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Where's the Light at the End of the Tunnel?


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I'm on day 6 of no benzos. I ended my taper at .25 Klonopin for 7 days on May 19th. The symptoms were tolerable at first, but the past couple of days, I have been feeling horrible.  I don't want to interact with anyone because I feel like I'm being rude due to becoming agitated very quickly.  My mom was trying to check on me today and called several times. I couldn't bring myself to answer the phone. I feel depressed, irritated, and I have this feeling of paranoia and fear that I've never experienced.  I wish I could just sleep through this, but I know I have a long way to go. I know I can do this, but unlike some of the others who have gone or going through this, I wish I could do it alone to prevent hurting people around me. I don't want people to see me like this or feel bad for me. I don't want my husband to feel like he's done anything wrong. I just hope people can understand, but they couldn't possibly understand without ever going through this. I'm struggling to not go back . . . I can't go back. I'm glad that I can at least vent here when I'm at my worst. I'm praying for a miracle for all of us, that we won't have to struggle with this as much as what we read on Google, hear from doctors, etc. I have faith in all of us. It's just hard right now, but I try to keep reminding myself it's temporary and there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Hi Miraculous,

 

You're very early in withdrawal and you jumped from a dose that wasn't small - so it's not surprising that you're struggling with rough symptoms.  It can be really miserable - most of us on the forum know exactly what you're going through because we've been there or we are there right now. 

 

You're right to focus on a light at the end of the tunnel.  It's easy to become discouraged in withdrawal - in fact as your brain heals from benzos it sends us into all kinds of moods - the fear center becomes over sensitized and tells us to go into full blown panic at the drop of a hat. 

 

It can take some time for these symptoms to abate.  In the meantime, please try to up your self care and distract yourself with activities that take your mind off your symptoms.  The time you need to heal will pass more pleasantly if you distract yourself. 

 

I hope you'll read Success Stories often - it really helps offset the downward spiral if you're feeling discouraged.

 

Hang in there!

Wishing you much strength and healing,

Brighterday

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I'm so sorry you feel so bad.  :hug:

 

But you're on the right side of your recovery. Your body is free from drugs. And now your recovery begins.

:smitten:

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Thank you so much. I feel like the people around me are wondering why I'm putting myself through this. I'm going to have to go through it eventually.  Sooner is better than later. I'm proud to have come this far even though it may not seem far to others. I just wish I would've never started taking them and just dealt with my depression and anxiety on my own at that time.
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Hi Miraculous,

 

You're very early in withdrawal and you jumped from a dose that wasn't small - so it's not surprising that you're struggling with rough symptoms.  It can be really miserable - most of us on the forum know exactly what you're going through because we've been there or we are there right now. 

 

You're right to focus on a light at the end of the tunnel.  It's easy to become discouraged in withdrawal - in fact as your brain heals from benzos it sends us into all kinds of moods - the fear center becomes over sensitized and tells us to go into full blown panic at the drop of a hat. 

 

It can take some time for these symptoms to abate.  In the meantime, please try to up your self care and distract yourself with activities that take your mind off your symptoms.  The time you need to heal will pass more pleasantly if you distract yourself. 

 

I hope you'll read Success Stories often - it really helps offset the downward spiral if you're feeling discouraged.

 

Hang in there!

Wishing you much strength and healing,

Brighterday

 

Thank you so much for your encouragement.  Better days are definitely ahead.  :smitten:

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Miraculous...there is light. Its not torture all the time - I promise. You are in the thick of it right now. There will be breaks, periods of lessening symptoms or relief. It is rough, but you have strength for this. We all have reached deeper than we ever thought possible. Some days will feel like you're never going to make it..but you do. and another day comes and you'll deal with it too. You will start to see breaks..it is true when they say it is non-linear. And acceptance truly is key.

 

:smitten:

 

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I am new into my CT too (from .5mg). I can really relate to the fear of dragging loved ones through this. I am 3 weeks in and am losing focus on why I am doing this. I have brief periods of relative success and get so angry when they don't last; I'm still in the acute phase and hope to start feeling less dependent soon. If I didn't have my spouse, I couldn't live alone right now, and it feels very vulnerable. Wishing you some light in your tunnel soon.
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