Nighttime Kit

Hi all-

Here is something that has helped me recently.  Insomnia is what put me on the ativan in the first place and it has been my struggle in trying to get off of it.  Sometimes I live my life in cycles of fear about insomnia, insomnia, more fear, more insomnia, etc.  One of the things that I have done recently is try to take the fear out of the equation in an attempt to break the cycle.  Part of my fear was about what would I do if I didn't sleep.  I had my ipod loaded with nature sounds, hypnosis, fall asleep tracks etc.  I never listened to any of them for more than a few minutes because they all scared me so much!!!  Anxiety overload with middle of the night self hypnisis cds!!  They just don't relax me.  Anyway- I would lie in bed thinking about getting up in the freezing cold to listen to some creepy CD and it never went well for me.

This has worked WELL lately.  I packed a cloth grocery bag with relaxing items that I actually like and set it out on the couch before I go to bed along with a warm blanket and a sweatshirt.  In the morning I put the bag away and out of sight and get on with the day.  I have not had to use it once, but it is so comforting to me to know that there is something genuinely happy and relaxing and warm waiting for me in the living room if I can't sleep.  I have found this whole benzo process interesting because through it I have realized that I stopped listening to myself.  I didn't like the relaxation CDs but I thought that I "should" find them relaxing so I would put myself through this anxiety inducing torture of listening to them in the dark and the cold by myself!  Then i go make a kit that I genuinely DO find relaxing full of stuff that I like (like coloring books!) and I feel deeply peaceful.  Go figure!

My kit includes:

An EASY and beautiful knitting project.  I went to the knitting store (anyone can learn to make a scarf in about an hour lesson) and bought big thick beautifully colored alpaca wool for a scarf.  Just back and forth knitting, nothing fancy, just repetitive and sleepy.

A jigsaw puzzle with a pretty scene

A Bible study workbook that I am working on

A brand new coloring book and a brand new pack of bright crayons

A Sodoku book

An easy to read comforting book

Magazines with pretty pictures, scissors, a glue stick and my collage book (I make collages in a sketchbook for fun)

Socks!

It is sort of a nice ritual to put it on the couch and say to myself "whatever comes tonight comes" and leave it alone.  Every morning I have been putting it back in the closet quickly and have been having peaceful nights and happy days.

If this is helpful for anyone I hope that you make your own nighttime kit and take some of the fear out of the nighttime.

Lakesound

You sweetheart Lakesound, thank you so much for posting your wonderful ideas for sleep.  We have so many people who look over the insomnia board seeking help with the universal sleep issue of benzodiazepine withdrawal.  I love what you've come up with, it sounds almost inviting to cozy up with the great things you've packed in your emergency kit.  Hey is this reverse psychology, I hope I can't sleep, so I probably will?

Thank you again. 

You might like to add the audio files located at

http://www.usa.philips.com/c/light-therapy/usb-playback-and-dusk-simulation-hf3485_60/prd/?t=sound

to your kit,  a nice selection of environmental sounds.

This is so sweet. : )

-Wendy

Hey lakesound,

Your nighttime kit sent warm chills up and down my spine.  How inviting and relaxing.  Some of the things in your kit I kept by my nightstand:  knitting, crossword puzzle, Bible, solitaire game.  These things brought me much comfort in the midnight hours when insomnia was at its worse for me. 

I pray that you have so much good and peaceful sleep in the days, weeks, months, and years to come.  Continue to stay the course.