Just Venting

How do you deal with anger and depression. I’m angry at the people who did this and sad that I’ll never have the body I had before. Even if go on to heal and feel better it’s never gonna be like it never happen. Even if I can’t see it, every wound leaves a scar and who knows if this experience doesn’t raise your risk for illnesses later in life. I took care of my body all my life and this Is my nightmare, I would have rather lost a leg then this bull shit. Plus We never get back the time, money, and relationships we have lost. I get that you need some positivity but this blows no matter how you spin it.

I feel you, man. I'm 22 months off and struggling big time with depression and anger. The depression seems to be my brain at its worse and then when it let's up the anger comes to the surface. The worst part is I'm angry at my loved ones who have done nothing wrong. I have a very hard time being around people outside of work because of the anger. No idea when it will ever go away, if it does at all. Most of my adult life I've been medicated and all of my adult life I've drank until this happened to me.

 

I've been having some good days every once in a while and it almost makes feeling bad again that much worse.

I’m angry with my family too. I blame my mom for suggesting I take the meds even though I know deep down that it was my choice. And I’m mad at the rest of them for not believing me and not understanding. Some days I’m in my give up mode where I just surrender to everything, and then some days I get upset again. I also totally get the good days thing. Having good days is almost worse becouse you feel like your healing, then when you go back to a bad day your like “wow I am still this messed up”. I knew about windows and wave but now that I’m experiencing some windows I finally get it.

Yeah, I've been in a more/less state of rage in recent months - burned several bridges with in-laws, friends, that can't be taken back. They don't try or simply can't understand what's going on with me and my wife can't explain it to them either. My relationship is pretty much ruined and I live with a long list of regrets. I avoid social interactions for this reason so it's pretty much just me and the cat, hold up in my room upstairs 23/7. With the depression/anxiety, insanity, etc. I can only hope my life (61) ends sooner rather than later. Benzos can cause insanity - I'm quite convinced now.