Fakeit's Success Story - Time is the ultimate healer

 

That feeling of being “comfy cozy” laying on the couch watching a favorite movie returns.

 

 

 

This line really hit home for me. This is a feeling I have been longing for for many months now. I'm so happy to see that it does return. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

Happy New Year everyone!!

I know it's been a long time since I've checked in, but I felt a nudge in my heart this morning . . . God telling me to come on and let everyone know that HEALING HAPPENS.

It seems every time that I pop in to say hello again, I can't believe how much better I feel than the last time I did.

SO many times I've said "I'm healed", only to experience 3 months later that I'm even better.

Life still has stress.  There are still rainy days.  I'm still ageing and having aches and pains I never used to.

But it's all BEAUTIFUL.

For me, the longest longest lasting symptom is that I do still think of it almost every day.

But, not always in a "bad" way.

I will be in front of the mirror singing, putting on makeup to go somewhere and it will hit me that I feel so good.

I will be cooking, with the evening news going in the background and remember when I couldn't watch television.

I will get in an argument with hubby and then apologize and feel peace immediately - and remember when it would make me feel like the world was ending.

I could write 100 examples like that.

Some days i wish that I could just forget it all . . . but then I realize that if I forgot, I wouldn't remember how absolutely incredible life is now.

 

Please, whatever you are feeling; no matter how absolutely wrecked you are right now . . . HANG IN THERE!!!  HEALING HAPPENS!!

 

I honestly, personally feel that it took me longer than most (but not as long as others).  If someone would have told me on July 10, 2018 (when I made the choice to stop all meds) that it would take me over two years to heal, I don't know how I could have handled it.  Today, as I sit and type, I don't think I would change a thing when I see the ultimate outcome.  My life is SO much better in SO many ways.  BUT, I didn't just sit back and wait for healing to happen either.  I went to therapy.  I read books.  I walked.  I did art.  I gardened.  I learned how to meditate.  I learned to be mindful.  I did cognitive behavior therapy at the suggestion of another member here.  I truly believe those things helped me tremendously in the long haul. 

 

Hang in there.

Healing happens.

I remember how much I needed to hear those words over and over again when I was at my worst and healing.

I got my first tattoo this past summer:  It's a Sunflower (the flower that always keeps it's face to the sun) with the stem drawn from the words: "This too shall pass" .

i didn't think I'd ever get a tattoo.  But when I imagined what I would get if I got one, it was too perfect not to.

 

Not sure how long it will be before I come back again.  But I send positive energy, prayers, and most of all the hope that you never lose faith in your ability to heal.

 

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!

 

HUGS!!

 

Fakeit

 

FakeIt, I am so so so happy for you... oh so very happy  :smitten:

Fakeit!  You made it!  Wow so happy for you.  I’m coming up on one year next month.  Unfortunately I’m in a bad wave now...worst in months...but still I cannot believe where I am compared to one year ago.

 

Congratulations!

FakeIt, I am so so so happy for you... oh so very happy  :smitten:

 

Thank you!! <3

 

Happy New Year everyone!!

I know it's been a long time since I've checked in, but I felt a nudge in my heart this morning . . . God telling me to come on and let everyone know that HEALING HAPPENS.

It seems every time that I pop in to say hello again, I can't believe how much better I feel than the last time I did.

SO many times I've said "I'm healed", only to experience 3 months later that I'm even better.

Life still has stress.  There are still rainy days.  I'm still ageing and having aches and pains I never used to.

But it's all BEAUTIFUL.

For me, the longest longest lasting symptom is that I do still think of it almost every day.

But, not always in a "bad" way.

I will be in front of the mirror singing, putting on makeup to go somewhere and it will hit me that I feel so good.

I will be cooking, with the evening news going in the background and remember when I couldn't watch television.

I will get in an argument with hubby and then apologize and feel peace immediately - and remember when it would make me feel like the world was ending.

I could write 100 examples like that.

Some days i wish that I could just forget it all . . . but then I realize that if I forgot, I wouldn't remember how absolutely incredible life is now.

 

Please, whatever you are feeling; no matter how absolutely wrecked you are right now . . . HANG IN THERE!!!  HEALING HAPPENS!!

