Cold turkey Hospital lawsuit?

So every single day that I sit here going through benzo withdrawal, I think about how much the hospital made me suffer against my will last year. I was actually in and out of the hospital three times. And all three times, they made me cold turkey. The first one I was at was about exactly a year ago, I went there for suicidal thoughts From Klonopin, and when I got there they were accusing me of being a drug dealer and selling my 240 Klonopin tablets per month and making a thousand bucks a month or something off the street. I don't even know where they came up with that, but the cop was completely out of line and the doctor did not bring me down or taper me , he just cut it cold turkey. The doctor and the police officer interrogated me instead of treating my symptoms and helping me out. Completely malpractice no question about it. And then I was there for 8 days and they sent me home in a taxi in the middle of the summer time and almost had a seizure while leaving the hospital. So it made me think, wouldn't the hospital be accountable for something? Like wouldn't that be medical malpractice and wouldn't I be able to get money from that? These hospitals do more harm than good when it comes to benzo withdrawal. We are not even out of seizure territory until a couple months in. Basically it's pointless other than having vitals taken. But it feels like we're in prison when we go through it. Needless to say, there's been other hospitals and other bad experiences. I'm pretty sure everybody on this website is aware of how horrible these hospitals can be when coming off of medications. And I'm not bashing doctors, I'm just bashing that one I went to because of medical malpractice. I think he should lose his license or pay money, or both. Has anybody else tried to get money out of a hospital? While I'm stuck at home, I'm thinking to myself, why not make these people's lives just as difficult as they made mine? I'm sure it's better just to move on and think positively but sometimes it's impossible when I'm reminded of these hospitals.

I don’t necessarily want money but I too went through same experience with a dr. He was so condescending and repeatedly threatened to commit me to the state hospital. He most likely wound have been able to have done that since I had been in and out of the hospital with my cold turkey withdrawal. I was terrified of being committed so I left the hospital and tried to push through long term high dose Ativan withdrawal. It was a torturous experience and during that time there didn’t seem to be this forum or any other good resources available to look to for support.  My family and I went through hell. I suffered tremendously- to my self for the most part. It’s been 3 years since that time- I am just now posting poor reviews for that doctor. During that time I seriously thought I was going crazy and lived in so much fear of being forced to leave my family. It was needless and so entirely wrong in a place like the USA to live through such tremendous suffering. It truly did not have to have been that way

 

Guys,

I am speaking as a nurse now. All of us have a responsibilty to deal with our problems safely and not depend on someone else to do this.

Addictions are very difficult to deal with. It is hard to even admit you ARE addicted. I know I felt that way. I abused benzos for thirty years. Read my Blog, fellas. I am right down with you two, believe me. The first step is to admit you ARE addicted. That alone is scary.

The hospital and doctors were simply doing their jobs as the LAW tells them to. No one was being cruel to you. I feel they wanted to help you, but your attitude kept them from that.

 

I am now speaking as a survivor of benzos. NOT as a nurse,. I took and abused benzos for thirty damn years.If you ever saw the TV Shows Nurse Jackie or House, you know my story.  Benzos came so close to killing me. And during those many years I denied I had a problem. My health began to fail after 20 years on benzos. I became frail and weak. I began to fall a lot. And did I ever think it was my benzos? Hell, no. I loved them way too much.

 

I was forced to go cold turkey by my doctor. And I do not regret this at all. I am grateful he did that.

If you didnt want their help, why did you GO to the hospital? What were your expectations??

 

240 Klonapin tablets a month is almost beyond belief. I dont know where you live, but where I do, NO DOCTOR WOULD WRITE A SCRIP FOR THAT MANY BENZO TABLETS. Benzos are now regulated stricter, just as narcotics are. That alone is really shocking.

 

Both of you might want to read my Blog. Just the first few pages.

You might learn something that could actually help you.

I wish you only some sort of healing from this.

east

Yes - I get the addiction/dependence aspect and my part in it. However- I truly was in a mental health crises- I don’t exaggerate that point. I guess my point I guess is that abruptly stopping these meds is completely dangerous  It truly was a life and death situation in my case. By some huge grace me and my family made it through but only after much upheaval.  I am glad that I think I am god willing- done with benzos. They are powerful mind altering in such an awful way- and when you are prescribed the the effects happen so subletly there is no way no notice what is so dangerously happening. I have beat myself up and felt so much shame around my time with benzodiazepines. I do believe though that I recieved very poor care under that doctor- life and death situations in any other illness would be realized and treated with every means possible to bring relief and recovery.

