I Think I Need To Jump ~ Clonazepam Is Slowly Killing Me

I’ve been on this tapering journey for 20 months.  That’s a huge chunk of time.  I’ve successfully tapered off alprazolam.  It’s been more than 7 months since my last dose.  Clonazepam is a beast. I’ve been tapering off 1mg since October, 2019 so into my 7th month. 

 

I’ve been deathly ill the entire benzo taper with nausea that has become extreme nausea.  No matter the speed of the taper, holding, dosage...I’m so nauseated I can barely function.  Insomnia is at its peak. I wake up after just a few hours of rest to unimaginable nausea.  Every single day.  It’s relentless.  Unbearable.  No meds help.  I’ve tried them all. It has my mind going to very dark places just to quell the horrific feeling of constant nausea.  I have a therapist.  I’m trying to plod along but clonazepam is winning now.  It’s time to stop.

 

I’m down to .10mg using DLMT.  I think it’s the best I can taper.  Symptoms aren’t getting any better.  Probably worsening.  My brain is fried from more than 15 years being on benzos.  It’s time to get off this poison.  My husband is very supportive.  He’s been my rock and has been for 39 years of marriage. 

 

Talk to me.  I need hope at this point that I’ll recover and have a meaningful life again. 

 

Thanks.

 

SG

💜

It sounds like you're ready SeptGirl!  I've watched many members eye that jumping off dose, wondering if it's time but from what I've seen, when they're ready they don't wonder anymore, they know.

 

You've made the case for getting off of the Klonopin and you're convinced me that it's the right time to finally let your brain do the last of the repair work without the drug getting in the way.

 

I applaud your decision. 

If you’re not feeling new or significantly amped symptoms when you cut lately, I’d go for it too. 

Hi September

 

A few thoughts...

 

Your husband is supportive.  That’s excellent.  You don’t have to go out to work as you cope.  You can just heal.  You’re not feeling better at all.  It makes you sick every day.  How much worse can you feel?  I guess that’s the question.  But you’re over this, and I understand.  Your dose is .1.  People do stop there.  It’s not a high dose.  You may feel it, but you may feel better, too.  Have a list of things you can do to feel better.  I’m happy for you, September.  I think you’re just about benzo free! 

so excited to hear you say “It’s time to stop” !  True healing can finally begin the moment you jump!    I felt horrible at the end of my taper and I knew it was time to stop too!

i kicked kpin in December. i had decreased its use immensely after i determined it was the cause of unbearable depression while i was still on it.

 

i have found from people on this board that (1) i am not alone in the struggle, (2) there are survivors, (3) people heal in their own time.

 

So i tell you, (1) youre not alone, (2) you will survive, (3) you will heal.

 

Hang in there and keep coming around. when in doubt, read success stories. they really help me when things start to get dark.

Thank you EVERYONE who replied! I’m really hoping to get this done and finally be free from this poison. It’s time.  It’s past time. 

 

I’ve been sick for so long I’m afraid I won’t know what feeling well again will be.  I’m ready to heal and move forward with my life.  Live.  Not exist.

 

I’m ready.

 

SG

💜

It's like you took the words right out of my mouth. I've been tapering K over a year now, and am down to .075mg, but yea, I think the med is just making me sicker and sicker by the day. It's impossible for me to know what's sx and what's wd, though. So I, personally, am just gritting my teeth and dropping down no matter how I feel. I'm doing about .001mg/day on average, so I should be done with this garbage in about 2 months.

@[he...]

 

I’ve been thinking when I make my batch, it just kills me that I’m a slave to 1ml of this poison! 1ml!!!  I mix it with 1 cup of water and dose 4 times a day (1/4cup at a time).  I just don’t want it to have that power over me any longer.  It’s ridiculous.

 

I look at as a 90% reduction and I’m convinced the remainder is keeping me sick now. I’ve never found it to be “long acting” and get absolutely zero relief after I dose.  No let up of any symptoms (never did) like nausea, doesn’t help with sleep, zero help for anxiety, etc.  You’re  right.  Is it symptoms or withdrawal?  I think, for me, it’s symptoms. I’m tolerant and have been for years.  That’s why I decided to get off benzos.  I was always sick.

