2nd Cold Turkey

Currently going through my 2nd CT even though it's not as bad as the first time it's still a huge wake up call and living hell. It all started with me self medicating with alcohol wheni was about 22 when I first started having random panic attacks. Eventually I started getting really bad hangovers that caused panic attacks and bad anxiety. I've been to the ER more times than I can count just to find out it's just anxiety. I also found out that if I have some sort of benzo the next day its basically my hangover cure. So I started getting them from friends or dealers off the street anytime I drank so I didnt have to deal with the horrid hangover anxiety. Fast forward almost a year... I had been sober from alcohol for months but still taking benzos (Mainly xanax) and I had grown a tolerance and dependency without even realizing it somehow. I was now taking anywhere from 2-4 mg everyday for the past 6 months and tried to taper a little to just 2 mg a day but then just went cold turkey. It was terrible for over 2 weeks. Once the worst part of it had gotten out of the way I made a huge move across country to Colorado and gotten a good job started my new life. Lost a bunch of weight and got in shape. Anxiety free. Best I have ever felt. My dad got sick so I moved back home and started drinking again thinking I was safe. The cycle has repeated itself except luckily this time I have only been taking xanax again anywhere from 2mg-4mg daily for about 2-3 weeks. Not nearly as long but I remember this feeling well. It's not as bad this time but I'm 3 days in not feeling so hot. Brain fog. Constant buzzing/vibrating in my body. Head pressure. Feels like I'm in a dream state. Hypersensitive to everything. Fear of seizure. It's a lot but I feel like an idiot for even putting myself back here. I wish I had found this page before as it's been helping a lot and I decided to create an account for advice and to give my own if anyone ever can relate to my withdrawal story. I keep telling myself that it will be over soon and I will be ok. I'm just curious how long it will last this time. Currently can't work or do anything really in this state. Last time the worst of it seemed to last only 2 weeks and I had been taking them daily over 6 months maybe closer to a year. Again this time has only been more like 2-3 weeks. If anyone has gone through anything similar any insight is appreciated!

I’m going through something very similar. I’m on day 8 of withdrawal after stopping CT.  The buzzing feeling is awful today. I’m also nervous about seizures, even though I’m not sure my dosage was high enough for long enough to cause seizures. My anxiety comes in waves for most of the day. Finding this website has been so helpful. There’s a lot of good information about different supplements to take that may speed healing. Good luck to you!

Just stick with your cold turkey, the worst of it should be over within a week. I've been though cold turkey xanax several times.  I know everyone is different but you haven't taken it for that long this time.  Lately I have been using xanax as a hangover cure as well but have to be very very very careful with it. Trying to only use it sparingly.  But it's tempting to me sad to say, sometimes i want to take it more.  Sticking to my guns on this.  Your hardest part should be over in a week.

Diesal,

Here is my take on your situation. Like you, I have battled problems with alcohol almost all of my life. of my life. I was a "hippie" back in 1968, so I used to do all sorts of street drugs. That quickly ended as NONE of them made me feel good. I began taking benzos for bad insomnia. I started taking them in 1982, when I started my first RN job after graduating. I AM Nurse Jackie, if you know of her TV show. Or House. I took benzos every night for 20 years and then found a wiling psyh doc to prescribe them to me. I ended up tking huge doses of benzos for thirty years. NOT good. And my heal began to get worse, and worse. I felt weak, I had a lot of pain, I had trouble walking. I assumed I had some awful disease so saw Neurologsts, etc. They said I might have MS, or Parkinsons, and I was definitly told I had fibromyalgia. NONE of them thought my drugs were the cause of my issues. So I kept taking them.

My health continued to fail and I started falling...a LOT. I broke several bones in those many falls. Spent way too much time in hospitals and rehabs. And not once did doctors think my psych drugs were at fault.

Finally, my doctor figured out it WAS my drugs and between him and the psych doc I was abruptly cut off: cold turkey. And my withdrawal was simply awful and almost beyond belief. I stayed in this state for over a year and only slowly improved after that.

Well, I somehow healed even thought it took me a lot longer than most people. And when I began to feel better, my overall healthy began to improve. Slowly slowly, I lost ALL my old symptoms, the ones doctors told me meant I had Fibro or MS. I stopped falling. I felt so much better...and all of this due to my getting off benzos and SSRIs. And I do not think my case is that unusual. I have now been on BB for about 8 years. Along the way I have met others going through something similar.

 

Michellecww3, a cold turkey does NOT last about 2 weeks. Mine lasted several years. You might want to read some of my SS or Blog. both have the same name: Eastcoasts Trip. You might learn a bit there.

 

Seizures: all of us fear this one. And rightly so. But in reality, seizures rarely happen and usually to people who were also taking street drugs OR drinking a lot of alcohol.

 

Diesel, this IS your wake up call. Please take heed. Listen to your inner voice, as it usually is going to be correct. (Your NON medicated inner voice-) People like you and I do tend to make decisions when we are already a bit impaired, be it with alcohol, benzos or whatever. But when you are NOT medicated, listen to that tiny voice, the one that makes you know you are YOU. THAT inner voice will usually tell you what is best for you. And after it does, fight to get this back. People call this "go with your gut". I call it an inner voice. You may have to relax a bit in order to HEAR that voice. But it WILL tell you hat to do.

Whatever happens, I so hope you continue this journey off of benzos and alcohol.

If I can be of better help to you, let me know.

east

Eastcoast62  re read his comment.  Most recently he only took xanax for 2-3 weeks. That's such a short amount of time that yes his withdrawal may be over soon.  If he was on them longer then yes it could last longer. 

I learned long ago here that what "should" happen often doesnt. Benzo wd is unpredictable. I have met folks who took benzos for maybe 2 weeks and had a horrific wd. And some who took them for many years, went CT without ANY trouble. I can only guess at why this is. Maybe these drugs affect people in slightly different ways...? I wish we knew more about this, but we really dont. Research on this is pretty much NIL.

So now, when I read a post like this one by Diesal, I also know that just about anything is possible. Our job is to try to give people a boost up, emotionally, and give some reassurance that how they feel IS normal. That is what BB is all about, giving support to those in need of it. We do this with good intentions. We want to help. I know that without BB I would have failed horribly, reinstated and would now be dead. That is how real it is for me.

I am aware Diesal has other problems beyond benzos. And that is fine as well. BB 's goal is to try to help people without being psychologists or therapists. We are NOT those things. Just faceless people on a computer screen.

Diesal, would you let us know how you are doing?

east