 

Really good points. I actually sit here and Ponder these points every single day all day long. The whole addiction vs dependence thing. And I think it's both. I'm starting to realize that yeah I was supposed to take them and the doctor prescribed them, and it was for an anxiety condition and it was just medication, but maybe they are so addictive that we get addicted after just a couple. Maybe we only need to take them for a day to get addicted to them. I guess if you have anxiety, they do make you feel good. They don't give you great Euphoria like opiates or something, which I've had that problem as well, but they calm you down which is a good feeling. I just don't understand why doctors don't have a problem with us taking them, they only have a problem with us after we stopped taking them. Like my doctor that was prescribing the huge amount of 240 1 mg tablets of Klonopin per month, that's 16 1/2 mg tablets every day. And my doctors in Colorado and Florida and North Carolina, they all prescribed really big amount. On my diazepam I was taking 40 mg a day. On my Klonopin, depending on the doctor and which state it was, it was anywhere from 6 mg to 8 mg a day. They were prescribing me 5 mg a day at 17 years old and I'm 37 almost and took them for 20 years. I guess that explains why I always had so many left over. If I had been prescribed a small amount, maybe I would have overtaken them. But obviously we're physically dependent or we wouldn't be going through withdrawal. I just don't like being called a drug addict because I was told to take them every single month by both my doctor and pharmacist. But I guess nobody likes being called a drug addict so maybe I will just accept the term. Like all I thought about all day long everyday was benzos and I carried them in my pocket. I even had a pill container in my change pocket. I got arrested for having them in the pill container a couple times and kept doing it anyways. The charges got dismissed but still. And every month if I was having a stressful month, I would count my pills. I would make sure I had enough to last me until the next refill. And I would always call the pharmacy as many days early as I could. That way I would have even more stockpiled in my cabinet. Not once would I ever think about selling them though, which is why the police officer at the hospital piss me off. Sitting there accusing me of being a drug dealer and giving me a bunch of crap, when I was just there for something completely unrelated not even detox. I was there for severe depression. He just made it worse. And then when you're not aware that you're an addict, and you have people sitting there treating you like a heroin addict or something, or somebody that steals or sells drugs, it pisses you off. They need to treat people with more respect. And another thing, I was in a state hospital. I was brought there in handcuffs and shackles and scrubs. I was admitted involuntarily. I've been to the worst of the worst hospitals in my state, with the criminally insane. I was in an all-black Hospital in Goldsboro North Carolina call Cherry hospital. That's where people go before they go to prison. There's also lots of geriatric patients and retarded patients and all kinds of patience. It's a big facility. Anyways, doctors don't know how to taper you off there either. But whenever you get thrown in a state hospital and handcuffed and driven around in a sheriff's van, which is how I got there, obviously you feel like a criminal. And when you're just trying to get help with severe depression and what comes with it since I can't talk about it on here, and you get treated like a drug addict and basically mentally abused instead of them treating your symptoms, it makes life worse. And then they want you to sit around in groups and do coloring and shower with other guys in a group setting like a prisoner, when you went there for help. And then they tell you that they're here to help you. How? How are they going to help? And then if that's not enough, I was asking for my medication while I was there, and just because I was asking for my medication, they submitted to the state that it was drug abuse. So then I lost my driver's license. And then I had to get an attorney and pay money and do substance abuse classes and they were calling me a drug addict. All when I could have just done this at home and forgotten about getting treatment for depression all together. Nobody forced me to go there, I went there on my own will. And then you have nurses not believing you about everything else just because you're considered a drug addict. North Carolina doesn't care, they basically just say well you already got your food today and you're allowed to take a shower so aside from that you're not going to sleep or do anything you want, you're going to follow our rules and like it and deal with it and there's nothing you can do about it because you're not leaving. And you might even get into some fights while you're there. You might even get assaulted. These places are no joke, it's like prison but even worse because nobody knows what they're doing. Everybody's trying to act Superbad and all anybody cares about is their food. Anyways I guess I'm a little off topic but yes we were both addicted and physically dependent. But we do not deserve to get treated like animals in State psychiatric facilities when we would go there for depression on our own will. And we shouldn't be driven around in the back of Sheriff's vans just because we're feeling down. What's that all about? And what's with the really uncomfortable bench in the back of the sheriff's van and the shackles as if I'm some kind of serial killer? All I know is these State psychiatric facilities will mess with your head. And if these pills are that bad, maybe the doctors shouldn't be prescribing them in the first place. They never told us we were going to be mentally screwed within a state psychiatric hospital, or in my case, end up homeless on the streets of Colorado in the snow with no shelter. The list goes on, I've got horror stories for days. All I know is I want some kind of reimbursement from either the doctor or the company that makes them. Because even if we are drug addicts, we took our medicine The Way We were supposed to take it for the most part, of course there's cases where they were not. But the medicine does the same thing whether it's prescribed or not, and different doctors prescribed different amounts. The fact remains they do the same thing to your brain and they caused the same damage, whether you're prescribed little amount or huge amounts and for a long time or a little amount of time. It's the manufacturer's fault as well as the doctor's fault. Somebody needs to reimburse us for all the suffering and financial hardship. We did not create this mess, the doctor did and big Pharma contributed to it. And again, my case is not normal. I'm pretty sure my story is probably a little bit crazier than most if I actually got into details of where I've been and how many hospitals I've been to and everything that's happened. But either way, we have all been through lots of crap that was unnecessary, completely because of doctors and Genentech and these other companies. Yeah we accepted the medication, but we were told by medical professionals and authorities that it was a good idea and Pharmacy as well. That's the difference of street drugs and prescription drugs, with prescription drugs, they told us to take them. With street drugs, people told them not to take them. You're not supposed to do illegal drugs. But when a doctor prescribes something and says to take it, you're supposed to do just that. You take it. Even if it's everyday. Even if it's all day everyday for 20 years. It's what the doctor ordered.

