Getting rid of the negativity!!

Hello all, I was on Klonopin for 10 years on and off... first

Time I was 3 years in on 2-3mg a day and I quit cold turkey.. I had NO problems until 18 months later, absolute pure hell worst thing I ever did was cold turkey! Reinstated and stayed around .5mg for a while gradually got up to 1.5mg and tapered down by cutting .25mg every 2 weeks and jumped at .125..and now I’m looking to taper very slowly from 1.5mg again... I was thinking of cutting 0.125 every 2 weeks, doesn’t this lessen the risk of seizures? Obviously that’s my biggest concern and I’ve never had one before

 

Everyone keeps telling me I’m at a high risk for The worst side effects because I’ve been on an off of klonopin - I cold turkeyed and that was 10 years ago - reinstated 7 years ago then I did a simple taper off and I had simple effects, rebound anxiety, shakiness, fast heart rate...

 

So now I’ve been back on for 3 years at very low dose and got up to 1.5 -

If I cut 0.25mg for 2 weeks I can’t even tell... no withdrawal symptoms.... I’ve stayed at 1.5 because everyone keeps scaring me... saying I’ll have seizures... I feel stuck and the negativity is not helpful... I’m willing to taper at 0.125mg per every 2 weeks until it gets to .5mg then I would like to go extremely slow... am I wrong? Obviously I don’t want any horrible side effects but I also don’t enjoy feeling stuck

 

Yes, being stuck is not good. From reading various posts here, you will find that being on benzos for long term does not work, it catches up with you.  Benzos take a toll on every body system, and many people go from specialist to specialist trying to get a diagnosis of why they are sick, and it is actually benzos.  Here is an example.  I had a terrible cough for years.  I was hacking at night, coughing up clear discharge. I was referred to a pulmonologist.  He diagnosed it as asthma, and I was put on inhalers and other meds.  The doctor said he never saw something like that in a non smoker. After years, he finally said it may be GERD, or gastric reflux, where stomach juices irritate the esophagus by backing up.  I was then referred to a gastroenterologist, and that is what I had. I was put on Prilosec which helped. Reading about benzo symptoms, many long term users get "benzo belly".  The benzos caused this GERD, which caused the cough. In 2016, I was just walking in the house and I fell and fractured my pelvis.  I just fell, did not trip on anything. I believe it was due to dizziness caused by long term benzo use. Six months recovery time, I was lucky it was not worse.  I also fell three times before that and had minor ankle fractures. I also had hyponatremia, low blood sodium level, which can also be caused by benzos, which may have contributed to the dizziness. Long story short, the benzos just ruined my health. I tapered by doing a Valium crossover, and have been benzo free for 23 months. I am still sick with withdrawal symptoms, but I know I had to get off of that poison.  It eventually hurts every system in the body. Taper planning and information can be found on this site, the Ashton Manual is a good resource. I actually took a copy of it to the doctor's office. There is a lot of good information here on planning your taper. Good luck with what ever you decide.

Cupcake88-

 

I haven't seen the negativity you mention.  From what I've seen members have been telling you that even though you may have kindled from quitting cold turkey and a previous taper there is every likelihood you will heal.  Many members have completely healed after CT and kindling.  A few members have also tried to reassure you that people have a very low risk of seizures if they do a slow, careful taper. 

 

I know you're anxious about tapering about your taper and it seems like you will do best to start with very small cuts and hold until your symptoms stabilize.

 

I realize you wrote this post a week and a half ago.  How is your taper planning going? 

 

Take care,

Brighterday

I had a lot of self-doubt at the beginning of my taper. Some time away from this forum was useful for me when I could see that I was succeeding in lowering my dose, and not reading too much here or overanalyzing.

 

I think it's possible I felt anxious because I didn't know what to expect as far as withdrawal, and reading here made me more anxious sometimes. I eventually gained more confidence.

 

Hope you continue to do well!