My confidence has deserted me

I am currently withdrawing from ambien.  Was on 10mg for over 20 years.  Now, down to 2.5 mg. 

Also I take xanax, which i tapered last year (1/3 down from downe from 2.5).  Now I have gone back to 2.5 of xanax.  I am the sole caregiver for my 101 year old mother.

My problem, (one of many) I have absolutely no confidence in myself, and making decisions.  I am a retired RN, and I feel like a failure, because I lack the wherewithal to be my n top of things taking care of Mom.

Do any of you fine your confidence in yourself returning?  Or changing, as you taper.

Hi, Susan. You're doing great things for your mom. Let me say that so that you can see from the outside perspective and from someone who has been a caregiver of parents.

I will say this. Anything and everything is subject to blunting, both on the meds and in withdrawal. In tolerance withdrawal, as it were, or actual withdrawal though, one might be all over the place. Me? Well, kind of knocked down a couple of rungs in everything, that's how I feel.

Also, please don't let the fact of what you're doing escape your mind. It can have a large impact on many aspects of your life, even though I applaud you for doing it.

Hugs.

Hello Susan,

Don't worry, your confidence will return.  Right now you are doing something very important for your health and wellbeing, that is the 'job' you have at this point. 

Benzo3 is right, the meds or the withdrawal can have significant effect on emotions. The emotional blunting is something that will ease up with time. As that happens your confidence with life in general will increase. 

In my opinion it's well worth the effort, being benzo free and healed is pretty amazing.  I've been off a long time and healed a long time but I do remember that I wasn't the real me while on the drugs or during withdrawal. It was worth the wait.

pianogirl 

Caregiving elderly parents is a marathon full of unexpected demands emotionally and physically. It whips the tar out of most fully functioning people. The fact you're doing it and dealing with 2 drugs at the same time- Wow. If you can just put one foot in front of the other, you're a success. "On top of it with your Mom;" if you can manage normal stuff, good enough. The emotions will come and go, it's the nature of the beast.

Give yourself a break. The drugs will warp your perception. Remind yourself as a former RN what advice you'd give a patient and their family in the same situation. I'd bet you'd be kind and supportive.

Hang in there. Things will change.

You are doing 2 very hard things at the same time. You are a champ.

Is there other family around you can bounce things off of if you need help (and who should be helping you, too)?

I am currently withdrawing from ambien.  Was on 10mg for over 20 years.  Now, down to 2.5 mg. 

 

Also I take xanax, which i tapered last year (1/3 down from downe from 2.5).  Now I have gone back to 2.5 of xanax.  I am the sole caregiver for my 101 year old mother.

 

My problem, (one of many) I have absolutely no confidence in myself, and making decisions.  I am a retired RN, and I feel like a failure, because I lack the wherewithal to be my n top of things taking care of Mom.

 

Do any of you fine your confidence in yourself returning?  Or changing, as you taper.