Guys,

I am speaking as a nurse now. All of us have a responsibilty to deal with our problems safely and not depend on someone else to do this.

Addictions are very difficult to deal with. It is hard to even admit you ARE addicted. I know I felt that way. I abused benzos for thirty years. Read my Blog, fellas. I am right down with you two, believe me. The first step is to admit you ARE addicted. That alone is scary.

The hospital and doctors were simply doing their jobs as the LAW tells them to. No one was being cruel to you. I feel they wanted to help you, but your attitude kept them from that.

 

I am now speaking as a survivor of benzos. NOT as a nurse,. I took and abused benzos for thirty damn years.If you ever saw the TV Shows Nurse Jackie or House, you know my story.  Benzos came so close to killing me. And during those many years I denied I had a problem. My health began to fail after 20 years on benzos. I became frail and weak. I began to fall a lot. And did I ever think it was my benzos? Hell, no. I loved them way too much.

 

I was forced to go cold turkey by my doctor. And I do not regret this at all. I am grateful he did that.

If you didnt want their help, why did you GO to the hospital? What were your expectations??

 

240 Klonapin tablets a month is almost beyond belief. I dont know where you live, but where I do, NO DOCTOR WOULD WRITE A SCRIP FOR THAT MANY BENZO TABLETS. Benzos are now regulated stricter, just as narcotics are. That alone is really shocking.

 

Both of you might want to read my Blog. Just the first few pages.

You might learn something that could actually help you.

I wish you only some sort of healing from this.

east

 

Disagree with this. If the above poster was on Heroin or opiates I would be all for the CT him and letting him suffer for a month or two. But to do that to someone on that high a dose of benzos is extremely dangerous and cause insane damage, and seizures.

It actually did cause me great damage and seizures. That was part of it. Extreme suffering, I didn't realize you could suffer this bad off of 8 mg a day cold turkey. But, now I know. In fact the hospital made it even worse, they gave me pills the first two days I was there and then pulled them away again. So I was already off of them and they gave me pills for two days and then that was it. They didn't even take for me. They just gave me 20 mg of Valium for two days. Cherry hospital in North Carolina.

@[ S...]

Lol, you would make a mean Dr..  Dr Suffer

 

Hope you are still doing ok..?? Probs a bit chilly down there too..??

 

You got treated the same way they treat people who are addicted to cocaine or heroin. Standard of care. You believe that you were harmed by someone's negligence, yet you have another thread that is devoted to "accepting that you are an addict".

 

If you want everyone to believe that this is an issue of addiction you have to be prepared to accept the consequences of that.

 

 

Florida guy, I'm prepared for anything in life. And let me inform you on something, it doesn't matter if you're a drug addict or not, these days in the hospitals they are supposed to taper you off of your meds whether they're prescribed or not.

 

You could have taken Xanax off of the street for a few years, and they're still supposed to taper you. The reason they taper you is so you don't have a seizure or die. Any good doctor will do it. I just happened to have a bad doctor. That was just one time, the other times they did taper me. Just not very slowly.

 

My outpatient doctor tried to get me to taper a half a milligram per month which would have taken 16 months, and I couldn't do it. Don't ask me why, I'm not a weak individual. I just couldn't do it so I went to the hospital.

 

I had the choice of tapering outside the hospital, but I didn't so I got stuck with the crappy doctor that thought I would be fine doing a two-day taper which was useless as we both know. I should have done it on the outside, but I didn't. So I got it over with quicker. I'm okay with that.

 

You keep bringing up this stuff about well if you're a drug addict you should be treated differently. Actually that's not what doctors go by. They might use that to determine whether or not they're going to prescribe them again in the future, like if you're in recovery or not. But not to taper.

 

Now what you should be paying attention to is when you go to the hospital, it doesn't matter who you are or what you're there for, the goal of the doctor's is to treat you with quality Medical Care and give you a good discharge plan to follow up with. It's supposed to benefit your health. That's why it cost so much money to be hospitalized.

 

Ask any nurse or doctor or Healthcare professional and they will tell you exactly what I'm telling you. And let's say that you go there because of illegal drugs, and you get treated the same way I did even though mine was prescribed, they also have a lawsuit. Haven't you seen things on the news about people getting cut cold turkey off their heroin and dying?

 

People actually die from methadone withdrawal and also from alcohol and barbiturates. There's even been a couple people that have died from suboxone withdrawal. If it's too much for your body to handle, you can have a heart attack. You can also have a seizure off of opiates just like having a seizure from benzo because your central nervous system and brain activity is way too much. Research it, it's on the internet.

 

Even if you go to jail or prison, they are supposed to taper you. If they do not, and you die, they have a lawsuit on their hands and they don't want that. They get sued all the time as a matter of fact. I've been in jail for stupid things quite a few times and I've seen it happen while I'm there. Luckily they kept me on my meds while I was there.

 

So your whole argument about drug addicts deserve to be treated like that and whatever else you can come up with is not fact-based whatsoever. Talk to some people that have been through all kinds of stuff and been in the drug game and through prison and they will tell you you are wrong.

