3 years 9 months Benzo Free Today

I am 3 years 9 months Benzo free (or 45 months for those that like to count that way) today. 

 

Recovery/healing from Benzos was by far the worst experience of my life, but I made it through and now consider myself 100% recovered from symptoms (and have been for about 2 years now) and 95% recovered regarding sleep.

 

I say 95% because my sleep is not the same as it was pre-Benzo.  I get about 6-8 hours every night but still wake up 2-4 times or more a night. Most of the time I fall back to sleep pretty easily but other times it takes awhile.  However,  the sleep I get now is refreshing sleep and so much better than the zero nights (or nights of no perceived sleep) that were very common the first 10 months off.

 

Sleep returns.  It just takes time and more time.  It comes back in fits and starts, like the stock market.  Early on in my WD, I would be super excited if I nodded off for even a few minutes when I went to bed.  Today,  I expect to get at least 5 or 6 hours or more every night.

 

The key is to be patient, to distract, to show gratitude for any and all sleep, to not use Dr. Google, to not reach for something to sleep with (if possible) either Rx, OTC, or herbal, and to not put time lines on when your healing/recovery should end.

 

Recovery/healing are unique to each person and play out on their own time line. 

 

I used to punch the pillows, toss and turn, swear, etc., when I couldn't sleep.  I have learned many coping skills along the way, but the best one is to not expect any sleep.  That's what helped me to get an extra 15 minutes or more at night during months 6-10 after I jumped CT.  Now I can easily get an extra hour or two if I wake up at 2:00, 3:00 or 4:00 am.  In the past, I was awake the rest of the night for sure.

 

I also learned that as we age, we need less sleep and get less sleep and wake up more. 

 

If you are in the "thick"of your WD and insomnia is one of your main symptoms, I highly recommend reading through this "Insomnia" forum and the previous pages on this insomnia thread.  There are lots of great answers to all of your questions.  You just have to dig a bit and you'll find them.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Congratulations on 3 years 9 months ThEwAy2!  And thanks for sharing your hard won words of wisdom! 

 

 

ThEwAy2, Congratulations! You give me hope, even though I mostly feel that I will never get any better than this.

Thanks for staying with us and letting us know how it one day will be.

NG

 

your posts have inspired me throughout my journey. during some of my dark days your experience gave me hope and strength. i am 2 months benzo free and my sleep continues to improve. thanks for helping me & others thru the darkness.

Thanks to everyone that replied.  I am glad I can "pay it forward" by offering advice and hope!