NAD+ Infusions for Benzodiazepine PAWS [A Journal]

[TL;DR at bottom]

 

Hi guys,

 

I come and post here fairly infrequently but I used to be on here every day and you all have provided me with tremendous support each time I come here after relapse - which unfortunately has been quite a few times now - and I thought that maybe my experience coming up next week might provide some insight into NAD+ treatment and whether or not it's worth trying for you. Obviously this is experience is my experience alone and I can't tell you what will and won't work for you. We're all incredibly unique and what works for some may not work for others. That being said I wanted to give you a little bit of my history with benzodiazepine withdrawal and then tell you what my aforementioned plan is, so that maybe I can reach someone who is in a similar place as me and hopefully be of some semblance of help.

 

[For those who don't know what NAD+ treatment is, here is a link to an accurate and descriptive article about it - https://kenstarrmd.com/nad-for-benzodiazepine-withdrawal/. I've heard positive things about this doctor (he's not mine) and have read the article myself and it aligns with what my current psychiatrist is telling me]

 

This is my sixth time withdrawing from benzos and I have kindled. The first four times I attempted to get off I was not warned by any medical health professional that there would be any negative repercussions to discontinuing the medication they had put me on when I was 15. Each time I seemingly got worse, but there was so much else going on in my life and so many people I trusted telling me that it was all just "physical symptoms of anxiety" that I never even suspected a withdrawal.

 

Finally when I was 22 I woke up one summer day and realized I had no recollection of anything that had happened in the last four years. I was taking 4mg of Clonazepam and drinking 8-16 drinks daily. When I finally decided to put myself into detox, they tapered me over the course of (IIRC) two weeks. I felt great for about 10 days after, then everything came crashing down. Hallucinations, high blood pressure, burning skin, suicidal thoughts, no sleep, 24/7 panic... the works. I had no clue what was going on. After a stint in a psych ward, a few doctors and some testing I finally found a neurologist who kindly pointed out that I was very clearly in benzo withdrawal.

 

I stayed clean for about 16 months, the whole time suffering symptoms of PAWS. I caved as soon as I started working again. Just one Xanax. The very next day I was in full blown withdrawal again, so I figured "I'll just get some more and quickly taper myself". It's now been seven months since that day. Last month, after f*cking up over and over and over again for months I finally got myself down to 1.5mg Diazepam daily, reached out to every psychiatrist within 100 miles asking if anyone has ever worked with patients in my position and I finally found a specialist (the luckiest thing to ever happen to me in my life) in my area who has worked with dozens of people in benzo withdrawal and is a psychiatrist at the Mayo Clinic as well.

 

This doctor has set out a plan for me that he says has helped patients with a far deeper history of benzo use and PAWS. Starting on Sunday I will entirely discontinue my remaining Diazepam and then first thing on Monday I begin NAD+ infusions. I'll be doing 10 infusions, 10 hours each, 10 consecutive days, starting on May 11 going through May 21.  I'm incredibly nervous and to be honest, genuinely terrified that I'm just going to end up back the way I was last year. I don't know if I could do it all again... I've been either taking benzos or in withdrawal for 40% of my life. 10 years out of 25 now. Honestly I'm have serious difficulty having faith in any doctor now. I don't trust a single one. But I absolutely have to try this, and if it works even 30% as well as he says it does then I can definitely make it.

 

I'll keep you guys updated throughout the process. I don't know if this will even help me, nonetheless anyone else... but if it does work then I feel obligated to keep you guys up to date. The only other posts I've seen on NAD+ have either been one-off posts or it being someones first time. I thought it would be worth something to chronicle this from start to finish with precise information coming from someone who has been through PAWS, has kindled and knows what the real hell of this withdrawal process really is.

 

And, selfishly, I'm really scared to do this on my own again, and I need a place to vent this. Regardless of the end result, this is going to be a really, really difficult few weeks and I'm absolutely fucking terrified at the thought of ever being back in that head-space again. Thank all of you for being the only people who truly understand and thanks for taking the time to read this. I'll see you guys again in a few days.

 

Best,

Jason

 

TL;DR: I'm starting NAD+ infusions after six failed cessations and 10 years of on and off withdrawal. I'm going to write me experiences here, from start to finish, in hopes that I can maybe be a guinea pig for anyone who is wondering about the treatment, and also so I don't have to do this journey alone. I am not advising you to do the treatment yourself, I just want to detail what a real NAD+ treatment looks like and feels like from start to finish for anyone interested.

