Two Year Updated - LeslieJ

It has been 2 years since I completed a very stupid 8 day detox from 1 mg of Klonopin after being prescribed it daily for 3 ½ years.  This daily prescription was a result of using Ativan as needed for over 10 years and I was experiencing interdose withdrawals… I did not know this or even what a “Benzo” was and have since learned MANY of my physical and mental symptoms that I have struggled with were all related to these medications.

 

My story has been published and is in other threads but I wanted this update to be about my recovery.  I actually said/wrote the words that if I was not able to return to drinking socially and playing competitive tennis that I would end things.  That was my Benzo brain in withdrawals.  I still can not drink and although I am getting close, I am unable to play recreational tennis.  But PLEASE read on…..

I am so grateful for my life and anything that I can do.  Today I went to a work-out with a personal trainer, am going grocery shopping soon and slept last night without that awful cortisol rush waking me.  Am I healed? I don’t care.  I feel great even though I have lingering nerve pain, need to rest between activities, definitely remain vigilant about outside stress and need to be careful to not eat packaged foods.

 

When I was bed ridden for 6 weeks and then unable to care for myself until 3 months and then had major waves, I used Benzo Buddies as a life line.  As I slowly recovered by using mindful activities and active resting, I put a ton of effort into supporting others on this forum.  My Aunt, an occupational therapist, was instrumental in determining that I had a brain injury and helped me to accept the process of healing so I wanted to help others.  I did.  I made many good friends on here.

 

Then I stepped across the line by putting together a PSA (Public Service Announcement) that a member requested and I wanted Benzo Buddies to endorse it.  That is not what this forum is for….  We are all have our anecdotal stories but without the proper research and diagnostics that don’t even exist today - we can’t prove that we have been damaged by these drugs.  Even though we have.

That was the reason why I started a new chapter in my recovery and have been actively involved in other Benzo communities that are supporting such research.  Having said that, everything that is posted on here is being used for the greater good in establishing that there are many victims of Benzo prescriptions by each member contributing.  Please keep it up knowing that there has been and continues to be progress on this front.

 

In closing, I am super inspired by one of our members who has gone on to make an almost full recovery after three (3) years and wrote an email to her following that included this statement.  “Every day we are off these meds, we are healing.  The timetable is different for everyone.  But the truth is that we all come out of this reborn as stronger individuals for having this experience”.  I believe this 100%.

 

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Congratulations on your recovery and healing. Thank you for posting it here and offering all of us hope.

Congratulations, Leslie.  I have been benzo free for 23 months.  I really do think these drugs cause brain injury.  I also had a chronic cough that was misdiagnosed as asthma. I still have "benzo belly".  Check out the Benzodiazepine Information Coalition if you haven't yet. They are sponsoring viewing of a special movie on psych drugs on World Benzodiazepine Awareness Day on July 11.  Good luck in your future endeavors!

Congrats. How can I get involved in the research you mention?

Love this Leslie. thank you. 

Thank you for the positive support and pm’s. I can not however respond to any personal messages and have been reprimanded AGAIN ( yes piano girl - I am shouting) for the last time.  I am easy to find but since Benzo Buddies is obsessed with keeping personal information off the forum ..  you will have to do some research.  To answer 88Keys here..  there are 3 (much better) websites that I can direct you to but the moderators will probably edit my post again.  BenzoFree.org.  Benzo Coalition.  Mad in America.

 

I wish everyone the best - and know that you WILL survive.  Take care.

 

My account will be deleted later today. 

Thank you for sharing news of your recovery and all the other things you are doing to contribute to benzodiazepine awareness!

It would be great to find you on another site, not sure how to do that.

Either way, all the best to you!

Thank you for the positive support and pm’s. I can not however respond to any personal messages and have been reprimanded AGAIN ( yes piano girl - I am shouting) for the last time.  I am easy to find but since Benzo Buddies is obsessed with keeping personal information off the forum ..  you will have to do some research.  To answer 88Keys here..  there are 3 (much better) websites that I can direct you to but the moderators will probably edit my post again.  BenzoFree.org.  Benzo Coalition.  Mad in America.

 

I wish everyone the best - and know that you WILL survive.  Take care.

 

My account will be deleted later today.

 

Well, your account will not be 'deleted'. Rather, it will be 'banned'. You were already walking a very thin line after attempting to solicit business through our PM system last year for your unqualified couching business.

 

Bye bye.

Hi Leslie,

 

Glad to see you are still improving.

 

When you had the tight muscles pulling hip up did it feel like the texture of the muscles had changed? Like they were hard, ropey, fibrotic gristle?

Did you have gristly, contracted  lumps At the muscle attachments or in the belly of the muscle?

 

Tried to PM but obviously can’t.