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I wanted to start a group for those of us who are totally new to this experience.  I was prescribed for a short time for sleep during a quick illness.  My body became quickly dependent.  I quit CT.  How are you all holding up. I'm in my first week.  First three days were horrible. The past two days I've been a bit functional.  However, my definition of functional includes taking a shower, helping with 1-2 chores and maybe driving the kids somewhere. 

These are my current symptoms:  slight burning on arms and legs,  slight twitching in feet,  legs feel heavy, dryness in air passages, a bit of lacking apathy, intrusive thoughts here and there, fast heart rate,  and TOTAL INSOMNIA. 

I'm happy we have this forum. We can look up to the people before us and read success stories. We can also hold one another up as we go through this. 

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Thank you for this group!

 

I was prescribed Xanax + Lexapro for anxiety and depression in April but after 4 days taking them I stopped with no problems because I didn't like how they made me feel.

 

I had another wave of depression and anxiety now, hysterical crying and I was inconsolable thinking I will die. So my therapist and dad forced me to take a bit of Xanax, not warning me about the WD.

 

I took around 1.5mg over 9 days, with 0.125 most days and twice 0.25. I was supposed to take 0.25 twice a day but I wanted to go on the low end so I made my own schedule. I began feeling bad pretty early after every dose so I tried to taper and then CT. Doc doesn't think I used long enough to call this a CT.

 

My current symptoms are: cog fog, "brain feels swollen", pressure headaches, apathy, mania, restlessness, voice changes, tingling in face, changes in taste and smell, vivid dreams, intrusive memories, anxiety x100 times worse, panic, leg pain.

 

Hope we will get out of this hell supporting each other!

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I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  Doctors are just prescribing these medicines not knowing how horrible they are.  I was prescribed because I was sick with the flu and was having trouble sleeping.  I would have just fought through the flu pain if I had known I would be in WD.  If my symptoms do not improve over the next few weeks, I don't know how I will go back to work in August. So I'm stressed.  My current symptoms do not include any anxiety because I didn't have anxiety to begin with. 

These are my symptoms:

-airway passages/eyes so dry- hurts to breath

-heavyness in legs, feet sometimes twitching

-some intrusive thoughts (these were bad the first two days)

-burning feeling on skin (arms)

-Stomach hurts a tad

-I started my period today and my symptoms seemed hightened

-I've lost some feelings- I usually cry at the drop of a hat but I'm kind of Blank ( I still love my kids and husband...but I just feel blank)

-Horrible Insomnia 

I have reached out to some folks and they say the beginning is hard but it will get better as time goes on.  They also had some advice.  Food seems to trigger- so I have started just eating clean foods with lots of water.  They said supplements and other medicine can make symptoms worse, so I've stopped those. They said not to drink anything with stimulants No alcohol and No coffee- so I've stopped those. 

I am also going to start tracking my symptoms in the tracking log on this website.

Is there anything that you are doing that is helping that you could share with me? 

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I feel like we must be the only two newbys here.  My symptoms have not gotten worse or better.  Mostly physical.  My biggest complaint are the dry cough/tight chest, heavy legs, swollen front brain, and insomnia.  How are you WD symptoms today? 
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Blood pressure goes crazy, breathing is still weird, TMJ pain and hands go numb, but the swollen brain seems to subside. But the blood pressure changes make me feel nauseous and I do get small anxiety attacks :(
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Hey all,

 

Figured I'd chime in. I'm still relatively new at this (I'm a little over three months out, which I'm now learning can still be early in the journey). Withdrawal symptoms definitely wax and wane, but it does get a little better each week. I try to measure my successes that way, because the ups and downs of each day can be too much to keep track of sometimes. The first symptoms to subside for me were the worst, throbbing headaches, bad tremors, etc. Once past  that I just have to battle the ins and outs of feeling wired, anxious, and whatnot. Not to say that's all there is or that it isn't bad, but I'll take it over shaking and worrying about dying every second like I did in the beginning. Just accepting the situation and taking each day as it comes can work wonders in just surviving mentally. Accepting being uncomfortable for a while and knowing it'll be worth it in the long run. That's basically where I am. Just wanted to offer some hope that it's not quite as bad at 3 months as it was in the first couple of weeks. Hang in there!

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Hi THere,  THanks so much for joining.  I would say 3 months is pretty new.  Thanks for sharing your experience and knowing things wax and wane.  It's also great to hear that things are improving for you day by day.  I was supposed to go back to work in August, but things are becoming very clear to me.  I need to focus on my recovery!  Have you been able to work through this? 

I do have one celebration to share.  My sleep seems to be improving.  I was able to sleep fo 6 hours and only was interrupted once in sleep.  I also remember dreaming.  I head this is a good sign.  I still do wake up jittery.  It's nice knowing that the first couple of weeks can be the hardest.

I have been doing a lot of learning this past week since I'm mostly in best.  For us Newbys I think its good to be really informed.  Many folks have had setbacks down the road during healing and after healing.  I have been thinking about how I will need to do lifestyle changes...probably for a lifetime to avoid these setbacks.  People have discussed that certain things have caused these setbacks 

Examples:  over-exercising, coffee/caffeine, sugar, gluten, overly stressed, antibiotics, illness, supplements, and the BIG on alcohol.  One person described a 6 month setback from using a tooth gel, which had alcohol in it.

I bring this up because I think us Newbys can really learn from those that have gone through this before us. 

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Hey Tallgolfer,

 

Alcohol and specific types of exercise (cardio is the worst, I use resistance bands and do yoga now instead) are definitely the big triggers for me. There are differing opinions on whether you can have a drink or not, but whenever I try to seek some sort of old normal and have more than a couple of sips the next day is horrible. It's really just not worth it at this point.

