My Ambiem withdrawal

Just a question from the peanut gallery. Those doses of ambien are huge. I take just 10 MG at night and go into a deep sleep for 4 to 5 hours. How do you get on such a high dose?

With time, the body and brain build tolerance. And I was stupid enough to let it happen. That’s the short and direct answer.

 

10mg does not touch me in any way at all.

Hey Headspace, I'm sorry, I was sick for a few days a flu like something but have been thinking of you.  I read back several pages and read about your throat.  You don't think it's a virus or infection do you? I just wanted to bring it up because there are several antibiotics we shouldn't take.  I am sure Pamster or east could tell you what they are.  They can cause setbacks.  Just wanted you to know if there is a problem besides benzo's wrong with your throat.  I know all of this is so hard but you have a lot of experience backing you up with Pam and east.  Mary 💜💜

Good point Mary, Headspace, here is a link of which antibiotics you need to avoid just in case.  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=36633.0

 

Did that panic attack happen?  I would imagine you get anticipatory anxiety thinking about going to the Dr, I do even when I go for regular checkups, I'm always amazed my blood pressure as good as it is because of my nerves. 

 

What goals have you set for yourself lately, are you trying to do at least one thing each day to give you a sense of accomplishment? I remember how proud I was when I was able to get a sofa cushion cover back on after I'd laundered it. I struggled with it for a few days, giving up trying to coax that big cushion back into it's fabric pocket.  Think about how simple this task is, but then think about how difficult everything in withdrawal is.  The day I finally got that sucker back on was a reason to celebrate and I did by giving myself a pat on the back.

 

So, dear Headspace, find your sofa cushion and let me know if you are able to get it back on today.

Hi Mary, I’m sorry to hear you had the flu and am hoping you heal up well. Thanks as always for checking in. I’m not on any of the antibiotics that are on the list Pamster has so kindly provided, but the sore throat is not going away. I’ve seen a general practitioner 3 times and I’m due in to see him on Friday of my throat does not clear up by then.

 

A world full of doctors and illness, I feel like I’m battling on all fronts.

 

Hi Pamster, the panic attack happened indeed, violently struck by fear and tears. I wonder how you guys stay so strong. I just sat through it for a few hours and eventually it passed but wow was it exhausting.

 

I really wish I had something good to report, does facing a cutback in dosage count as a challenge much like the sofa cushion?

 

I want to be braver like you, stronger like you, accomplish a challarnge a day like you but I find myself faltering. I will keep on trying though, and will always remember your sofa cushion.

 

One day I’ll get that sofa cushion on, not today, but one day.

Hi Mary, I’m sorry to hear you had the flu and am hoping you heal up well. Thanks as always for checking in. I’m not on any of the antibiotics that are on the list Pamster has so kindly provided, but the sore throat is not going away. I’ve seen a general practitioner 3 times and I’m due in to see him on Friday of my throat does not clear up by then.

 

A world full of doctors and illness, I feel like I’m battling on all fronts.

 

Hi Pamster, the panic attack happened indeed, violently struck by fear and tears. I wonder how you guys stay so strong. I just sat through it for a few hours and eventually it passed but wow was it exhausting.

 

I really wish I had something good to report, does facing a cutback in dosage count as a challenge much like the sofa cushion?

 

I want to be braver like you, stronger like you, accomplish a challarnge a day like you but I find myself faltering. I will keep on trying though, and will always remember your sofa cushion.

 

One day I’ll get that sofa cushion on, not today, but one day.

 

I love that sofa cushion Pamster, you should tell more people that.  It really paints a clear picture of accomplishing something simple when we are struggling so with withdrawal. 

Some days you can Headspace and there are days you just survive, just keep trying.....I may cut out a picture of a cushion and hang it on the fridge door.  Will be a good reminder for me to!!  💜💜

Hi Mary, always happy to hear from you, thank you for acknowledging that some days we need to just survive. I cling to that on a daily basis.

 

I shall, as you said, keep trying and trying.

 

Now imagine a cut out of a sofa cushion hanging on your fridge. That brings a smile to my face Mary!

Hi Mary, always happy to hear from you, thank you for acknowledging that some days we need to just survive. I cling to that on a daily basis.

 

I shall, as you said, keep trying and trying.

 

Now imagine a cut out of a sofa cushion hanging on your fridge. That brings a smile to my face Mary!

 

I am glad you smiled, some days it takes a good smile or laugh to ease things some.  To remember we do still smile and find things funny....maybe not often while we are in the thick of it, but one day you will notice things like a laugh here and there coming back.  .  Yes, looks just like that. 

With time, the body and brain build tolerance. And I was stupid enough to let it happen. That’s the short and direct answer.

 

10mg does not touch me in any way at all.

 

Headspace, You were NOT stupid at all. This mess is not your fault. In a weird way it is no ones fault. No one knows why some people become so easily addicted. And do you know that the vast majority of people  abruptly go off benzos and Z drugs and have NO withdrawal at all? It seems just this tiny minority of people do have such awful withdrawals. I realized early on I had to not blame myself, OR my doctor. I had to admit that the way I presented myself to that psych doctor did tell him I needed benzos. I am sure I came across as depressed and anxious, but what I learned afterwards was the over time benzos  CAUSE those things. And I had NOT told the psych doc the truth, that I self medicated for 20 years. That is my reality, something I am not proud of, but it it what happened.

Head, do this sort of like AA says...one day at a time.

east

Pamster-

 

What's the antibiotic we should avoid ?