 

Why exactly am I taking it then!?!? Light bulb moment. I don’t need it.  It’s poison.

 

I want to be benzo free as everyone on here wants or has wanted.

 

Good luck to you. You’re closer than you may think to being benzo free.  “Therapeutic” dosing went out the window long ago.

 

Take care.  Thanks for your message.

 

SG

 

I recently jumped from .25mg K 2x/day for the same reason. I was so tolerant and knew I couldn't put it into my body any longer. I am starting to really peak into acute symptoms right now but reinstating seems not to be the answer for me. So glad to know I'm not the only one on here who couldn't stick out a taper. There are probably more of us than we realize. Good luck.

@[de...]

 

I absolutely did “stick out a taper”.  No dose has ever been beneficial, at least to me.  Jumping at your dose vs. jumping at my dose aren’t comparable.  Lots of buddies actually start a taper at your jump dose.  It takes a lot of guts to do what you did.  I would never have jumped at that point.

 

If I’m reading your signature properly, you jumped from 0.5mg/day??  That’s a hefty dose to most of us.  I applaud your tenacity. 

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Good luck to all of us.

 

SG

💜

@hearsaybenz

 

I’ve been thinking when I make my batch, it just kills me that I’m a slave to 1ml of this poison! 1ml!!!  I mix it with 1 cup of water and dose 4 times a day (1/4cup at a time).  I just don’t want it to have that power over me any longer.  It’s ridiculous.

 

I look at as a 90% reduction and I’m convinced the remainder is keeping me sick now. I’ve never found it to be “long acting” and get absolutely zero relief after I dose.  No let up of any symptoms (never did) like nausea, doesn’t help with sleep, zero help for anxiety, etc.  You’re  right.  Is it symptoms or withdrawal?  I think, for me, it’s symptoms. I’m tolerant and have been for years.  That’s why I decided to get off benzos.  I was always sick.

 

Why exactly am I taking it then!?!? Light bulb moment. I don’t need it.  It’s poison.

 

I want to be benzo free as everyone on here wants or has wanted.

 

Good luck to you. You’re closer than you may think to being benzo free.  “Therapeutic” dosing went out the window long ago.

 

Take care.  Thanks for your message.

 

SG

 

Well you’re giving me a lot to think about. I have gotten zero relief from my dose since pretty much the very beginning. Benzos have never helped me, just made things worse right outta the gate. Maybe I just need to pull the chord too, I’m practically taking slivers as it is. I’m gonna keep an eye on you. If you jump and start feeling better, I will likely follow suit.

@hearsaybenz

 

I’ve been thinking when I make my batch, it just kills me that I’m a slave to 1ml of this poison! 1ml!!!  I mix it with 1 cup of water and dose 4 times a day (1/4cup at a time).  I just don’t want it to have that power over me any longer.  It’s ridiculous.

 

I look at as a 90% reduction and I’m convinced the remainder is keeping me sick now. I’ve never found it to be “long acting” and get absolutely zero relief after I dose.  No let up of any symptoms (never did) like nausea, doesn’t help with sleep, zero help for anxiety, etc.  You’re  right.  Is it symptoms or withdrawal?  I think, for me, it’s symptoms. I’m tolerant and have been for years.  That’s why I decided to get off benzos.  I was always sick.

 

Why exactly am I taking it then!?!? Light bulb moment. I don’t need it.  It’s poison.

 

I want to be benzo free as everyone on here wants or has wanted.

 

Good luck to you. You’re closer than you may think to being benzo free.  “Therapeutic” dosing went out the window long ago.

 

Take care.  Thanks for your message.

 

SG

 

Well you’re giving me a lot to think about. I have gotten zero relief from my dose since pretty much the very beginning. Benzos have never helped me, just made things worse right outta the gate. Maybe I just need to pull the chord too, I’m practically taking slivers as it is. I’m gonna keep an eye on you. If you jump and start feeling better, I will likely follow suit.

