Evil intrusive thoughts

I don't even want to post this question, but...has anyone experienced intrusive thoughts that are downright evil? Or felt like Satan and his minions were trying to attack and destroy one's soul? This is what has been happening the past couple of weeks, and it terrifies me. I pray and ask God for help, but, as my swallowing and breathing problems worsen, so do the wicked "voices" that tell me I'm doomed and would be better off dead. Never in my life have I experienced anything like this.

I know what you’re talking about. You might have to put up with it for a while, but it does go away. Try and accept it as just a symptom that will go in time.

Yes. Oh yes. I had this bad.

 

Everything around me had an absolute sinister feel, even tv shows like Friends that I was familiar with. It was like looking at the world through evil goggles. I couldn't shake it and during the nights, it got much worse when I dreamed or was awake at night.

 

I could not access God either and there were too many nights to count where I would lie awake BAWLING and praying for Him to help me and make it go away.

 

And it did go away. Eventually. I wanna say at 6 months it lessened and gradually got better over time. I only feel  that way once in awhile now.

 

Hang tight. It is only temporary but you just have to dig really, really dip and hold on until then. 

Those are the lie that you need to ignore. It is difficult but that is just an illusion and unreal.

I had this one too. I feel having this is normal for us but that doesnt make them easier to bear.

The way I see this is that these awful thoughts arise from our temporarily injured brains (due to benzos). My guess is that each of us has certain subjects/concerns and those things take new form in our minds...the ugly side of them. This stuff is SO hard to describe!

I will give you an example. I love animals, all of them. But especially, I happen to love ordinary cats. I relate to them. If you have a pet, you know what I mean, be it a dog, or a ferret, or whatever. During the worst part of my awful cold turkey I was watching TV. The Fox Channel showed a video of a man abusing a kitten. My heart went blank, I was so horrified and disgusted. That poor kitten was already dead, but the torture it suffered broke my heart. I turned my TV OFF and did not each TV again for almost 8 years, thanks to this on Fox TV. I wrote emails to them. They didnt bother to reply.

 

I seldom talk about this now. But this thread told me to mention it. Intrusive thoughts are horrifying. And nothing you do will banish them. For a long time, when  I had images of that kitten in my mind, I would say "Go away. I dont need you. I dont want you, referring to the thoughts, NOT that kitten. This sort of worked. But even NOW, those images remain fixed in my mind.

 

And I hope that man is in jail now. Hopefully FOREVER. I am sure he had been abused as a child. And that is why he did this ugly, horrifying thing. Personally, I hope he is dead.

east

Yes, I had intrusive scary thoughts too.  I also had some anger issues as well.  All of this lasted about 3-4 months then slowly faded.  It's a somewhat common WD symptom.  It will fade for you too.

Horrible intrusive thoughts with anger have been my worst symptoms. Won't go into any specifics because I just got unblocked from moderation. It's a daily torture. They rob you of your ability to want to do anything.

Hey Boomboxboy,

 

Sorry to hear you are still dealing with this and I know you don't want to hear that it will just take more time, but that is the truth and the truth will set you free one day for sure!

Hey Boomboxboy,

 

Sorry to hear you are still dealing with this and I know you don't want to hear that it will just take more time, but that is the truth and the truth will set you free one day for sure!

 

I'm just horribly depressed still. Job seems meaningless. Not looking forward to summer break. Nothing about the future excites me. And I've stopped doing things for fun because it doesn't help me long term to fake it through those things anymore. I never could have imagined this would last this long and I am feeling increasingly hopeless.

Yes, horrible demonic presence, feeling of ancient ms,e demonic presence inside screaming ‘lat me out you bitch’ , ppls faces morphing into demons, feeling like divert filled with evil presence that was trying to kill me, lots of demonic shot in dreams.

 

Was on benzo for muscles, no previous MH issues. Freaking terrifying and prob goi g to have to go through it again as re-taper and get off.

Hey Boomboxboy,

 

Sorry to hear you are still dealing with this and I know you don't want to hear that it will just take more time, but that is the truth and the truth will set you free one day for sure!

 

I'm just horribly depressed still. Job seems meaningless. Not looking forward to summer break. Nothing about the future excites me. And I've stopped doing things for fun because it doesn't help me long term to fake it through those things anymore. I never could have imagined this would last this long and I am feeling increasingly hopeless.

 

Sorry to learn about your depression.  I wish I had a good answer for you, but I don't.  I am not a big fan of ADs as there is a lot of evidence (clinical studies, research, etc.) that claim they are not much more effective than a placebo for many?  Of course the medical community will tell you that you need an AD to deal with depression. 

 

Have you tried changing your diet at all?  Food is the fuel that creates our genetic expression.  Traditional western medicine says we are bound by our genetics, so why fight it?  I completely disagree.  Yes we have genes and a genetic history, but those don't change; we can't change our genes, but we can change our genetic expression through diet and exercise.  New research indicates that up to 80% or more of our immune system is in our "gut" or intestinal biome.  Maybe try the innate diet by Dr. Czys?  Dr. Czys was actually a former student of mine and athlete that I coached in football many years ago.  The link is below:

 

https://smile.amazon.com/Truth-About-Weight-Loss-Overweight/dp/057822111X/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?dchild=1&keywords=innate+diet+by+dr.+czys&qid=1589292816&sr=8-1-fkmr0

Sorry to hijack this thread. Theway2, I'm starting to understand that I must be dealing with trauma both from my childhood, early adulthood, and from this experience with benzos. I'm trying some new therapies to figure it out. I don't think I was as well as I thought prior to this. Still, I don't think I was this bad, but I wasn't well either. There is a reason I went on benzos in 2010.

Hope you can figure it out.  But again, even if the "medical experts" figure it out, what is their solution?  They rarely have anything other than another Rx drug to "fix" the issue.  We all know Rx drugs don't fix mental issues, but simply mask symptoms.  That's why I am hoping and praying you find a non Rx solution that actually works.

Yes. Oh yes. I had this bad.

 

Everything around me had an absolute sinister feel, even tv shows like Friends that I was familiar with. It was like looking at the world through evil goggles. I couldn't shake it and during the nights, it got much worse when I dreamed or was awake at night.

 

I could not access God either and there were too many nights to count where I would lie awake BAWLING and praying for Him to help me and make it go away.

 

And it did go away. Eventually. I wanna say at 6 months it lessened and gradually got better over time. I only feel  that way once in awhile now.

 

Hang tight. It is only temporary but you just have to dig really, really dip and hold on until then. 

 

I can relate. I cannot oftrn access God. And people and TV seems sinister. Good to know it may be transient.