I'm discontinuing my diazepam in 12 hours in preparation for the infusions.

 

Here goes nothing.

Day 1

 

Just finishing the first of 10 NAD+ infusion sessions. I came in having not slept since Sunday morning, having closed eye/waking dreams, burning skin, lethargy, join pain, light sensitivity and involuntary eye movements.

 

I started a 10 hour drip of 1500mg NAD+ IV formula at 0800 PST. It's now 1836 PST. I have 20 minutes left of the first infusion. I had to do my drip a bit slower than normal, as it was overwhelming at first. It feels somewhere in between a full body niacin rush and an overwhelming pressure all over, but it's not painful, only a bit uncomfortable. Since I started the infusion this morning I have had zero withdrawal symptoms whatsoever. We'll see if it lasts through the evening.

 

I didn't expect to have no symptoms whatsoever. I'm having a more positive outlook on this treatment. Let's hope it lasts.

Day 2

 

1107 I'm currently 2.5 hours into my second treatment of 1500mg of NAD+ IV infusions. When I left yesterday I had zero withdrawal symptoms. By the time I arrived home I had some muscle tightness and a little lethargy (but that's likely because I had only slept an untimely 4.5 hours in the last two days while sitting in a chair doing my first infusion), but I fell asleep instantly and slept through the night. I woke up feeling refreshed and clear-headed. I drove myself to treatment today, which is a feat unto itself because I have a deathly fear of being away from medical help while by myself.

 

My commute consisted of a 10 minute drive to a ferry boat (I live on an island off the coast of Seattle), a 40 minute ferry boat ride to downtown Seattle (which is a ghost town because of Covid-19 currently), then another 25 minute drive to the psychiatry office where I get my treatment. I did not have a single symptom of withdrawal, nor did I have any anxiety or panic. I read my book on the boat, and I was able to read and comprehend things seemingly to my full ability which I can safely say I haven't been able to do in five or more years.

 

This is looking more and more promising every hour, but we'll see how it holds up.

Good luck. I've heard of NAD+ but not in this context.

 

There are some truly remarkable stories of recovery here. I believe we can all be one of those. This is a brave step you're taking. I believe you can and will win if you truly believe victory is the only option.

 

Godspeed

I used to chat with a woman who did NAD+ in Seattle (for benzo withdrawal) on Facebook. She had great success with it as well, unfortunately the group she was posting in wasn’t supportive of her treatment and she ended up leaving the group. It sounds like something that works well for some. I hope you continue to feel and do well with it!

Day 4

 

Sorry for the lack of update on Day 3, but there was no real change aside from lowering my dose from 1500mg in 1000ml to 1000mg in 1000ml. I will stay at this for today then tomorrow I will go down to 750mg of NAD+ in 500ml of water.

 

Today I'm sleepy, but still no symptoms of withdrawal. I woke up at 1am last night for a couple hours but it felt like normal sleeplessness, not the tossing, turning, sweating, painful, nightmarish sleepless nights of withdrawal. The days are getting shorter on the IV. The first two days it was 10 hours. Today and yesterday are only 6 1/2 hours. Tomorrow will be 5 hours.

 

I'm hoping and praying that this keeps up. All signs are pointing to a positive outcome in some way, shape or form, but I still have to keep in mind that the valium, no matter how little of an amount, is still very much in my system.

 

The other thing that's worth noting is that I've definitely had some heart palpitations while on the IV. The doctor said this wasn't unusual and we could reduce the ML/hr to reduce that if I'd like, but I told him it was ok if he thought it was safe and he told me it was normal so I'm just going to be ok with it for now, even though I'd say 60% of my anxiety is heart-centric.

 

@krocksteady Thank you. I really believe that no matter what I can get through this now. I think the daunting part is the idea that my withdrawals would somehow be worse than last time, but I'm confident at least that they won't be drastically worse.

 

@kitsune556 That's really interesting, I wonder if she came to the same place as me. As far as I can tell there's only this one place for it. Small world. Thanks for the support. Really hoping this keeps up.

Following. Thinking about doing NAD therapy myself.

Also following! Thank you for the updates! Best wishes!

Following, best luck with everything!!