 

@hearsaybenz

 

You know your body best.  I’ve been a nauseated mess for years but it’s only gotten worse during my tapers.  Looking back, tapering alprazolam was almost a cake walk next to clonazepam! Maybe because I was still on a benzo (clonazepam) when I jumped could be a reason.  More than likely but I never suffered like I am with clonazepam. It’s horrendous.

 

My symptoms have always been over the top so don’t go by me. If I were at your dose, I would definitely jump as it seems you’re more symptomatic than withdrawing too. I’m not sure but it seems that way.

 

Either way, best of luck and healing to you.

 

SG

💜

 

@delsol

 

I absolutely did “stick out a taper”.  No dose has ever been beneficial, at least to me.  Jumping at your dose vs. jumping at my dose aren’t comparable.  Lots of buddies actually start a taper at your jump dose.  It takes a lot of guts to do what you did.  I would never have jumped at that point.

 

If I’m reading your signature properly, you jumped from 0.5mg/day??  That’s a hefty dose to most of us.  I applaud your tenacity. 

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Good luck to all of us.

 

SG

💜

[/quote

 

I think my wording was incorrect. Stick it out you did. My bad.

 

Your journey, like so many of ours, has been a rough one. Glad this site exists.

 

Delsol

 

 

I am so ready to be done, but I just don’t know what the right choice is for sure. I’m talking to a clinic in town that does NAD IV therapy. I am really considering it. If I do that, I will stop Klonopin when I start the treatment.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I failed stopping this poison.  Yesterday my dose was .10mg, I took two doses...one at 6:30 a.m. and one at 12:30 p.m. I skipped the two evening doses so the total dose taken yesterday was 0.005mg (not sure of decimal placement but half of .10mg).  I was terribly nauseated by bedtime but went to bed trying to tough it out.  I was awake with severe nausea almost the entire night.  Maybe a few catnaps but nothing substantial.

 

I was up for the day at 3:30 a.m. in full blown withdrawal. I did everything in my power trying to alleviate my symptoms.  Deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness, reading, playing games, drinking water, etc.  I managed to straighten up my house and get a shower.  While I was in the shower, I almost fell out of the tub because of severe dizziness.  Clonazepam has never been long acting for me.

 

I took my blood pressure and it was 186/94...too high for my comfort. At 7:30 a.m, I took a dose of the DLMT.  I’m such a failure.

 

I’ll regroup and taper to a lower dose and try to stop again.  I had every hope in the world I could do this but caved in after just 19 hours.  Not good.

 

Sorry for the disappointment.  I hate this poison and so desperately want it gone. 

 

I’ll have to be more patient.

 

SG

 

You will get there..

I did a premature 0.5V jump too.. Though in my case (cos im weird) it took months to suddenly hit me like a train, so I only went back on at 0.25V, -Held through some mild new and re-occuring long lost SX, and jumped with no significant increase in SX intensity.. -Phew..

Two weeks later I had a MAJOR “once in a life time” and unresolvable stress event initiate, and while I learnt what anxiety was all about, I survived through it and even tapered the last of the lyrica..

So I hope you do every bit as well, or even better, when the time comes..

 

I should say, I still had my deep long term SX, but cant really blame them on benzos alone, or even much(ish).. 

 

You will get there..

I did a premature 0.5V jump too.. Though in my case (cos im weird) it took months to suddenly hit me like a train, so I only went back on at 0.25V, -Held through some mild new and re-occuring long lost SX, and jumped with no significant increase in SX intensity.. -Phew..

Two weeks later I had a MAJOR “once in a life time” and unresolvable stress event initiate, and while I learnt what anxiety was all about, I survived through it and even tapered the last of the lyrica..

So I hope you do every bit as well, or even better, when the time comes..

 

I should say, I still had my deep long term SX, but cant really blame them on benzos alone, or even much(ish)..

 

@Cantfly

 

Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m so disappointed. I didn’t think it would be easy, but I didn’t expect it to be so severe.  I honestly thought I could do it given the severity of my on the poison symptoms.  I’m still convinced clonazepam is why I’m feeling so shitty but don’t know how to get over horrible withdrawal symptoms.

 

I guess time and patience...which I’m really running out of.