 

Better yet, go to a psychiatric hospital in the future when you need to get off of benzos if you ever do need to again, and when you get treated the exact same way and get pulled off your meds within 2 days, it would be like Karma and you would wonder why it happened. Hospitals treat acute symptoms.

 

Another thing, I had already quit my Klonopin cold turkey before I went to the hospital 9 months ago. The doctor simply didn't know that, either that or wanted to dismiss that fact, so he gave me Valium for 2 days at 20 mg each day. My vitals were fine and so was I. So he didn't taper me, he just relapsed me or reinstated me, whichever word you want to use since you're Against Addiction.

So your whole argument about drug addicts deserve to be treated like that and whatever else you can come up with is not fact-based whatsoever. Talk to some people that have been through all kinds of stuff and been in the drug game and through prison and they will tell you you are wrong.

 

I didn't say that anyone deserves to be treated any certain way, I said that for better or worse, right or wrong, addiction is medically treated a certain way, so if you want to label it wholesale as addiction you better be prepared to deal with the consequences.

 

I don't know what the disconnect is in these discussions. No one ever advocates for people who are addicted to any drug to be mistreated or shamed or anything of the sort, yet for the people who insist on using addiction language that seems to be all they can hear.

Fair enough, however, addiction is not treated different medically either. If you are addicted to benzos off of the street, or just taking them as prescribed and you're physically dependent, the doctor is going to take you off the exact same way. Either the doctor wants to taper you slowly or wants to get you off of them quickly. It doesn't matter to them whether you're a drug addict or not.

If you are addicted to benzos off of the street, or just taking them as prescribed and you're physically dependent, the doctor is going to take you off the exact same way. Either the doctor wants to taper you slowly or wants to get you off of them quickly. It doesn't matter to them whether you're a drug addict or not.

 

Of course not, but that is a very serious problem if the doctor believes that you have a "drug problem" that requires you to be detoxed off of benzos ASAP.

 

My whole point is that IF you have an addiction problem with benzos, that needs to be treated appropriately but it needs to be distinguished from whatever dependence or damage that was caused by the benzo, and it is absolutely imperative that it NOT be treated like opiate or cocaine addiction.

So this is where we are not agreeing on the subject. You say that it's a serious problem if somebody is treated for addiction for cocaine or opiates. Why is it a serious problem? Nobody's in trouble or getting discriminated against by the doctor. This is why I said maybe you think people with drug addiction are bad people I don't know.

 

I wouldn't care if I had a cocaine or opiate addiction and the doctor was treating it. They can call me a drug addict and think whatever they want about me, I'm still going to get the same care regardless. They might tell me to go to the psychiatrist for drug addiction as well and work on that as well. That's about it.

 

Like for example, let's say that I was coming off of benzos and opiates right now instead of just benzos. They might tell me suboxone might benefit me, or methadone might benefit me. And you know what, it might. Maybe I should be taking methadone because it's a CNS depressant and it helps with pain.

 

And either way, the doctor wants you to come back for follow-ups. I'm already doing that in the first place, so maybe I should be taking Suboxone or methadone on top and getting something out of it that works for pain and helps with anxiety some as well I'm sure. You're worried about being labeled a drug addict. I can guarantee you you're not going to get worse care. Doctors are very by-the-book and scientific.

 

As for the doctors that treat addiction, like addiction doctors, they're going to treat you with the same respect as any other patient whether you're a drug addict or not, because they look at the science behind it, they don't judge people like you are doing with cocaine and opiates.

As for the doctors that treat addiction, like addiction doctors, they're going to treat you with the same respect as any other patient whether you're a drug addict or not, because they look at the science behind it, they don't judge people like you are doing with cocaine and opiates.

 

This isn't about how someone is being "treated" as in "treated well" or "treated poorly", it is about the treatment, the medical protocol. This isn't about being nice to people, it is about ensuring that they receive proper medical care.

 

People who are addicted to drugs like heroin and cocaine are detoxed quickly. That's just how they do it. That might be painful to the detoxee but it isn't likely to kill them or to set them up for long term neurological issues. Benzos on the other hand are extremely dangerous to detox from. Despite this fact, there are still doctors and facilities that take people off of benzos very quickly.

 

By describing the benzo issue as an addiction problem you are insuring that the practice of detoxing people (or rapid taper) from benzos continues, thus putting thousands of people at risk of everything from debilitating protracted withdrawal to death.

 

If you can't understand why it is absolutely imperative that benzo patients receive different kind of medical treatment and why it is important that the benzo issue not be lumped wholesale in with drug addiction in order to avoid people being taken off of benzos too quickly, I don't know what to tell you.

 

It seems incredibly selfish to throw people who were damaged by benzos under the bus in order to protect people's feelings. But maybe that's just me.

...and yet... While most physical SX from my opiate detox were over pretty quick compared to what we see with benzos here on BB, what remained was life threatening for me.. -A non functional GI..

If ya dont shit ya die...!!

On top of that, my neurological SX continued to worsen for 15 months, till I caved under pressure from medication/addiction specialists to reinstate on buprenorphine, a very complex “dirty” synthetic..