Work is also a tricky one, but it can be done! I'm currently working from home, so luckily can work in spurts when I feel my best and take short breaks when I get a wave. It's definitely going to be tough to return to my desk for long days when everything clears up though. I'm sure I'm not the only one worrying there, but I hope that if I make as much improvement over the next couple of months as I have over the last couple, it should be manageable.

For the rest of the list, I do my best but try not to live in avoidance. I stick with the mentality that if you eat well and are generally cognizant of your body and take really good care of yourself, you're doing alright. Just might have to avoid the beer if you make it out onto the course this summer.

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How are the Newbys today.  I have some success.  I slept for 6 hours and had a dream. MY heavy legs were not as heavy today.  I was able to hang out with the family. 
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Hey that's improvement right there, it's all about the small victories. It's beautiful where I am so I went for a walk around the block before starting some work. For me that's a small victory in my day. And congrats on sleeping, that is definitely always a success. Glad to hear today's looking a little better!
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Free Celtic, Do you mind sharing what your current symptoms are at 3 months?  What symptoms have improved for you? 

I'm so glad you were able to go for a walk today.  :)

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How is everyone doing today?  I had an ok day.  My heart-rate is a little wild high.  95-100 sitting.  Can go up to 135 if I just walk up some stairs.  A tad concerning
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Hi Newbies,

 

I'm new to tapering off of Ativan with the help of BB since early June (this is actually my 4th attempt to get off). I'm having a bad wave. I think I dropped my dose by too much. I went from 0.18 to 0.14mg. Seems tiny, I know. 20% drop. I've been considering going back up by 10% to 0.16mg and restarting my taper from there. I just don't know what to do and the anxiety makes making a decision even harder. My other issue is that I only dose in the AM. I usually feel better by the evening. I think it is b/c it is out of my system. But I feel so poorly that I've considered splitting the dose. It just seems counter-intuitive to go to twice daily when I'm only taking it once daily now.

 

My symptoms include nausea (and weight loss), anxiety, dread, ear pressure, joint pain.

 

I have so many negative feelings about all of this. It feels like this drug is ruining my life. I feel angry and sad and scared. Having BB has helped b/c at least you all understand.

 

ld

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Hi, welcome to the group.  We are all pretty new at this.  I was on for a very short period so I CT but I'm still feeling the horrible withdraws.  You have a good question about tapering.  I would post this question under the Withdraw group.  These folks have so much experience and can point you in the right direction.  I have noticed that people experience WD with Ct and tapering.  You could wait a couple of weeks to see if your body adjusts.  I've read that it can take that long during tapering.  How are you doing?  I"m so sorry that you are experiencing anxiety and your other symptoms.  Do you have anyone to help you through this?  Yes. I am angry too.  I feel like my life is on hold right now
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Thanks for the response TallGolfer.

The names are funny, right???

I'm okay. I'm going through so much right now aside from the taper. It just muddies the water.

 

I do have tons of support, both around me and here on BB.

 

For any of you interested, Gingermint told me to look up Builder, who seemed to be very knowledgable about DLMT. I have definitely learned from his posts. Also, Luey has been a rock for me here on BB.

 

Good luck to us all. This is one of the greatest challenges of my life.

 

ld

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Hey guys I'll join in on the group.  Second trip to hospital last night for my tugging chest and throat add a little de personalization in there and vision change I thought I was dying.  Sent me home with hydroxyzine for anxiety.  Let's hope for a good day today positive vibes.
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Hi Confused2020. 

Here is a youtube video that is really inspiring.  There is hope that we will heal!!!!

I've reached two weeks as of tomorrow.  I'm not healed so I guess im in this for the long haul.  Not sure how long that will be but we need to not give up hope.  I seem to start the day ok and I get worse in the day. I'm starting to come to terms with stuff which is super hard.  I work and Iwas supposed to go back to work in August.  It's clear that I will need to take time off.  I hope I am able to return to work. 

 

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Month one is scary as h---. Not gonna lie. Crazy symptoms you thought never possible.

You aren't dying, you aren't crazy, and you're not broken forever.

 

Im in my fourth month and I'm getting windows. I'm way more functional.

Waves come and I've learned to just ride them out...don't get me wrong  - in a wave I still need encouragement bc its discouraging. And symptoms can hit like a truck. But then symptoms let up again and you realize you're not lost forever.

 

It is truly non- linear healing - which is baffling.

 

Just wanted to encourage you guys - never thought I'd make it this far - but here I am  :thumbsup:

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Hi again Trina,

 

My doc said the same thing... you are on a low dose, no problem, you can stop when you want to. Such BS. They don't know. I didn't know. So you are totally off now, jumping at 0.125??? You can see in my profile that my doses are super low. I recently switched to DLMT. I can't gauge how it is going b/c life is so stressful right now on top of trying to get off benzos. That is another thing my docs kept telling me... now is not the time to stop. Well, there is never a good time to stop, is there?

 

ld

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IDbenzohelp,

 

Hi there,  Are you still working?  I was taking off a 'low dose' too and I'm in week three. The symptoms are getting worse and I feel bed bound at this point.  I'm able to get up and walk around but that is about it.  I'm bracing myself to get through the next three months.  Many people have said that the first three months are the worst.  At this point, most of my symptoms are physical.  I do have a bit of depression due to my situation.  I'm very stressed about not returning to work in August but I'm thankful that I have three months saved up in medical leave.  How is everyone else holding up these past few days?

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Is anyone else experiencing any depersonalization.  Sometimes I feel like I'm like stuck inside of myself I can't explain it but scary as f
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Good luck to all!! Thank your lucky stars if you've been on a benzo for only a year or less. Docs are nuts, but you'll find your way.

 

:)

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