Following. Thinking about doing NAD therapy myself.

When you say yourself you mean “by yourself?” Like at home with oral supplements?

Or an IV therapy like this one??

When you say yourself you mean “by yourself?” Like at home with oral supplements?

Or an IV therapy like this one??

 

Guess I meant to say for myself, in a clinic. I did see a few threads on reddit where people were talking about administering NAD IVs on themselves at home, there's no way I'd dare to do that, though.

 

I've been talking to a clinic where I live that does NAD, highly considering it.

When you say yourself you mean “by yourself?” Like at home with oral supplements?

Or an IV therapy like this one??

 

Guess I meant to say for myself, in a clinic. I did see a few threads on reddit where people were talking about administering NAD IVs on themselves at home, there's no way I'd dare to do that, though.

 

I've been talking to a clinic where I live that does NAD, highly considering it.

Thanks for clarifying!! Haha I would never do it either

I am looking forward to the next update and praying for good results.  THANK YOU For sharing this with us.

Day 5

 

Down to 750mg NAD+ in 500ml drip today. It was a lot more manageable to sit in a chair for 5 hours instead of 7.5 or 11. I fell asleep at midnight last night and slept until 10:00, but I've noticed my sleep is really light. I'm not waking up feeling rested and I've been waking up at the slightest sounds. Still no real symptoms other than that. I'm still incredibly surprised at my lack of anxiety. I've had one very minor panic attack (if you could even call it that) night before last, but aside from that I've been able to drive by myself on the freeway, speak to people I've not met before without mentally breaking down, enjoy the sunshine and stay on my feet for the rest of the day. Any one of those things would normally be near-impossible for me.

 

EDIT: I did want to edit this in because I'd forgotten about it, probably because this has been normal for me for a while, but I have had pretty bad stomach cramps and bowel movements have been sporadic and fairly unpleasant. The doctor told me that this happens somewhat often with NAD+ infusions and his laymen way of describing it to me was that "NAD+ puts the body into a kind of overdrive and it can affect your gut, as well as some heart palpitations here and there while on the IV itself, but that can go away if you don't mind staying longer and slowing down the drip."

 

Things are still looking promising but I'm still trying to keep my expectations low and stay present - enjoy the time I have now feeling the way I do without having to take poison to function. It's the most free I've felt in years. To be completely honest I think I'd be happy if withdrawal still came on full force... it's been such a blessing these last five days to be able to speak to people without the little voice in the back of my head constantly saying "you sound stupid" or "you're dying", and not having eye twitching, muscle spasms, randomly crying, burning skin... it's just like... I'm just a normal guy right now. Well... a normal guy who spends most of his day with on an IV drip... but a normal guy nonetheless. I kind of never thought I'd feel this way again, and so even if it's just for the moment I'm trying to cherish it as much as I can.

 

Tomorrow I'll be back to 750mg in 500ml. I'll be continuing this dose for the remaining five sessions. I'm still not at a point where I want to tell you guys that this is the answer. A big part of me is still very much expecting this to be a freak coincidence and I'm actually still on the fast-track for years of hell... trying to keep my mind from going there right now.

 

I've been writing this kind of as a strictly as a journal for NAD+, but you guys are kind of my only real outlet to talk to people who know what all this is really like. I don't really want to share this with other people because I'll sound kind of crazy, but I'm starting to think that my goals in life aren't just a dream. Since I was 18 I always wanted to travel to Japan to work with children somewhere in the countryside. I've spent the last seven years learning Japanese on-and-off (mostly off because learning anything substantial has been incredibly difficult through the benzos) and keeping it in my head that I'll go one day... but I'm realizing now that I never actually planned on going. It was a dream that I kept in the back of my head to keep me happy. I've been tricking myself for the better part of a decade, and what I'm coming to understand about myself is that I'd given up on a real life a long time ago.

