Is this not over yet??

Ugh. I went through fucking hell from January 2019-June2019 then it was more of an intermittent hell. Hours and days of feeling ok. My worst symptoms was depression/SI. I thought I was in the clear. I have been feeling good this year.....until these last few weeks. I have these spurts of depression/SI. It can often occur after exercising. I dont know what that is about. But I will have short periods of time,  sometimes literally minutes, where I just don’t feel like living (Don’t worry, I got this. I am going to live). Is this still withdrawal? Is it presenting again? This frustrates the shit out of me because I don’t know what the cause is. I is officially a bit over a year completely off Benzos. ANyone have experience with this? Am I making sense?

Sorry, guys...feeling super disappointed right now.

Well the CV 19 situation can effect at a asubliminal level even when you fell it is not effecting you. Th after exercise part is difficult to explain though

Hi.    Congratulations for getting off benzos for a year!  I was wondering of your body is having a challenge to relax after exercising?  It seems to take awhile for post withdrawal healing overall.  I physically am working my body hard at times.  I am still in withdrawal but near the end.  I find that when I do any repetitive muscle moves, I can get into trouble with muscles not releasing properly.  Even running or hiking for pleasure.  Your body and your mind are connected.  Tightness in body or mind is a stress.  Just a thought.

Both good points. Thank you!