 

SG

💜

You will get there..

I did a premature 0.5V jump too.. Though in my case (cos im weird) it took months to suddenly hit me like a train, so I only went back on at 0.25V, -Held through some mild new and re-occuring long lost SX, and jumped with no significant increase in SX intensity.. -Phew..

Two weeks later I had a MAJOR “once in a life time” and unresolvable stress event initiate, and while I learnt what anxiety was all about, I survived through it and even tapered the last of the lyrica..

So I hope you do every bit as well, or even better, when the time comes..

 

I should say, I still had my deep long term SX, but cant really blame them on benzos alone, or even much(ish)..

 

@Cantfly

 

Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m so disappointed. I didn’t think it would be easy, but I didn’t expect it to be so severe.  I honestly thought I could do it given the severity of my on the poison symptoms.  I’m still convinced clonazepam is why I’m feeling so shitty but don’t know how to get over horrible withdrawal symptoms.

 

I guess time and patience...which I’m really running out of.

 

SG

💜

I hear you.. -If you work out another way pls let me know.. Im so stuck on the last of these darn opiates.. Between 10yrs of tolerance, and all the other nasty words that can happen, there is very little room to move..

lol, I now call 90% rotten “good”..   Stockholm syndrome perhaps..

Its a fine line to crawl, but trust the process, -and your body..

Best wishes.. 

 

You're not a failure. I know exactly what you mean. It is so miserable being shackled to this stuff that is making us so sick. I don't get why it's so hard to get off of something that my body never seemed to want in the first place. Even though I feel no relief or effect from my dose, I, like you, still feel every tiny cut. After holding for over a month, I've cut down around .004mg over the course of the last week and a half.. and same as you. Severe severe nausea last night and this morning. Looping thoughts, weakness... all the fun things. I still want to just keep cutting down, but I'm not sure I can do it when it gets this bad. It's just horrible.

You're not a failure. I know exactly what you mean. It is so miserable being shackled to this stuff that is making us so sick. I don't get why it's so hard to get off of something that my body never seemed to want in the first place. Even though I feel no relief or effect from my dose, I, like you, still feel every tiny cut. After holding for over a month, I've cut down around .004mg over the course of the last week and a half.. and same as you. Severe severe nausea last night and this morning. Looping thoughts, weakness... all the fun things. I still want to just keep cutting down, but I'm not sure I can do it when it gets this bad. It's just horrible.

 

@hearsaybenz

 

It’s absolute hell.  I think today is my worst day so far.  This poison is killing me.  My blood pressure is sky high, severe nausea, hissing tinnitus (nothing new), dizziness that won’t quit, head/chest pressure and overall feeling like total shit.  Back to square one.  I can’t continue to feel so poorly. I may go insane. 

 

I don’t get why it’s so hard to get off especially with tapering. I’ll have to hold a few days then cut again.  The only way off is to continue the taper.  I don’t see any other way. 

 

I hope we both get off the poison and start to feel better.  No one should have to suffer like this.

 

SG

💜

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi SeptGirl...

 

I am sorry you are having a horrible time.  I usually don’t comment on here, but your journey of nausea and dizziness is very similar to mine.

 

I took clonazepam for 23 years for severe insomnia, chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. It did put me to sleep and relaxed my muscles. It also caused severe side effects from tolerance withdrawal. I started out on 2 mg. for probably 14 years and then I cut pill in half and started taking 1 mg. nightly for next 9 years. I was dizzy and nausea's the entire 23 years, among a million other things. It was only when I finally stopped taken it completely, that the nausea and dizziness started to let up and have since have gone away. I am in my 23 month of C/T off it and I am doing GREAT! I still have episodes of nausea here and there, but the 24 hour a day is gone. After going off, I had extreme GI problems, food allergies, even the skin around my teeth on my gums all peeled off. I burned internally from crotch to throat. I had an elephant that lived on my chest and a throat so tight I thought it was closing off.  What helped my nausea the most were 2 items I lived on...Chimes Ginger Chews and Country Life Acid Rescue tablets.  Both these you can get from Amazon.  I refused to take any medicine or chemical and those two choices seemed least harmful to me.  They were an absolute lifesaver for me. 