-And most of us know what happened when I suddenly stopped that and did a direct cross back to oxycontin, -my brain exploded and I lost half my face muscles/nerves, with multiple “white spots appearing on my MRI’s for the first time...

I still only got half a smile a year later.. I suspect its permanent damage..

 

The trouble is, yes benzos were in the mix, but up to the point of my opiate detox the use was somewhat minimal, asides what might have been used in the induced coma (I was told that was opiate based..??).. The first use I knew of was a couple of months of valium to assist traction...

Then there is the role intense long term antibiotics may have played, -or any number of the 74 meds Iv counted..

You can bet rapid detox Drs dont account for such things... Hell, they wouldnt even give me gabapentin for my intermittent accident related nerve pain until after we had had WWIII...

 

Im just never going to go for blanket rules that say certain meds can be rapidly removed while others cant.. While Benzos stand ahead of the crowd on this matter, there are many classes of meds that need discontinuation caution and awareness..

The problems my ex had with antidepressants is up there with the most serious of benzo discontinuations...

I get that this is a benzo dedicated site, -the initial attraction to me, and a big part of why I joined BB was the apparent understanding of protracted outcomes of medication discontinuation, but its a big wide world out there...  Iv seen non benzo people (X1) still messed up with SX we all face daily, over 20 yrs post cessation..

 

...anyways... Here we are, -trying to get it right for those that follow in our footsteps.. What we dont need is dictation from those that arent prepared to learn...

 

Morning Blurt... -tick..

 

 

So this is where we are not agreeing on the subject. You say that it's a serious problem if somebody is treated for addiction for cocaine or opiates. Why is it a serious problem? Nobody's in trouble or getting discriminated against by the doctor. This is why I said maybe you think people with drug addiction are bad people I don't know.

 

I wouldn't care if I had a cocaine or opiate addiction and the doctor was treating it. They can call me a drug addict and think whatever they want about me, I'm still going to get the same care regardless. They might tell me to go to the psychiatrist for drug addiction as well and work on that as well. That's about it.

 

Like for example, let's say that I was coming off of benzos and opiates right now instead of just benzos. They might tell me suboxone might benefit me, or methadone might benefit me. And you know what, it might. Maybe I should be taking methadone because it's a CNS depressant and it helps with pain.

 

And either way, the doctor wants you to come back for follow-ups. I'm already doing that in the first place, so maybe I should be taking Suboxone or methadone on top and getting something out of it that works for pain and helps with anxiety some as well I'm sure. You're worried about being labeled a drug addict. I can guarantee you you're not going to get worse care. Doctors are very by-the-book and scientific.

 

As for the doctors that treat addiction, like addiction doctors, they're going to treat you with the same respect as any other patient whether you're a drug addict or not, because they look at the science behind it, they don't judge people like you are doing with cocaine and opiates.

 

Well.. I live in Germany. If you are in a psychiatric hospitals, there are DIFFERENT areas for official drug addicts (heroine, cocaine,meth,...) and for people with benzo withdrawal or withdrawal from painkillers, so the treatment is different for sure. I had the pleasure to be put into the wrong category first and well, it was not funny at all, because in the area where they had the "addicts" there was no pshchoterapie, no treatments like talking or learning strategies to cope, - a lot of screaming and bad things happening like in a horror movie. Alcoholics may be put into the same section like people withdrawing from benzos or meds or whatever - they will be among other people with "normal" health problems, means being put into group therapies, having the possibility to go outside the building, in some hospitals exercising, cooking together. In my eyes, the "addicts" in acute were put into the section for the severe cases of schizophrenia, - while people with depression, anxiety and panic attacks were mixed with patients with a problem or reactions on benzos, medication, - you know.. and of course there is judgement. Benzos are still seen as medication, not as drugs, but they are given with the intention to heal someone (even though its bullshit as we know) - while drugs are considered to be taken illegally, and that's exactly how people on drugs are treated. I don't say it is correct, I dont think anything that happens in these hospitals is correct in my eyes, -but if you compare the treatments drug addicts get and the possibilities "normal patients" do get, - its a different world. Also - if you have written in the official papers that you were addicted to something, you will have a problem to find a job later. You will end up in a "program for addicts" - which is a stigma itself as well.

Docotrs here definitely do judge. I know that because on day 1 in one psychiatric hospitals they told me I was an opiate addict, cause these idiots had made a mistake in the lab and had taken a wrong bloodwork, not mine. The test was repeated after 2 days, but this put me into the wrong area of the hospitals for 2 days (another nightmare) and I was able to get a real insight. Horrible.

 

on the other hand, what I have seen in these 2 days has shown me, that real addicts actually need a different treatment. What they had to go through was different to what the people in the other areas in the hospital had to face. I dont want to compare the different kind of agony.. but it made sense to separate them and get them different treatments, not only seen regarding the medication, most of them had totally different social problems to face.

 

So - in my country- different care for people who are withdrawing from a medication or from illegal substances. Totally different!

