35 months update

Since December(31 months off), I noticed that I was felling better and better.

No more waves...a miracle !

In fact, if I observe it closely, waves are so low that it looks like a little stress.

It's just change dramatically my life in an incredible way.

It's not time for a success story, but today (35 months off), after nearly 30 months of hell, I feel myself again, able to feel comfort and love.

I'm still struggling with a little anger and a little obsessional behavior, but nothing really important.

No more symptoms, neither physical nor psychological.

Sleep ok too, no more cortisol morning !

I feel free, not completely, but what a feeling Buddies...!!

With the covid 19 and the quarantine since more than a month (I'm French), I don't realize my position today.

What a strange story....

I would like to share more with you on my journey, but my English language is poor, I'm so sorry about it.

I know how is important to compare, it helps a lot to realize that we're not alone, to put words on what we're going through when it's just impossible to think correctly.

God, I get tears in my eyes writing this....

Yes, I confirm, time is the healer, with an healthy life and, when it's possible, good thoughts and positive attitude.

Stay calm, stay strong and keep the faith.

Recovery will be your highest award, believe me.

 

Vincent

Hi Braddis-

 

Félicitations!  How wonderful you're feeling dramatically better after many months of suffering with withdrawal symptoms.  Thanks so much for sharing. 

 

Brighterday 

Dear Braddis,

  This makes me happy! So pleased to hear you are feeling well. Soak it in!

 

Warmly,

Carita

Thanks for your kind words, I really appreciate Buddies.

I can't imagine how would've been my journey without this forum...

Seriously, it saved my life.

That's why it's so important to me, even if it's difficult to write in English, to share my withdrawal experience.

Congratulations Braddis, and much love to you!

 

PG

Congratulations! C'est incroyable!!

 

Your story means so much to those of us who are still in healing.

 

thank you

Braddis thanks for the update and very happy for you.  You have always maintained a positive attitude and I commend you for that.  Hope your healing accelerates even more.  Best to you.

Braddis, congratulations on your healing journey.

Sending you a big hug!

 

I have one question, do all the things that were not-balanced returned to normal?

like blood tests. etc? I've been off for 6 months almost!

 

beaucoup d'amour pour toi

Blossom

Thank you so much for this inspiring and hopeful update. It means so much to us who is still in the fight.

 

Wishing you the best. 

 

C'est tellement bon d'entendre une histoire heureuse. Vous avez travaillé pour votre rétablissement et maintenant vous en récoltez les bénéfices.

Je pense que votre anglais est très bon.

You are a warrior these are the stories I hold on to each and everyday.  I am only 6 months into a CT of Ativan used for 6 weeks .5  Looking more into this mess sounds like I have a long way to go .  Please keep posting

 

 

Dema

Braddis, congratulations on your healing journey.

Sending you a big hug!

 

I have one question, do all the things that were not-balanced returned to normal?

like blood tests. etc? I've been off for 6 months almost!

 

beaucoup d'amour pour toi

Blossom

 

Like I said, it's not time for a success story. Even if all my main symptoms are gone (insomnia, huge anxiety, dp/dr, cognitive issues, lost of short-memories, agoraphobia, intrusive and painful thought, emotional blindness, exhausted, pain in all my body, guts issues...), some are still there like tinnitus (it was never extreme, just an annoying low-frequency noise...) , some lack of sensations and empathy, some  sexual numbness, night perspirations and some abnormal anger.

 

In other words,  withdrawal is still " inside me " but tears and hopelessness are gone

 

I had never check, never tried to control what was not balanced inside me.

I knew that all was withdrawal's consequences. Sometimes it was very weird and very disturbing but I tried to stay calm and aware...there were nothing to do about it, expect waiting...

 

Today I feel really ok, I can run, workout, every thing returned to 90% normal.

 

For me, the key to get recovery is acceptance.

You can have a life, even in hell, and you realize that you're stronger than you were thinking !!

 

Hope you will find recovery soon, take care Buddy

 

Love

 

Congratulations, Vincent!  You will write your success story soon enough.  I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my PM regarding the insomnia.  I am at 18 months.  Sleep is still a problem for me; however, I am starting to experience 2-3 good nights in a row then 1-2 bad nights.  I used to sleep one night and then not the next.  I have difficulty with sleep onset and awakenings and cannot nap (my mind/body won't shut down to let me nap).  Most of my other symptoms have faded and I have managed to cut back on the nighttime supplements (only take magnesium and tart cherry pills).  I suppose I am still left with some mild anxiety and depression about the situation.  I want to believe with all my heart that this will someday fade away and that time is the true healer.  Enjoy your life!!

Can you describe you abnormal anger?

Can you describe you abnormal anger?

 

It started at 8 months off.

Before that, I was just stunned by withdrawal and out of touch of reality...

So, at 8 months off, I was felling so strange outside, a mix of fear, anxiety and paranoia, sometimes, for a banal reason, anger was growing inside me.

 Something very violent, I never felt that before.

 I had rage outbursts, extreme emotional and mental pain.

After that, around 20 months off, anger became a part of my daily life.

Not really a violent one. It was more like an increasingly impatience to get recovery.

I was tired, exhausted by withdrawal's hardships.

My personal life was not perfect too, so anger was very difficult to avoid...

When the waves have been diminish ( at 30 months off), Iife became more comfortable and anger started to decrease.

Today, it is not a daily issue, only sometimes, but still abnormal.

Always an insufficient ground to justify an intense anger.

In an other hand, the quarantine don't help to cool down...

Anyway, I am confident and I don't give up. When I look back, if have achieve nearly 3 years of withdrawal, I could fix this problem too !!

 

Take care Buddy, stay strong and keep the faith.

Can you describe you abnormal anger?

 

It started at 8 months off.

Before that, I was just stunned by withdrawal and out of touch of reality...

So, at 8 months off, I was felling so strange outside, a mix of fear, anxiety and paranoia, sometimes, for a banal reason, anger was growing inside me.

Something very violent, I never felt that before.

I had rage outbursts, extreme emotional and mental pain.

After that, around 20 months off, anger became a part of my daily life.

Not really a violent one. It was more like an increasingly impatience to get recovery.

I was tired, exhausted by withdrawal's hardships.

My personal life was not perfect too, so anger was very difficult to avoid...

When the waves have been diminish ( at 30 months off), Iife became more comfortable and anger started to decrease.

Today, it is not a daily issue, only sometimes, but still abnormal.

Always an insufficient ground to justify an intense anger.

In an other hand, the quarantine don't help to cool down...

Anyway, I am confident and I don't give up. When I look back, if have achieve nearly 3 years of withdrawal, I could fix this problem too !!

 

Take care Buddy, stay strong and keep the faith.

 

Yeah, what you described from 8 to 20 months is what I'm dealing with now. Anger all the time for no reason and it's very uncomfortable.