 

Once I completely stopped the clonazepam, several symptoms I had for years went away pretty quickly..namely tinnitus and a “broken” elbow. I had to carry a pillow around with me as my elbow was so painful..then the entire arm ached also affecting my finger functioning. Once I stopped putting the poison in my body, my elbow stopped hurting after about 15 years of excruciating pain.  Of course, severe other symptoms from head to toe worsened, but slowly have gotten better. So, yes, I understand about feeling it is poison...and it was for me. My body started on its way to healing itself from all the damage once I stopped giving it poison.

 

@Sai

 

Thank you for your post!  I’ve used ginger candy in the past and it never helped the nausea. I’ve used ginger caps too and a ginger supplement from Amazon with  low dose B vitamin that was supposed to be good for nausea  No relief.  I use Tums, Gaviscon and Pepcid too.  None of them help nausea or the burn in my stomach. Tinnitus is horrific...hissing so loud it’s hard to actually hear sometimes.

 

I had endoscopy not too long ago and was put on sucralfate.  I took it for 2 months with no nausea relief so I stopped.  I actually think it made the nausea worse!! I was diagnosed with gastritis, esophagitis and small erosions in my stomach. 

 

Did these two items you recommend help while you were still on the poison or just once you were off? I’d be willing to try anything!

 

I’m glad you’re doing so much better now.  I can only pray I get there soon.

 

 

SG

💜

 

Hi SeptGirl...

 

I am sorry you are having a horrible time.  I usually don’t comment on here, but your journey of nausea and dizziness is very similar to mine.

 

I took clonazepam for 23 years for severe insomnia, chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. It did put me to sleep and relaxed my muscles. It also caused severe side effects from tolerance withdrawal. I started out on 2 mg. for probably 14 years and then I cut pill in half and started taking 1 mg. nightly for next 9 years. I was dizzy and nausea's the entire 23 years, among a million other things. It was only when I finally stopped taken it completely, that the nausea and dizziness started to let up and have since have gone away. I am in my 23 month of C/T off it and I am doing GREAT! I still have episodes of nausea here and there, but the 24 hour a day is gone. After going off, I had extreme GI problems, food allergies, even the skin around my teeth on my gums all peeled off. I burned internally from crotch to throat. I had an elephant that lived on my chest and a throat so tight I thought it was closing off.  What helped my nausea the most were 2 items I lived on...Chimes Ginger Chews and Country Life Acid Rescue tablets.  Both these you can get from Amazon.  I refused to take any medicine or chemical and those two choices seemed least harmful to me.  They were an absolute lifesaver for me. 

 

Once I completely stopped the clonazepam, several symptoms I had for years went away pretty quickly..namely tinnitus and a “broken” elbow. I had to carry a pillow around with me as my elbow was so painful..then the entire arm ached also affecting my finger functioning. Once I stopped putting the poison in my body, my elbow stopped hurting after about 15 years of excruciating pain.  Of course, severe other symptoms from head to toe worsened, but slowly have gotten better. So, yes, I understand about feeling it is poison...and it was for me. My body started on its way to healing itself from all the damage once I stopped giving it poison.

 

I have a lot of pain in my elbow, too. My left only. Sometimes the outside of my upper arm gets really sore, too. It's good to hear that that will go away once I'm off the poison. That hit me just a few weeks after starting benzos, so I've always known that was the culprit. I can't believe how poisonous this stuff is. I so just want to jump now, but I still believe I will have a smoother landing if I just stay the course and gently come off. I can't wait to rid my body of this junk.

I took products while on and off. I had never had success with ginger throughout the years either..and I did not like the taste at all. I tried capsules, teas, chews..nothing helped..and the chews had just too much sugar. I researched to find ginger with least amount of sugar and found Chimes..original ginger flavor. It was the only sugar I ate as sugar revved me up more. I actually began to love the taste of them and now they are like a treat. Unfortunately, they remind me of such a horrible time that it’s a “bitter sweet“ thing to chew them now because of the connection.  There was another product that helped tremendously and that is DGL Licorice Root from Enzymatic.  I bought it at Sprouts. You chew the tablets before you eat. The licorice actually helps heal the stomach. It is used for ulcers and other stomach problems.  Google  “Dr. Weil and DGL licorice root“..read what he says on it.  Regular licorice will raise your blood pressure, but the DGL has that component taken out.  The acid rescue doesn’t have all the other chemicals most products have in them.

