Guest [Ka...] Posted February 9, 2020 Share Posted February 9, 2020 Boy howdy, this taper thing is changing my perspective on a quite a few things. I am not beating myself up here but I am starting to see how taking a benzo gave me "permission" to do things that were not in my best interest. I would push myself a little harder, then get tired/anxious and take pill, avoid taking care of myself and then get over-wrought and take a pill, say "YES" to something I really wanted to say "NO to and then get anxious and take a pill ... on and on it went. Years of bad habits. So, today a family member who has taken advantage of me for years (and yes, I have permitted it, am an equal partner in this unhealthy song and dance we've been at) asked me come to their house and do to something for them and I said, "No, I am staying home today". No apologies, no made-up excuses ... just NO, I am doing what I want to do today. Not easy but once I did it, I felt great. I don't feel I have the luxury of overlooking self-care now and BB friends, that is a very good thing. I am keeping my commitments and not avoiding things but I am also looking at what I need to give the heave-ho to, what is no longer/never did work in my life. If anyone has had the same experience during/after taper, I would love to hear about it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[NJ...] Posted February 9, 2020 Share Posted February 9, 2020 I am currently in a long hold but am definitely drawing more lines in the sand with what I am willing to do. I have been the primary "go to" for my parents' health issues for more than a decade. My sisters help very little. I am done with this. I will do what I can when I can but am not going above and beyond anymore. I have had a lot on my plate personally and my siblings should be ashamed of themselves for their behavior. I do think self care is so important. I am back in therapy to try to manage my relationships now so that I can maintain a healthy distance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Pa...] Posted February 9, 2020 Share Posted February 9, 2020 Dang Kate, you're amazing, good for you! I could so relate to your comments about what we did while taking the pill, I was doing the dating thing while I was taking Klonopin and it allowed me to put myself in situations I would never have been in had I not taken it. I don't think much about those times now but they were there full force when I was in withdrawals since those negative thoughts and feelings are a constant companion. I see so much wisdom in your words though, we used the pill to go around our instinct to say no, it sounds like you've made a great start in how to live the rest of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [Ka...] Posted February 9, 2020 Share Posted February 9, 2020 Thank you for your replies NJstrength and Pamster. I just knew someone out there might be able to relate! Heaven knows changing is not easy but it is essential if I am going to move forward. Self-honesty is so humbling but that is essential, too, at least for me. Who knows where this taper thing is going to lead?? But I think my mind is already starting to clear up and I am thinking better/seeing reality more clearly than I have in a very long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Le...] Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 I am in a similar situation. Maybe since I read people here, or maybe since my tapering that makes me see more clear (or practical) daily situations, or both (Reading BB and tapering) I don´t stand no more toxic people. I learned to say NO. Seems that nobody understands my situation and... who wants to listen about problems, pains, etc etc all the time? I undestand that, so I just say NO, with no excuses, they will not undestand, and I don´t want to explain it all the time. Congratulations! You`ll get healthier avoiding that kind of people and sorry for my English Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [Ka...] Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 Thanks Leo51! Way to go on taking care of yourself. We are learning new, better ways of living through this process and that is a very good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Le...] Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 Thanks Kate08! I realized that all of us had problems in our daily life… as people not on benzos too… and we wanted to solve them taking more benzo… feeling better for a while… but now we know that we have to face the problems not taking more pills! Last week I had a serious problem with my relatives… my first thought inmediatly was to take the benzo pill, but I resisted and nothing wrong happened! Best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [Ka...] Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 Way to go Leo51! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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