5 Years Off

Yesterday marked 5 years since I took my last dose of a z-drug or benzo and began my long bout of withdrawal insomnia. Somewhere along the way sleep more or less fully returned and I now tend to nod off within minutes of closing my eyes at night (but not every night). It is unsettling for me to remember how dark things were getting as my sleeping medication overuse began to make itself known. Two things saved me from a possible outcome that really could have been devastating. First, were the results of my own research that led me to discover that I was going through tolerance withdrawal. Not a single doctor or therapist suggested that this could have been the case. The second was finding BenzoBuddies which reinforced my self-diagnosis and provide much needed support during my long recovery.

 

Had I remained on the path that I was on I think it very possible that in desperation I would have turned toward psychiatric treatment and most likely would have been bombarded with medication to treat the insomnia and resulting anxiety and depression. Being overly sensitive to many medications, I could have been left in a drooling catatonic state locked away in a hospital. Instead, I am living a normal life, enjoying my family, home, job and bed.

 

I have stayed away from BB in recent times because it can just get a bit overwhelming to witness the never ending stream of new people finding themselves on the horrible path that I had to navigate. Today I just want all of you newcomers to understand that what you are going through does end and that your having found your way to this forum is probably one of the best things that you could have done for yourself, other than having made the decision to get off the poison that caused your problems. Stay drug-free and keep moving forward one day at a time. The path that you are on does not lead toward life, it meanders through it and in time your journey will become easier and much more enjoyable.

Aloha!!!!

 

Congratulations to you! May your life be beautiful!!

 

I still remember you and I am glad you too feel better today

 

Marigold

What other symptoms did you deal with besides insomnia? I'm now 26 months off Klonopin and my insomnia is much better. I'm dealing with anger and emotional issues that are very bad.

What other symptoms did you deal with besides insomnia? I'm now 26 months off Klonopin and my insomnia is much better. I'm dealing with anger and emotional issues that are very bad.

 

Hi boomboxboy21,

In addition to insomnia, anxiety and depression were my main symptoms, but they were certainly intertwined with the insomnia. As sleep got better there was less anxiety and depression to deal with. I think that my personality lends itself to these issues so I probably always will have them to some extent.

Aloha!!!!

 

Congratulations to you! May your life be beautiful!!

 

I still remember you and I am glad you too feel better today

 

Marigold

 

Hi Marigold1,

I see that you too hit the 5 year mark a little while ago so congratulations back at you! Hope that you are also feeling pretty good.

What other symptoms did you deal with besides insomnia? I'm now 26 months off Klonopin and my insomnia is much better. I'm dealing with anger and emotional issues that are very bad.

 

Hi boomboxboy21,

In addition to insomnia, anxiety and depression were my main symptoms, but they were certainly intertwined with the insomnia. As sleep got better there was less anxiety and depression to deal with. I think that my personality lends itself to these issues so I probably always will have them to some extent.

 

It's hard for me because I'm finally starting to sleep consistently after two years and I'm still dealing with pretty severe anxiety and anger all the time. It's so much different than anything I remember feeling in the past. It's really hard. I'm hoping sleep starts healing me.

That’s great aloha! I think about you a lot. I was in a similar position as you jussi a few months ago, but have had a very bad setback from a shot I got at the ER for some stomach issues. Now I’m back in hell again. My insomnia and other symptoms are back after being gone for 2-½ years. I just can’t believe I’m back in this mess again after fighting so hard to get out of it. I would easily get sleepy during the day and most nights I was falling asleep very quickly and sleeping great through the night. I feel like such an idiot now and don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve made such a bad mistake. It wasn’t like the alcohol setbacks where I chose to drink. I had no idea the shot would do this to me. I just got complacent with not double checking if it would cause a problem. I’ve barely slept this week including tonight.

Aloha!!!!

 

Congratulations to you! May your life be beautiful!!