Wow. Marigold, youjust opened my eyes a bit. It sounds like your country is at least trying to differentiate between drugs. And yes, alcohol and benzos work similarly. But the psychological reasons for taking either drug may be widely different.I am so sorry you went through this. I am sure it was traumatic, as was my fouor day stay in a psych hospital.

  Like you I wasnt insane. I was addicted to benzos, and in my case, in HUGE ways. I can admit that. But being there was such an enormous blow to my self esteem back then.

 

Well, I got over that once I healed. Hindsight has taught me a lot of things about how I was back then. I was not "wrapped tight". I wasnt insane but I was making enormous mistakes in thinking, due to benzos. HUGE mistakes, that I only realized once I had healed fomr the benzos.

east

 

Well, I got over that once I healed. Hindsight has taught me a lot of things about how I was back then. I was not "wrapped tight". I wasnt insane but I was making enormous mistakes in thinking, due to benzos. HUGE mistakes, that I only realized once I had healed from the benzos.

east

 

 

I dont think we really understand how the medication

was helping us make BIG mistakes in our thinking.  :'(

 

Getting off them is not enough to understand that  this takes time

for many things to heal, and much time to adjust our thinking I found.

 

Healing takes us to a new way of thinking when we heal. 

Certainly has for me, and I am finding the real me again.

Better stronger and wiser.

Accepting myself now rather than conforming

 

  Sadly it takes quite some time to realise that this change can take  ages

for many people on this journey, we are all different,

no matter how we improve in whatever areas. 

 

Well said eastcoast62 

You guys all have great point. Trust me I'm not here to make anybody feel bad, I'm just giving my experience. I was in three different hospitals last year, that's how bad my benzo and kratom and barbiturate use had gotten.

 

The first hospital I was in last year, they just put me in a room with three guys, one was a psychiatric patient the other one was a heroin addict facing legal problems and then there was me, coming off of benzos and Kratom and barbiturates simultaneously cold turkey.

 

The heroin addict got all kinds of attention and got treated like a friend of the doctor. They gave him methadone and Valium at the same time just to make him comfortable. He was really happy and went to his groups and ate and exercised oh, I'm sure I would have been happy also. Those combinations make you feel pretty good.

 

And then there was the bipolar guy with psychiatric problems, they kept giving him different doses of benzos and switching the kind of benzo and antidepressant and antipsychotic. He was having severe anxiety which I now know was benzo related. He would complain about it and they would say it's your anti-psychotic. So then he would complain about that and they would say it's his antidepressant. They were using him like a test dummy. He ended up going into psychosis and crying.

 

And then there was me, it was almost impossible to deal with barbiturates and benzos and Kratom at the same time and my mind was So Gone, now I'm seeing how far gone it was. I was getting really pissed off and cussing at the staff. It got to the point where they had to put me in seclusion. They say Kratom is safe but it's not.

 

They were trying to force me to go to groups and do coloring and all kinds of stuff while going through withdrawal from all three at once. Just not possible. So then I would walk the hallways and then I would have to get water, and they would tell me I was not allowed to have water anymore. And then I missed my shower time one day, and they told me I had to wait until the next day to take a shower. They wouldn't let me shave.

 

Well, later on I'll find out everybody is supposed to be doing the same thing. And then I go to a second hospital and almost every person there is because of heroin or opiates or both. Most of those people took benzos along with their opiates just for fun. Because they were labeled with opiate use disorder, the doctors treated them like kings.

 

The doctors would be giving these people Suboxone or methadone, whichever one they choose, before they get handed off to an outpatient dr. They would give them Xanax and Valium along with whichever opiate they want or opiate antagonist whatever you want to call it.

 

There were some alcoholics at the third stay, in their 50s and 60s. I've met a lot of them throughout my life. And there was a couple people in there for benzos on the last time. Well, everybody had a prescription for their benzos but got treated like the worst people on this Earth and did not get tapered properly.

 

What they did with the alcoholics was let them go into cold turkey withdrawal and whenever they started shaking severely, they would offer them a pill, a Valium. But not until it looked like they were going to have a seizure.

 

As for the people coming off of the benzos, they would just make them stay off of benzos no matter how uncomfortable they are and whenever they did their scoring system on their anxiety and Tremors and everything, things like sweating and whatnot, they would just act like there's nothing wrong and they didn't score anything even though it was a clear 10. The prescription didn't matter. They were treated like drug addicts.

 

And then at the same time while these people are suffering in the corner through benzo and alcohol withdrawal, the people with the heroin addiction and cocaine addiction and whatever street drug, they were getting all the treatment and participating and feeling great and ready to go back out and tackle the world. They were talking about getting jobs and everything.

 

The stupid nurses, the psychiatric nurses and doctors, they were telling the people with benzo withdrawal you'll be okay it's just like an extended hangover. They said you'll have some anxiety for a few weeks and it'll go away. They thought they knew everything. People would say I feel horrible like I'm going to die and they would say stop being dramatic. The benzo people would say it was prescribed and they would say yeah well prescribed or not it's a benzodiazepine.

 

Trust me I've been in about 10 different hospitals throughout my life. There's a psychiatric section and there's a detox section. The only difference of the psychiatric section is it's for people with severe psychiatric mental illness. If you're just there for detox, they put you on the other side so that there's no problems between the patients.