 

I haven't gone more than 10 miles away from my home by myself without breaking down and panicking in years. There hasn't been a season where I haven't at least gone to the hospital for panic once, if not five or more times. Really the only reason I stopped going is out of pure embarrassment. I've barely been able to work, and the only reason I've been able to hold a steady job for the last little bit is because I slowed down my taper to a snails pace. I started taking kratom too just to give me something to feel, and it backfired as well. I'd lost my confidence along with everything else when I was twenty... but I can feel that coming back. It seems crazy to me even writing this now, but even just feeling "normal" for a few days has brought me back to my old self. I'm still apprehensive about this treatment and it's effectiveness, but if it really does stick, I can be me again. I might really be able to have a life; meet people, travel, work, make connections, sleep, maybe even one day go out to coffee with someone... it seems like a small thing but the idea of me sitting alone with another person and sipping on a drink that contains caffeine, just... chatting... things like that haven't even been a passing thought for years. Even just writing this out has me crying at my keyboard... I never thought I could think about things like this again without lying to myself.

 

Who knows... maybe this will all work out.

I am happy for you, thank you so much for sharing.

Day 6

 

About to head to bed, but much of the same. 750mg in 500ml. Extremely tired. My only two symptoms (if you can even really call them that) are gastrointestinal issues and incredibly unfulfilling sleep. I seem to be consistently falling asleep at a decent hour without any pills or supplements, but when I wake up I feel extremely tired but also cannot go back to sleep. I'm still making it through my days just fine, but my crows feet are getting worse and I'm starting to get headaches from how tired I am.

 

He prescribed me a few doses of Depikote (Valporic Acid), a seizure med, for sleep. I haven't taken it yet because I'm hoping my body can adjust on its own. If it doesn't within the next night or two I'll try it. I also forgot to mention that he's been giving me high doses of magnesium, calcium, vitamin B12 and a couple other things while I'm on the IV. I'll list the supplements he's been giving me when I get in to the office tomorrow.

 

Today I got to see my step-brother, play some video games, make dinner and spent some time talking to family on the phone about life things, completely unrelated to benzo withdrawal. Another "normal" day. Hoping it's one of many.

 

I hope all of you reading this are doing well. I hope that maybe if this works for me, after a couple months of success linked together I can come back and tell you guys that this was the right move and maybe you can do it too. Until then, I hope you all get further along in healing and can enjoy your day, even if it's just for a few moments.

Thank you for telling us about the supplements in the IV as well.  Important information!

Thanks for this.

 

Any idea of this can help extreme muscle contracture, rigidity?

Does it seem to help your tightness?

 

Also can it get rid of nervous system sensitisation?

 

I can’t take magnesium, B12, Vit D, any meds even aspirin or paracetemol/Tylenol without horrific effects ranging from hallucinations, head fizzing, sweating, heat in spine, muscles going weak and collapsing (relaxing but in bad way), terror of sounds etc.

 

Even Alpha  Lipoic Acid, Serrapeptase etc causes these things.

 

Finally, do you know if this is safe of you have a lot of mercury in mouth? Would it chelate it like many string antioxidants do?

Thank you for sharing! I hope you do not need to take the Valporic Acid to sleep.

Day 8

 

Hey guys so I just wanted to let you know, I'm taking a day off from the treatment because I had a temperature of 100.6 yesterday. I think it's probably from a lack of sleep but I'll be getting tested for Covid-19 today.

 

I hardly slept last night so I think this is a good time for me to rest at home in my own bed. I feel very strange today. Not panicky and not... symptomatic. Just strange. Right now I'd chalk it up to lack of sleep and feeling under the weather for a few too many days in a row without a proper amount of rest.

 

I see that I had a couple questions about sensitivity and such and I'll try to answer more thoroughly when I've gotten a bit more rest, but I can also tell you right off the bat that there are a ton of questions I just simply can't answer. There are a lot of things I've heard and read about NAD+, but I'm not a doctor and I'm using it strictly in hopes of preventing the brunt of PAWS from benzodiazepines. It seems to be working so far, but like I said in previous posts, I really won't go ahead and recommend this to anyone until I have strung together weeks or months of symptomless days. There is still not a lot of hard science to back this treatment and I did this out of a place of desperation. It has yielded positive results for many people it seems, but these are all anecdotal. I linked a website that has some basic information on NAD+ in my first post if you'd like to read more there.

 

I'll update you guys on everything after I've gotten some much needed rest and am back at the clinic.

Take care and we are praying for you.  Thanks for letting us know your status.  All that traveling to get the infusion would wipe me out too so I am SO GLAD you are going to take the time to rest.  Stay hydrated.

 

Jenny K

Sounds like a good idea to take a bit of a breather. I've been following, and am super interested in your outcome. I am thinking of giving the treatment a go. Thanks for keeping this journal for us.

