I made it - you can make it, too!!!

Hi everybody!

It has been 4 months and a week since I jumped off benzos. I have been using them for about 6 years. At first I was on Ativan (5 mg, sometimes 7.5 mg every day). Then my doctor wanted to help me with Klonopin (I was put on 6 mg). I could not tapper from Ativan, nor Klonopin. It was too awful. So I presented my doctor the Ashton Manual and we followed a crossover plan to Valium. I slowly tappered to 2 mg and then jumped. I couldn't stand this agony anymore. It was not easy, but benefits outweight all the suffering.

 

First, let me tell you that benzos are most likely a cause for a lot of problems you currently have in your life. During my usage and tapper I was challenged by suicidal thoughts every day. I literally woke up every morning and thought that my best option would be to jump out of the window. While I was driving I was constantly thinking about hitting another car or crashing to the wall. These thoughts are NOT present today anymore. I don't know what happened to my brain … even if I force myself to think about suicide, these thoughts go by in less than a minute. Next thing is anxiety. I thought that I will never be able to leave my house without benzos. I was waking up every morning with crippeling anxiety. I thought I will never be able to get a job, be in social places etc. You know what? I don't remember last time when I had a panic attack. My anxiety declined for about 85%. I am not affraid of myself anymore. I can go anywhere, I do experience some mild discomfort, but not even close to this anxiety that I had before. I lost some weight, I look better and I connect better with the world. It is interesting to see how much emotions these pills covered. I feel like I was reborn. Everything is better. Really! Trust me, these pills cause so much damage that it cannot be expressed. Everyday I feel better and better.

How did I quit? This is a little tricky and I don't recomend anyone to go through my path, but I think it made things much easier. Well I quit with the support of alcohol. I was literally drunk 24/7 for the last 3 months of my tapper and 3 months in withdrawal. When alcohol stopped working and made things worse, I decided to quit drinking. You know, alcohol is the same as benzos. You do not act like you are drunk on benzos, but you are still heavily sedated. So I decided to quit booze, too. Yes, first 3 days were hell, but luckily it was over quickly and more and more days went by, better I felt.

So here I am now. 31 years old male without drugs or alcohol. I feel like a new world has oppened to me. I feel joy, I feel sadnes, I dream, my self-consciouness is returning, I connect with people, animals, nature … Thank you, dear God! I was so handicaped with this whole benzo situation, that now when I look to the sky and think about God – I think there must have been some higher plan for me.

I do not advise anyone to follow my path. I just want to say that there is a possibility to get through this hell. Do not be afraid of anything. Do I want to live in fear every day and miss all oportunities just because I might feel scared? No! Shopping, meetings, walking through the town etc. made me crazy anxious. Not anymore. Even when I used benzos 3x per week, it was Ativan that caused all this ridiculous anxiety. I didn't get it back then. Now I do.

Please, do yourself a favour and tapper of this poison. It is really not worth it and I guarantee you that you will experince this by yourself in some months from the last dose.

Stay strong, learn about yourself, do things that you enjoy, embrace fear and embrace saddness. They are most likely just chemically induced. They are part of our lives and the more we racionalize them, more quiet they become.

All the best!

Peter

 

Great news...that's a very fast recovery too.  Good for you.

 

Keep enjoying life!

Thank you very much!

 

If anyone likes to ask me anything about benzos, withdrawal and the symptoms ... I am here.

 

Be well!

Thank you for posting! I'm living off these success stories right now. I know everyone's recovery is different, but it's nice to see a fast recovery! the long term recovery is hard to accept emotionally/mentally - ugh. I'm still in acute - lots of fear and insecurity. Making some friends on BB which is a lifesaver!

I think you should be seing some benefits in a no-time, dear Trina. Just stay strong! IMHO the worst is behind you.

@[ko...]

 

Thanks for this, I needed to hear something nice today.  I’m riding a bad wave this week but your post boosted my mood and confirmed I am on the right path.

 

 

You are! Keep your head up and you will see how much things will improve. Incredibly good. All best! 

Congrats!

 

How did you taper? How long? How often did you cut? Etc...

 

thanks for sharing!

Hi!

 

As I said I made a (direct) crossover to Valium. Tappering of Ativan was too hard.

 

Then I followed the plan which is suggested in Ashton Manual. I think I went 2 mgs off every 14 days and then 1 mg every 14 days. I should have waited longer, but I did not want to be in this position anymore. I just jumped. It wasn't too hard. Quitting was about the same as every cut.

 

It took me about 6 months to tapper. I am sorry, I really don't remember anymore. 

 

The most severe withdrawal symptom was insomnia. I could only get a few hours of sleep each night. I had also some panic episodes during nights, I sweated a lot, I developed restless leg syndrom, brain fog was also present for quite a while ... First 14 days were the hardest, then everything subsided over the time. I would say that at 2 months I noticed a significant difference. Then things just kept getting better and better.

 

For everyone who is detoxing of Xanax, Klonopin or Ativan. Please consider the switch to Valium. It is not as potent and it is long lasting benzo.

 

Be well!

THANK YOU~!!!!

THANK YOU!

 

This is very helpful. If I had a printer, I would print it and put it on my fridge!

 

I am so glad you are doing so well.

 

 

@[Ko...]

 

Also, how long did you take the Librium and how long have you been off of it? Sorry if Im asking too many questions. I NEED to be off valium.... likely making me worse than better at 1.3mgs.

 

thanks

Hey, I have a couple questions. What dose did you start your valium taper at? Secondly, why did you jump at 2mg? That scares me, especially since insomnia is the worst symptom for me. My plan is to jump at 0.5 or even 0.25. Thank you and good work on your journey off benzos!

Thank you for posting! I'm living off these success stories right now. I know everyone's recovery is different, but it's nice to see a fast recovery! the long term recovery is hard to accept emotionally/mentally - ugh. I'm still in acute - lots of fear and insecurity. Making some friends on BB which is a lifesaver!

 

Trina, how are you feeling these days? Any better?

sunny day thanks for asking! feeling rough while writing this. It's day 15 free of ativan. Anxiety is a problem for sure. I'm getting sleep but broken with profuse sweating and bad dreams which wake me..but I'm grateful for some rest. DP/DR quite a bit but it does let up - weird how all the symptoms do come in waves. Head pressure. Cognition is an issue for sure -not remembering things, train of thought -I'm usually a sharp person. Other physical symptoms. I can do some things during the day, but mornings are always harder for me bc my cortisol is o high right now. Took a walk outside yesterday which was nice.

Honestly I'm scared today. Scared to be stuck like this forever. I'm trying so hard to be positive; to fight. I live off these success stories. Hopefully it will be me one day writing one:)