 

I still remember you and I am glad you too feel better today

 

Marigold

 

Hi Marigold1,

I see that you too hit the 5 year mark a little while ago so congratulations back at you! Hope that you are also feeling pretty good.

 

Yeah, working myself back into life, right? Still suffering from fatigue, working on that. But besides this life is so good that I want to get as much of it as possible

That’s great aloha! I think about you a lot. I was in a similar position as you jussi a few months ago, but have had a very bad setback from a shot I got at the ER for some stomach issues. Now I’m back in hell again. My insomnia and other symptoms are back after being gone for 2-½ years. I just can’t believe I’m back in this mess again after fighting so hard to get out of it. I would easily get sleepy during the day and most nights I was falling asleep very quickly and sleeping great through the night. I feel like such an idiot now and don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve made such a bad mistake. It wasn’t like the alcohol setbacks where I chose to drink. I had no idea the shot would do this to me. I just got complacent with not double checking if it would cause a problem. I’ve barely slept this week including tonight.

 

Hi Siggy,

Good to hear from you again, but of course I am sorry to hear about your set-back. What s drag! That shot must have been some sort of sedative. I always wondered what I would do if I needed surgery and was facing having to be put out for fear that the drugs would trigger a setback. Hopefully this time around for you will not take too long to resolve itself. Kind of hard to imagine that it would unless the experience triggered a psychological issues like PTSD from your earlier experience or something. You can always try addressing the problem from that angle I guess. I wish you good luck in getting back to normal real soon.

Marigold1,

Bad math on my part. Belated congratulations on 4 (not 5) years off! Glad to hear that you are doing pretty good and I like your positive attitude.

That’s great aloha! I think about you a lot. I was in a similar position as you jussi a few months ago, but have had a very bad setback from a shot I got at the ER for some stomach issues. Now I’m back in hell again. My insomnia and other symptoms are back after being gone for 2-½ years. I just can’t believe I’m back in this mess again after fighting so hard to get out of it. I would easily get sleepy during the day and most nights I was falling asleep very quickly and sleeping great through the night. I feel like such an idiot now and don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve made such a bad mistake. It wasn’t like the alcohol setbacks where I chose to drink. I had no idea the shot would do this to me. I just got complacent with not double checking if it would cause a problem. I’ve barely slept this week including tonight.

 

Hi Siggy,

Good to hear from you again, but of course I am sorry to hear about your set-back. What s drag! That shot must have been some sort of sedative. I always wondered what I would do if I needed surgery and was facing having to be put out for fear that the drugs would trigger a setback. Hopefully this time around for you will not take too long to resolve itself. Kind of hard to imagine that it would unless the experience triggered a psychological issues like PTSD from your earlier experience or something. You can always try addressing the problem from that angle I guess. I wish you good luck in getting back to normal real soon.

 

Thanks aloha! Sorry I posted this in your thread. I feel bad about that now and apologize.

 

The shot they gave me was an unusual one. Kind of embarrassing situation. I got stuck as a juror on one of the longest civil trials in my county (ended up being 2-½ weeks). And of course they never mentioned that. I have IBS and can normally control it when I need to with Imodium for short periods. Unfortunately I didn’t count on the trial lasting so long. So I accidentally stopped myself up too much as I was paranoid about having an emergency while in the courtroom. In hindsight I should have just tried to get a medical pass, but I never prepared for that. So Imodium is actually an opiate that doesn’t pass into the blood, but only in the bowels and that’s how it works. So they gave me a shot of Naloxone (LDN) to counteract the opiate. I had NO idea that would cause this kind of reaction. I was totally clueless. It took five days to hit me. Now I have all the symptoms I had before and my sleep is super jacked up. I’ve been very paranoid about having any sedatives too, but never thought that something like that would cause a reaction. I do have a lot of PTSD from this. I’ve now made it three months since that incident. Last time this happened when I had a setback from alcohol in 2017, it took me about 4 to 4-½ months to get better. I’m just hoping the same recovery timeline will happen again.