Day 10

 

Hello! Sorry for the little break there, I needed some time to just shut down for a bit. Even though I feel great my sleep quality is just really low so I'm a bit tuckered out. This is my last day though! For now at least. I have one more hour left on my IV then my doctor heads back to Mayo Clinic for two weeks so I'll be taking a break and assessing how I feel. He said some people have as many as 15 more sessions after their first 10, some people don't require a second round at all, so just feel it out and see how I feel in the upcoming weeks.

 

As or the supplements he has me taking three Dr Cass "Calm Natural Mind" [nobbc](https://www.amazon.com/Hyla-Natural-Stress-Relief-Formula/dp/B0155LGBOC)[/nobbc], three N-Acytal Cysteine, and six chelated magnesium, calcium and zinc. I didn't catch the exact amount of all of these, but I'll update you with those if anyone is curious about the exact amounts. Also I'm not linking that with the intention of you purchasing it, I just wanted to show you exactly what it was.

 

Yesterday my car completely broke down; engine overheated, smoking, battery died... the works. I was able to handle it without outside help, without panicking, rearranged my schedule and dealt with it as it came and I felt great about it. I haven't been able to handle driving alone in the last few years, nonetheless actually dealing with real "normal" problems.

 

So I think I'm going to change this from a daily journal into an update journal, so a few times a week. I'll be going back home and quarantining again after this, so I imagine there won't be a whole lot to update on, but I'll definitely be updating any time there is any changes in how I feel or any improvements or changes in my sleep.

 

Right now on Day 10 I'm experiencing;

 

Occasional heart palpitations, tight muscles (I assume that's from sitting/laying for 20 hours a day), easily disturbed sleep

 

What I expected to be experiencing at this stage based off previous experience;

 

Skin burning, scattered thinking, negative thoughts, muscle twitching, involuntary eye movements, sensitivity to light, sensitivity to sound, shaking, constant anxiety, 3-10 panic attacks daily, rapid heart rate, high blood pressure, temperature misregulation, jaw tightness, teeth soreness, clenching, sweating, cravings for things to take me out of the discomfort and thoughts of self harm.

 

I can safely say, so far, I've had none of those. So, so far, this treatment has been incredibly successful. I'm as happy as I've been in years and truly have hope for the future. I've been sober from all other substances for seven months as of today and it's the most comfortable I've been in my skin since before my very first panic attack.

 

Even if I'm not actively writing anything on a day to day basis I'll definitely still be here checking in, so if anyone has any questions they feel like I can answer, ask away. I can't give you medical advice and I'm still on the fence about telling anyone that this has been a "success" and that they should pursue NAD+ treatment, but I'll answer any personal questions, anything about my experience, about the clinic or anything else (excluding names and places). It's been fantastic so far but the real test will be between 30 and 60 days from now, when the benzos are entirely out of my system and there's no other chemicals in my body.

 

See you all again tomorrow.

 

Best,

Jason

 

PS I just wanted to thank all of you for coming here and reading. Even if you're not saying anything I feel like I have a group of people I can trust to just come to and be honest about everything I'm feeling. I still don't really trust doctors and I don't like being completely honest with my family about everything anymore. You guys coming and reading have provided me with a kind of backbone that I normally don't have. I can handle most things life throws at me on my own, but there's a safety in having you guys here that's pretty irreplaceable. I hope that after this is all done I can tell you it worked and that maybe you can find some relief in it as well. Thank all of you so much.

 

Edit: Deactivated commercial link

What a great update. Doing as well as you're doing 10 days after a jump from 1.5 mg is remarkable. I am currently talking NAD clinic in my city and I think I'm going to do it. Waiting on the results of a few labs that they need before they can proceed with anything.

 

Few questions:

What did you do about work? Did you take the time off? I'm already working remote (due to covid), so I'm wondering if I could just bring my computer and work during my sessions. Do you think you were in a state of mind where you could have done, oh say, some light web design while you were there? Maybe hop on a phone call or two throughout the day?

 

My clinic says based on my labs they'll create a custom pre/post treatment for IVs to purify before the NAD, and then other supplemental IVs after to take care of other underlying issues or deficiencies. Did yours do anything like that? Do you think that would be necessary? I'm really worried to do any of the supplement IVs since our systems are so fragile in benzo WD.

 

Thanks again for keeping this journal.