occurrences are fresh assaults, over and over. There is a sense of torment on the back of my mind that I cannot get shed of. I thought I knew what depression was, but I underestimated my capacity to experience the depth, intensity and scope of it. But I suspect this is all to do with Benzos. I do hope this is true.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Negative things from past keep popping up
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2021, 11:06:40 pm »
I have been teased and kind of bullied in the past but was able to roll through. Now that I amin severe withdrawl I'm remembering these experiences and now it's effecting me . I feel so depressed and down and the anxiety is unbearable. Why is this stuff effecting me years later? I have so much anger towards these people as well . I might just delete social media so I don't see certain people and remember I guess... Is this part of withdraewl remembering negative things in the past? Does it go away? Thanks

I too, since withdrawals, have become captive to the negative side of the past and feel personally affected by it. I obsess over those violations of my rights and personal boundaries. Itís brought fear, anger, insecurity, guilt up to the surface. Itís as if these occurrences are fresh assaults, over and over. There is a sense of torment on the back of my mind that I cannot get shed of. I thought I knew what depression was, but I underestimated my capacity to experience the depth, intensity and scope of it. But I suspect this is all to do with Benzos. I do hope this is true.
I think our mind and bodies are going through so much that it's like a "purging" state. It's good to be aware of things and people that damaged us emotionally so we can get "rid" of them 100%. I am working currently on this, and to be honest I am a bit isolated, also because of the pandemic, but it feels great to be honest. I am working on myself and getting to know me better.

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Negative things from past keep popping up
« Reply #15 on: January 27, 2021, 09:53:21 pm »
I just read this again. I too was feeling like is this delayed ptsd. Then I thought, because I am neurotic more so than before, that for the rest of my life traumas will be popping up. It freaked me out. So I feel like I have to figure out all these memories and pop up thoughts out so I can resolve it. I know you just have to let it go, it hard. I was doing self compassion, that was hard, because im my own worst enemy. But, have not been beating myself up like I used to, even before wd. That was a tough one to conquer.  I hope it doesn't come back. I figure going through this alone is bad enough and we shouldn't be  eating ourselves up. Anyway, im just rambling. I hope I d8dnt trigger anyone. Im sure most ppl don't think crazy the way i do. I just hope this anxiety gets better. We will all get better, im sure of it. One day at a time, everyday we are healed more than the day before even if it doesn't feel that way. By the way I sound,  im sure you all are thinking,  she got a long way too go,  :o
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[Buddie]

Re: Negative things from past keep popping up
« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2021, 09:53:51 pm »
Thanks [...] for your reply!
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[Buddie]

Re: Negative things from past keep popping up
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2021, 09:32:01 pm »
Hereís my theory on this, which has absolutely no scientific basis at all, but I was trying to explain this to a friend the other day;

I think a lot of these distant, bad memories, could be my mind trying to equate the trauma Iím currently experiencing with memories of a previous trauma, in an attempt to remember how to heal. I started thinking this after having a few memories of a previous cold turkey from 4 years ago, I began to remember several unpleasant feelings/situations from that withdrawal period, the fact I was remembering things about this withdrawal that Iíd not thought about since the event made me think my brain was trying to remember how I recovered the last time, it calmed me in a way to think that I have felt bad from this before and I did recover, although Iíve felt several magnitudes worse than back then and for a significantly longer period of time, it helped nonetheless.

Another random memory I had was of hitting my head when I was a child, I must have been 9 years old and I slipped and hit my head on a tiled bathroom floor and had an egg shaped lump, this is something I really havenít thought about for years, itís a really unpleasant memory when I think about it, I was sickeningly terrified, could that be my brain remembering a previous head trauma as it tries to find pathways that itís gone down before while trying to heal?

There are countless other memories that often seem to be previous times Iíve felt bad anxiety too.

The nightmares/intense dreams seem completely unrelated to this theory, theyíre as random as any other nightmare/vivid dream that Iíve experienced pre-withdrawal.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2021, 09:39:51 pm by [Buddie] »
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[Buddie]

Re: Negative things from past keep popping up
« Reply #18 on: May 11, 2021, 11:44:52 pm »
I've been struggling terribly with this. I don't think it's specific to benzo withdrawal as I've been having it worse with antipsychotic withdrawal. It has had really bad repercussions for me, because I had tapered to a negligible dose and was
having bad flashbacks of past (family) traumas, but basically coping, when my father suddenly died and my support was removed, adding new trauma to the fresh trauma. The doctor who was supposed to be overseeing my medication withdrawal totally let me down and I've been left floundering since then, doubting myself as well.

But the original traumas that were surfacing took place over 20 years ago, they were well in the past. I never had a diagnosis of PTSD - and looking closely I don't meet the criteria now either, but it's been really deceptive. I've felt very isolated about this because people are very willing to believe trauma stories, and dismiss medication withdrawal.

However, I remember similar intrusive thoughts when going through benzo withdrawal. I don't know the exact explanation, it may be that when your brain feels out of control , it rationalises by dragging up every bad experience you had.




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[Buddie]

Re: Negative things from past keep popping up
« Reply #19 on: May 12, 2021, 06:04:27 am »
The nightmares/intense dreams seem completely unrelated to this theory, theyíre as random as any other nightmare/vivid dream that Iíve experienced pre-withdrawal.

In my case it's just the opposite. I have A LOT of nightmares of my parents abusing me. Every single night.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.