 

I honestly, personally feel that it took me longer than most (but not as long as others).  If someone would have told me on July 10, 2018 (when I made the choice to stop all meds) that it would take me over two years to heal, I don't know how I could have handled it.  Today, as I sit and type, I don't think I would change a thing when I see the ultimate outcome.  My life is SO much better in SO many ways.  BUT, I didn't just sit back and wait for healing to happen either.  I went to therapy.  I read books.  I walked.  I did art.  I gardened.  I learned how to meditate.  I learned to be mindful.  I did cognitive behavior therapy at the suggestion of another member here.  I truly believe those things helped me tremendously in the long haul. 

 

Hang in there.

Healing happens.

I remember how much I needed to hear those words over and over again when I was at my worst and healing.

I got my first tattoo this past summer:  It's a Sunflower (the flower that always keeps it's face to the sun) with the stem drawn from the words: "This too shall pass" .

i didn't think I'd ever get a tattoo.  But when I imagined what I would get if I got one, it was too perfect not to.

 

Not sure how long it will be before I come back again.  But I send positive energy, prayers, and most of all the hope that you never lose faith in your ability to heal.

 

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!

 

HUGS!!

 

Fakeit

 

I am SO, SO, SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! I really needed this today. Only a month off and feeling as low as ever. Cannot thank you enough for coming back and giving us all hope!

 

I am so proud of you, I told you the other side is powerful.

I am so proud of you, I told you the other side is powerful.

 

Would NOT have made it without you!!!  There's a special place in heaven for you!! <3

 

THANK YOU!!! 

Thank you

Hanging on by a crazy thread. Like I'm trapped in a box in hell. Reliving this experience over and over. So glad you made it out. I got your message but I am not able to reply to pm's.

Hi there. I'm new to the support group and just read your success story. 

Would you be up to communicating with me? I'm 19 months off (rapid taper) 1 mg Klonopin and struggling immensely.  I deal with horrific head snapping movements and more. I'm just so blasted scared this will never stop. I was wondering how you coped? I  admire your strength and endurance.  I'd appreciate any advice. Thank you.

Jellybelly,

Im glad my success story gives you hope.

I came back to the forum today to read BoomBoxBoy's success story because we went through this journey at the same time and helped each other a lot.  Other than that, I'm not coming back to this forum on any regular basis.

I have a couple people I am helping right now and that's honestly the best I can do at this time.  While I am definitely healed, I DO still have a few elements of PTSD from the whole experience; and coming back to this forum can be a trigger for me.  It's weird.  I swore I would "pay it forward" much more than I'm able to, at least at this time.  Maybe in the future I'll be able to help more?  I'm not sure.  I know how much the support meant to me when I was going through it, but I have to wait until I'm stronger to be able to openly help everyone who asks me. 

What I can tell you is that it took me a LONG time (I'm just going to round it up to three years to heal).

BUT - I can't express enough how worth it it's been. 

I'm 10 times the person I was before I went through Benzo Withdrawal.

I'm so much more self aware of my emotions - my character defects - my insecurities - my anxieties, etc.

I wouldn't even take back the experience if I could because I wouldn't want to go back to who I was BEFORE this.

But - I used this experience to grow and to let it teach me.

I didn't just sit back and wait for time to heal me without also putting in a lot of work.

Time is crucial - yes!  But it's so important to make the effort to learn as you heal.

It's a brain injury - and when your brain heals, it's SO important to heal it with POSITIVE things.

If you feed anything that's small and new with negativity - it won't thrive.

So feed your brain positivity and light as it heals.

Much love.

P.S.  And pray!  I give God ALL the glory for healing me!!!  And I give God ALL the glory for who I am now.

Amen.

 

If you feed anything that's small and new with negativity - it won't thrive.

 

^Very wise advice Fakeit!

 

This is why I am not online all that much.  I’m focusing more on my health and doing real things….like hiking, traveling, trying new recipes, etc. 

 

I’m so very glad I found this site to help me get through those dark,early days.  But now, I just try to stay positive, to keep a healthy balance in my life. 

 

I’m also glad I found a therapist that helped me deal with my underlying psychological issues, this provided a good foundation to support my healing.

 

To those reading this who are struggling, please keep fighting.  It is difficult but the results are worth it. 

Fake it, I cannot tell you how much reading your story has helped. I can relate to it so strongly as many of us can. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Fakeit thank you for writing your success story...I go back and read it over and over!

❤❤❤

Bump

So happy for you, FakeIt. I came here around the same time and it’s so glad to see you made it to the other side. Go live your life and don’t look back!

Fake it, I cannot tell you how much reading your story has helped. I can relate to it so strongly as many of us can. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

I'm glad my story helped!  It truly does make the journey worth it; to know it in a roundabout way helps other people know they will heal.