 

But everybody has team meetings in the morning with the doctor and counselor and social worker and some other people. Everybody has to see the doctor once a week, the regular doctor. Everybody has to take vitals at the same time. Everybody has the same shower time. Pretty much everything is the same, meals and all.

 

All I know is from roughly a dozen hospital stays in three different states, they all treat people the same. The heroin addicts get stuff for their symptoms and get treated for opiate use disorder and they are completely comfortable and they even get benzos when they don't need them.

 

The psychiatric patients that are not even going through withdrawal are pretty much just walking the hallways singing and laughing and having conversations. Sometimes they start crying. Their psychiatric patients. Sometimes they talk to the sky or whatever. Sometimes they fight.

 

And then you have the alcoholics and benzo withdrawal people, and now there's a lot of gabapentin withdrawal people in there also. They are all having really bad symptoms and the nurses and doctors are just dismissing them. Most of them had prescriptions but they get treated like they didn't.

 

Thing I've learned from psychiatric hospitals, it is an acute stay and all they talk about is how expensive it is and how they don't want to keep you there any longer than they have to over the 72 hours.

 

These doctors want to do everything they can within 72 hours so that they don't have to see you again and they don't cost Society much money. Which means they're going to take you off of your meds really quick and they might keep you there for a couple weeks like they did with me, just to try a bunch of antidepressants that don't work.

 

They make you feel like a criminal just for taking benzos in the first place, all they do is tell you how bad they are. But the people with Heroin problems get treated like kings and get all the Care in the world from everybody. But if you get mad like me, you will get put in seclusion.

 

So this whole addiction vs non addiction thing, doesn't matter in the hospital. I've also seen people in there with cocaine problems, whenever they quit cocaine they're just really tired and depressed. That's not really physical withdrawal. But they treat them also. Regardless, everybody has to do the same activities and if they don't, the most that happens is they have a note in their records saying they didn't participate. Not like it matters.

 

It's not like it's going to affect your job or personal life or future treatment or anything else, however you act in the hospital. It's just records for future doctors to see. And then you talk to your future doctor about it. It's like handing somebody off to another doctor. Or like when you go to a doctor in a new city, you sign a release of information. Same thing.

 

But here in the United States of America, I can assure you it doesn't matter if you are addicted or not or if you have a prescription or not. If you have a legit reason to take them, they might even keep you on them and not pull you off at all. If you don't have a reason to take them, or the doctor thinks it's a problem, they're going to pull you off and it's most likely going to be really quickly and you're going to suffer really bad. That's just how it is here. Hospitals definitely need a makeover.

I have been in several psychiatric hospitals and ended in the wrong areas 3 times, and one time a doctor put me in the acute area and I was simply locked in for 3 days and nights without any contact to anyone, - which is highly illegal. But who cares because you are not allowed to call someone.

I cannot see anything good in these hospitals as I cannot see any good treatment in the field of psychiatry in general. Here you cannot say anything against a doctor at all, no chance to win a lawsuit or anything like that.

That happened to me 10 months ago when I went to the hospital trying to get help with my severe depression and cold turkey. Instead of getting help, I was locked inside of a psych Hospital for 21 days, with the psychiatrist trying all kinds of pills that made me even worse So eventually I started refusing them.

 

It was like torture, it really was. Both physically and mentally. And I wanted to make a phone call like everybody else but I was not allowed to because I did not have a calling card. I told the staff, it's not like I was planning on being at a hospital and went to Walgreens or CVS or Walmart to get a calling card and bring it with me and stick it up my butt or something. I mean what did they expect? They said you have to have money to make a call and wouldn't make any exceptions for me.

 

And of course there was some people that came in with money and traded it for a calling card. All the other hospitals I've been at you get a call after you're there for a couple days at least, you can call family or contacts, just like in jail. At least a couple of calls per day. Not this one though.

 

This last hospital would not even let you take a shower unless it was during certain times. And if you did not get deodorant between 5 and 6 p.m., they wouldn't allow you to have it. And if you didn't get shampoo and conditioner at the same time, you had to take a shower in just water with no soap or deodorant or afterwards.

 

The biggest size scrubs that they had was XL, but that wasn't big enough for me. So they told me it will have to fit oh, like the clothes are just going to have to change size for me or something.

 

If the clothes are going to have to fit, if that comment wasn't enough, when I was having severe anxiety from all these different medicines while going through cold turkey klonopin withdrawal, the psychiatrist told me just to deal with it when referring to my anxiety. I said what do you mean just deal with it? He said just deal with it like the rest of society. I still have a lot of Anger from that.

 

The reason that pissed me off so bad was because first off I was going through klonopin withdrawal, secondly having anxiety on top of that from being in the hospital, 3rd having more anxiety because of my mental health condition, and four because I was having more anxiety from the medicine they were giving me. Cymbalta and effexor and Wellbutrin and Suboxone and all kinds of other meds were given to me and made me really bad.

 

But all of the heroin addicts got to just take methadone or Suboxone and sleep all day and eat food and go to a couple groups if they wanted. But with me, I was forced to go to groups while feeling this way. And like always, the hospital's think breathing techniques and coloring is going to help benzo withdrawal.