 

So I’ve was feeling healed for roughly 2-½ years and was feeling great. One other odd thing is that had to take the antibiotic Cipro (fluoroquinolone) in 2019 and was terrified. But it was fine and didn’t cause me any problems even though I’ve heard bad stories about it. Just hoping my sleep improves soon. Sorry I hijacked your thread. Just thought I’d fill everyone in in case someone else may end up in the same situation.

 

You’re one of the top buddies that used to helped me back in the beginning. And I still appreciate that immensely. A lot of the other veterans aren’t on here much anymore which I totally understand. I was only coming back in here to help people until this happened. Hope everything is going well for you and your family!

Siggy, there is no need to apologize about anything. It indeed was a long time ago that we were in the trenches together. I guess that you are extra sensitive to medications, as I am too. That is partially what gave us such bad withdrawals and what might make for future booby traps to be on guard against when given other meds. Sleep well again soon!

Aloha,

 

Congrats on 5 years off.  You had quite the journey and I learned a lot from you!  I appreciated all of your support as I went through my WD and recovery.

 

I am very sensitive to drugs too.  Last May, I had a severe elbow infection that required surgery.  I was given the Michael Jackson drug, Propofol, 2 times as I had 2 surgeries.  Luckily it didn't affect me or cause any type of setback.  I was also on a very high dose of regular antibiotics for almost a month and luckily that didn't do anything either.  I was completely worried that I would have a major setback.

 

Siggy, sorry you are experiencing this again.  As with Aloha, I appreciated all of your support too.  How would you know an LDN shot would create 3 months of hell?  I am hopeful this will even out for you soon!

 

It's good to get this information out for the never ending stream of new people. 

Siggy, there is no need to apologize about anything. It indeed was a long time ago that we were in the trenches together. I guess that you are extra sensitive to medications, as I am too. That is partially what gave us such bad withdrawals and what might make for future booby traps to be on guard against when given other meds. Sleep well again soon!

 

For sure I must be very sensitive to any medication. So I'll have to be even more vigilant in the future and will avoid any meds unless absolutely necessary. I think I'll make a card up to keep in wallet that will have a list of substances known to cause problems. I found one after the fact that had the Low Dose Naltrexone listed as a probable trigger. I just wished I had that info beforehand and would have refused it.

That’s great aloha! I think about you a lot. I was in a similar position as you jussi a few months ago, but have had a very bad setback from a shot I got at the ER for some stomach issues. Now I’m back in hell again. My insomnia and other symptoms are back after being gone for 2-½ years. I just can’t believe I’m back in this mess again after fighting so hard to get out of it. I would easily get sleepy during the day and most nights I was falling asleep very quickly and sleeping great through the night. I feel like such an idiot now and don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve made such a bad mistake. It wasn’t like the alcohol setbacks where I chose to drink. I had no idea the shot would do this to me. I just got complacent with not double checking if it would cause a problem. I’ve barely slept this week including tonight.

 

What shot did they give you??

That’s great aloha! I think about you a lot. I was in a similar position as you jussi a few months ago, but have had a very bad setback from a shot I got at the ER for some stomach issues. Now I’m back in hell again. My insomnia and other symptoms are back after being gone for 2-½ years. I just can’t believe I’m back in this mess again after fighting so hard to get out of it. I would easily get sleepy during the day and most nights I was falling asleep very quickly and sleeping great through the night. I feel like such an idiot now and don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve made such a bad mistake. It wasn’t like the alcohol setbacks where I chose to drink. I had no idea the shot would do this to me. I just got complacent with not double checking if it would cause a problem. I’ve barely slept this week including tonight.

 

What shot did they give you??

 

LDN (Low Dose Naltrexone) and then after that I took Lactulose laxative. I don't know which one caused the setback. The shot was given to me on a Wednesday night and I didn't take the lactulose until Friday. The symptoms all hit me Sunday night.