 

Thank you for letting me know it helped you. 

 

HUGS

 

Fakeit

So happy for you, FakeIt. I came here around the same time and it’s so glad to see you made it to the other side. Go live your life and don’t look back!

 

I hope you are on the other side as well.  If not, hang in there!  Your healing is coming!!  I thought it would never end.  I thought I'd be stuck that way forever.  But  that's just another horrible symptom.

 

Fakeit

So happy for you, FakeIt. I came here around the same time and it’s so glad to see you made it to the other side. Go live your life and don’t look back!

 

I hope you are on the other side as well.  If not, hang in there!  Your healing is coming!!  I thought it would never end.  I thought I'd be stuck that way forever.  But  that's just another horrible symptom.

 

Fakeit

 

Thanks FakeIt. You came here around the same time that I did. Things are better but I am still not healed. I’m reading your story again because I just need the encouragement that this nightmare will end for me one day. If I could just exercise I can closer this horrible chapter of my life. I’m losing hope but I have to remind myself that a lot of the symptoms I dealt with have slowly faded. I just never fathomed how insidious these drugs are even for extremely short term use.

Fake it, did you find the anti depressants made things worse for you? They seem to help so many people, but my symptomss seemed to get lost worse after taking them for me. Keep thinking I've really delayed recovery by taking them, and blame myself.

Did you find the mental symptoms were very slow to improve. Getting rapid cycling of symptoms recently, get coup,e days just about manage, the get day like today when recovery seem an impossible dream.

Leann, yes the AD's did make me MUCH worse. I could not stay on them so only used them for about six months. Only you know if they are good or bad for you. Talk with you Dr. and do what's best for you.

I ended up with two "clocks". One from my last day of a benzo (February 2018) and then another since my last AD. (July 10, 2018)

I honestly believe some people have a paradoxial reaction to psychological medications. My Dr. And therapist both believe I fall into that group. I was blessed with a therapist that actually looked it up in medical books and showed me that it's a thing.

Even my neurologist came around and said yes he believes it was caused by the medications.

He couldn't say that until he watched me heal; which took years. But I healed.

 

 

 

Bump

 

This is one of my favorite success stories. It’s a lovely reminder that I will heal. That I AM healing. Faking it does have benefits. To me it’s the same as practicing. Isn’t it a saying practice makes perfect?  If we think about it, we are as babes progressing. Just like a babe they learn to sit up, crawl, stand up, walk then take off running. That’s how I’m looking at my healing since reading this thread. Each phase takes some time for the brain to “ get it right”. It WILL! Right now I’m crawling well and starting to stand. Pretty soon I’ll be cruising around the furniture. I’ll be practicing taking my first steps while holding on to the furniture. Remember the massive joy of a baby’s first step??? That feeling permeates the whole house when it happens. 

Until I can take that step…. I’m faking it ( practicing). 

 

Fakeit, thank you for sharing your story. May you be happy in our Heavenly Father’s love. Enjoy your new life.

This is one of my favorite success stories. It’s a lovely reminder that I will heal. That I AM healing. Faking it does have benefits. To me it’s the same as practicing. Isn’t it a saying practice makes perfect?  If we think about it, we are as babes progressing. Just like a babe they learn to sit up, crawl, stand up, walk then take off running. That’s how I’m looking at my healing since reading this thread. Each phase takes some time for the brain to “ get it right”. It WILL! Right now I’m crawling well and starting to stand. Pretty soon I’ll be cruising around the furniture. I’ll be practicing taking my first steps while holding on to the furniture. Remember the massive joy of a baby’s first step??? That feeling permeates the whole house when it happens. 

Until I can take that step…. I’m faking it ( practicing). 

 

Fakeit, thank you for sharing your story. May you be happy in our Heavenly Father’s love. Enjoy your new life.

 

Thank you so much LadyDen!  I hope you are recovering well and that your legs are getting stronger underneath you!  I came in today to see if there was any discussion on Lions Den Mushroom supplement.  Not withdrawal related, but COVID related.  I'm 55 and between Menopause, COVID, and having suffered the brain damage from Benzo's, I just wanted to see what discussions there were here.  I'm going to give it a whirl and see if it helps with my cognitive function, etc.  I'm also Type 1 Diabetic so the benefits on nerves is also intriguing to me.

 

Life IS beautiful past withdrawal and I pray to our Lord that your healing comes quickly and completely. 

 

Fakeit