I had to updose...

After three months of physical torture at 9mg with no windows, I updosed to 11mg today. The horrific pain which is like acid moving through all my nerves and worse and worse jerking movements were getting worse every afternoon, no windows or even stabilisation at the same level of pain. Realised that what was happening started when I got rid of all daytime doses. Now have to get stable by increasing dosage throughout the day. I tried EVERYTHING to get through this but the pain was making me psychotic. I thought I was dying. Looking back at how fast I reacted to cuts from the beginning and how I have reacted to other drugs I think that unfortunately I'm an ultra fast metabolizer of Valium. My family just couldn't cope with six hours of screaming every day. I didn't expect to stabilise so that things were perfect, I can handle a good deal of anxiety, dizziness, headaches, interrupted sleep, depression. This pain was a thousand times worse than when I had sepsis. Much worse also than meningitis. Everyone I saw basically thought I was going through a small cold turkey every afternoon despite still being on the benzo. I really messed up following every tiny instruction in the Ashton Taper and will not be trying that method again but rather a micro taper if I ever feel up to it. I am not saying the Ashton Taper is not good for a lot of people but I have always had a super fast metabolism when it came to food or alcoholic beverages, so I think dosing quite a large chunk of Valium once a day was not for me. Hopefully, I get some relief.

I hope you get some relief too, we all have to do what we must to survive this, I'm so sorry for your pain.  I agree, there are some who need to do a slow taper, probably more than we realize.  The Ashton manual was the first, the only guide of it's kind so it provided a baseline, but certainly we all need to do this at our own pace.  I spread this message every time I welcome a new member, there are the suggested guidelines, but this needs to be symptom and patient driven.

 

I hope you can stabilize and begin to feel better, and when you're ready, we'll be happy to help you design a taper labeled benzowarrior00 , it will so so specific to you and your needs you'll probably want to trademark it. 

I hope you get some relief too, we all have to do what we must to survive this, I'm so sorry for your pain.  I agree, there are some who need to do a slow taper, probably more than we realize.  The Ashton manual was the first, the only guide of it's kind so it provided a baseline, but certainly we all need to do this at our own pace.  I spread this message every time I welcome a new member, there are the suggested guidelines, but this needs to be symptom and patient driven.

 

I hope you can stabilize and begin to feel better, and when you're ready, we'll be happy to help you design a taper labeled benzowarrior00 , it will so so specific to you and your needs you'll probably want to trademark it. 

 

Thank you for your kind words and support 

There is an updosing support group in the Support Group section. There are may of us who choose this route for various reasons. You cut a lot in a short amount of time so don't worry. I hope you feel better soon.

I too hope you get some relief. We're all different when it comes to tapering, as far as how our bodies react and all you can do is what's best for you. Hang in there.

Warrior - I just wanted to check in and ask how you are doing.