 

It did take time for my stomach to heal..so time is involved..but those three things is what I used for last 2 years. It feels so good to have my balance back after 20 some years and also to not be chronically nauseous and throwing up  every single minute.  Like I said, it wasn’t until I stopped the poison that I could feel any difference in the dizziness and nausea.

 

@Sai

 

I actually have DGL licorice root...not that brand, I have Natural Factors.  I have read Dr. Weil’s website. Small world.  I guess we look for relief wherever we can find it. I’ll get back to DGL.  I’ve taken it sporadically lately but will take as recommended again.  I don’t eat sugar either.  No gluten (hypothyroidism/Hashimoto’s) and zero caffeine.

 

You’ve been very helpful.  Thank you for your time.  I don’t have the guts to stop again from where I am now. I’m so ill I can’t possibly imagine stopping until I taper further.  It’s so frustrating!! Deathly ill on it and off. 

 

I’m hoping to at least stabilize back to terrible instead of horrific and start to taper again.

 

Thank you Sai.

 

SG

💜

 

 

Hi SeptGirl...

 

I am sorry you are having a horrible time.  I usually don’t comment on here, but your journey of nausea and dizziness is very similar to mine.

 

I took clonazepam for 23 years for severe insomnia, chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. It did put me to sleep and relaxed my muscles. It also caused severe side effects from tolerance withdrawal. I started out on 2 mg. for probably 14 years and then I cut pill in half and started taking 1 mg. nightly for next 9 years. I was dizzy and nausea's the entire 23 years, among a million other things. It was only when I finally stopped taken it completely, that the nausea and dizziness started to let up and have since have gone away. I am in my 23 month of C/T off it and I am doing GREAT! I still have episodes of nausea here and there, but the 24 hour a day is gone. After going off, I had extreme GI problems, food allergies, even the skin around my teeth on my gums all peeled off. I burned internally from crotch to throat. I had an elephant that lived on my chest and a throat so tight I thought it was closing off.  What helped my nausea the most were 2 items I lived on...Chimes Ginger Chews and Country Life Acid Rescue tablets.  Both these you can get from Amazon.  I refused to take any medicine or chemical and those two choices seemed least harmful to me.  They were an absolute lifesaver for me. 

 

Once I completely stopped the clonazepam, several symptoms I had for years went away pretty quickly..namely tinnitus and a “broken” elbow. I had to carry a pillow around with me as my elbow was so painful..then the entire arm ached also affecting my finger functioning. Once I stopped putting the poison in my body, my elbow stopped hurting after about 15 years of excruciating pain.  Of course, severe other symptoms from head to toe worsened, but slowly have gotten better. So, yes, I understand about feeling it is poison...and it was for me. My body started on its way to healing itself from all the damage once I stopped giving it poison.

 

I have a lot of pain in my elbow, too. My left only. Sometimes the outside of my upper arm gets really sore, too. It's good to hear that that will go away once I'm off the poison. That hit me just a few weeks after starting benzos, so I've always known that was the culprit. I can't believe how poisonous this stuff is. I so just want to jump now, but I still believe I will have a smoother landing if I just stay the course and gently come off. I can't wait to rid my body of this junk.

 

@hearsaybenz

 

I don’t blame you for wanting to taper to the end.  I learned a valuable lesson by stopping too soon.  I just thought I was low enough me sick enough to do it.  This is, without a doubt, the sickest day I’ve had.  Stopping the poison amplified my symptoms.  I’m two doses in today so far and haven’t gotten any better.  Hopefully I’ll settle down enough a bit later so I can get some sleep tonight.

 

How did we get here?  It’s God awful and we shouldn’t have to suffer like this.

 

SG

💜