 

I get so sick of that crap, the recreational therapist sits around telling people what works for anxiety, but that's for normal anxiety, that's not for people going through withdrawal from chemicals. You can't do anything about chemicals and brain chemistry not being right. That's why people are in a psychiatric hospital. I mean of course coping skills work for some things, which we are all aware of already.

 

All I know is these State hospitals in North Carolina are some of the worst in the country probably. I've got stories for days and the hospitals in Colorado and Florida were much better than the ones here. Part of the problem is the ignorant staff. They want to treat everybody like normal people and tell them to act the same way. They just expect you to have no symptoms whatsoever by the time your discharge but it doesn't work that way.

I have one comment. Them terlling you to "deal with" your anxiety is actually a very good thing. That IS what all of us have to do, in order to learn how to live without chemical intervention.

I do understand your anger and frustration. If you read my SS, you would know I went through a very similar thing. Being forced to go in patient IS humiliating. But in the end, we do have to LEARN from this stuff, so we dont make the same errors again. Me, I had depended on benzos for thirty damn years, for what I thought was intractible insomnia, that I had ALL of my life. Even as a small child. Benzos sure did help, but over time, they made me pay such a high price for that "luxury". I so regret that. I do think my story should be read by anyone who has been on benzos too long, because even though my story is extreme, it COULD happen to you. Stay on benzos too long and believe me, you will end up going through utter hell. Your health will fail. You will develop symptoms that lead you to doctors who cannot figure out what is wrong with you. Your med list SHOULD give them a clue, but at least where I live, the doctors dont seem to know how deadly benzos can be for some.

 

Justintime, I hear you, but I also can see where you are making mistakes in your logic and emotions. Same thing I did, when I was on benzos.

Now hear me: getting off benzos did NOT make me some perfect person! LOL! NOT! I am still deeply flawed, with stuff benzos helped me forget about or distance from for years. Because I used benzos, I might not EVER be able to fix those huge flaws in my personality.  But I am older than you, I think. I am 70 now. A tough old 70 year old woman who took way too many benzos and somehow managed to survive. I invite you to join me.

east

East Coast, I will go check it out either today or tomorrow. with me, nobody ever forced me to go to the hospital, I always went on my own free will, I did it once at 21 and then it 24 and then 25, and then did it at my house on my own, and then went to the hospital again at 28, and then again at 33 and then 34 + 35 + 36. This latest time was at 36 years old, the age I am now still.

 

The problem with the doctor telling me to deal with it, was the fact that I was already off of my Klonopin cold turkey, 8 mg a day, and I had been off of them for three days already. I was having such severe symptoms and felt like I was going to die, so I went to the hospital, along with other reasons pertaining to extreme depression.

 

They gave me meds for 2 days, which actually didn't do anything really, and then cut me off again, and for some reason it was even worse than it was in the first place. So I told the doctor it made things worse by giving me medicine for 2 days, and then he said just to deal with the withdrawal but he was being a complete tool. He wasn't being kind and telling me just to deal with it like everybody else. And it wasn't just anxiety, it was much more than that obviously. Oh well, I did deal with it and went back home and did it on my own again up until now.

 

so maybe I should have read your story before replying on here, but I looked at your signature at least. Says that you took 6 mg of Klonopin a night for a long time. They had me on that amount at 17 years old, which makes this really difficult because not only did I take them for 20 years, but the problem is that since I took them at such an early age, I feel like I'm a teenager again because I have to relearn everything from that point on. So it's like I was never fully mentally developed. And everything that I did from 17 until now has caught up with me at 36. On the bright side, I have the rest of my life off of meds. That's why I chose to get off of them voluntarily in the first place, that along with what I went through over the last few years. Although I've been trying this since 21 years old. I always knew they were bad but couldn't change what I was doing even though I wanted to.

 

my case was strange because instead of being forced to stop them in prison or by the doctor or whatever, I would always drink way too much and know that I was screwed, I couldn't handle it anymore after a while, and then I wanted to quit drinking but not quit the benzos. But when you go to detox, they don't let you just quit one and stay on the other. That's what happened last year as well. It was a combination of things in life, as well as another substance, red vein Borneo. Too much of it along with Klonopin, and you're going to have problems I guarantee it. Even if you're the strongest person in the world mentally and physically, I guarantee it. Taking enough good quality red vein Borneo all day long every day along with Klonopin and do it for months and months not leaving the house, and you're going to have problems. I've seen it happen to lots of people.

 

So anyways, when it comes to substances, I've been through the ringer. You don't just end up homeless for no reason. So now I'm doing everything I can to get my life back and check, and there's a whole lot of stuff to work on. Dang near impossible but I'm doing the impossible right now. I shouldn't even be alive. I've been in comas before so I really am coming back to life.

I can understand the wish to sue someone, but life is short. You have to decide where your energy shall flow into and for me it was the best decision to turn my back on psychiatry and doctors of the past (I still have some good ones:-) and make a cut in my brain, telling me "no, you will NOT spiral around the past and about what a big victim you have been. You focus on the Present and make the best out of it, Marigold"