You provided someone a list please

share it with me.

 

Thanks

Pamster-

 

What's the antibiotic we should avoid ?

You provided someone a list please

share it with me.

 

Thanks

 

If Pam doesn't see this, is on page 18 reply 178 on this thread. 

Floroquinolones (hope my spelling this is sort of right!) Levaquin is one of them. During three hospital stays, back when I was still on benzos, I was given IV Levaquin 3 times. It threw me into benzo withdrawal. I had the most awful panic attacks shortly after each dose was given. My Medical doc always refused to give me my benzos while in the hospital. I became so anxious and restless, I asked the urse to please call my doctor and get my Klonapin prescribed. Instead, I was given a psych consult. He ordered ONE dose of Ativan.

God almighty I am so glad I got off benzos. Horrible drugs that truly can wreck your life, if you let them.

east

I want to be braver like you, stronger like you

 

I need to disabuse you of the idea that I was brave and strong, that is not how I was.  I was a pile of quivering goo, my fear ran rampant and I was anything but brave and strong.  I whined and whimpered, but you won't see that here on these pages because I didn't have the honesty to put my feelings out there like you do.  I just wanted you to know the truth, I'm no different than anyone else here, this stuff hurts and no one gets out of it without it breaking into pieces. 

Hi Headspace,

 

Just a quick note from you would be great, kind of wondering how you are, no judgement from me.  I hope your throat is feeling better.

 

Pamster

Hi Pamster, I visited the Er for my throat and it’s not going away. This’s the fourth time I’ve seen a doctor for this condition in 3 weeks.

 

I don’t deal with pain well and it’s affecting my anxiety which is threatening to burst out.

 

They have me some penicillin antibiotics, pain killers and flu meds but nothings is working. I’m fighting this battle on 2 fronts and it’s wearing me thin.

 

A sore throat for 3 weeks should warrant some attention no? The doctors just seem to throw random meds at it and expect it to go away.

 

I know I sound incredibly whiny and most people will think man up it’s “just” a flu but it is affecting me very badly.

Gargle with warm salt water.  Was your throat infected.  Why the penicillin?  What pain meds?  Do they say you have the flu?

My throat is infected, the penicillin is to be taken for 10 days as an antibiotic. I’ve been through oral steroids, paracetamol, voltaren and now I’m taking Arcoxia.

 

The doctors can’t even give me a proper diagnosis.

I can see you're in a lot of pain plus you're in a weakened condition from the trauma of the withdrawal, anyone would be worn down by now, please don't be so hard on yourself.  The flu is deadly, it has killed more humans than any other disease so I don't think you need to man up, it's serious.  How are you parents, have they been ill as well?  I'm sorry nothing seems to be giving you any relief, I know you're sick, but keep checking in, we care about you.

 

 

I am so sorry you are struggling so Headspace.  The whole thing sucks and then a bad virus or throat infection the Dr just keeps throwing meds at.  Try to drink as many liquids as possible things you can eat without hurting your throat.  Warm salt water has been a staple for sore throats for years, so definitely give it a try to see if it can help ease the pain.  Thinking of you, Mary 💜☮️💜☮️💜☮️💜

head, this is just a bump in your road. I went through something similar in my first year off. I fainted, fell, and broke a rib. Ouch. Went to a walk in clinic, and was given some Tramadol for the pain. Two weeks later I was just fine.

Don't let this upset you, its only a virus. Much less worse than getting off benzos!

east

Dear bnotafraid, Mary, Pamster and eastcoast, I repeatedly thank you for all the encouragement you’ve consistently given me, a total and complete stranger, here.

 

I just tried gargling with salt water and it does help, my throat feels better now.

 

East I’m sorry to hear about your broken rib, that must have been a world of pain and you were so brave to recover in 2 weeks.

 

MarY and bnotafraid, the salt water did the trick and I’m definitely going to follow up with it, I have to admit, I am always the type frantically googling cures and diagnosis and different drugs. But your advice in a nutshell has made me feel better than I have in weeks.

 

Pamster you have more empathy than anyone I’ve ever met, even from a million miles away, my parents are fine and not ill, your care knows no bounds as you always ask about them.

 

I know this is a secular forum but I’m learnt to give up my healing, my journey, my afflictions and surrender them all to God and his will.

 

I feel a sense of calm now and I only wish I could get to know you guys in real life.

 

 

((Headspace))

 

Sending love, light and healing vibes to you and your Parents.  I m so sorry you are suffering it's not right and you are stronger and braver then you know.  It's a slow process I mean slowww!  You are so blessed to have your Parents.  But honestly it's such a lonely journey.  You are going to get through this and I m so sorry for your pain.  Please keep us updated.  ✌️💪💜🙏

 

B

Oh Headspace, I might have a tear  . My mom gave me salt water and it's so simple and has just been passed down for years.  I am so glad it helped    it's nice when we can help, because so many helped us.  And I agree about Pamster and Bnot :smitten:

It's so good to hear from you, and kudos to the wonderful ladies who suggested the salt water gargle, isn't it amazing something so simple can be the answer?  Wouldn't it have been wonderful if each of us had used a similar approach when dealing with whatever life issues caused us to reach for a pill?  Hopefully after this we can all be a little wiser in the choices we make.

 

I'm relieved to hear your parents are well and it's wonderful to know you feel a sense of calm, this is a gift and even if it only lasts for a moment, it lets you know you can still feel this and will again. 

 

You have empathy as well Headspace, you always make an effort to acknowledge each and every visitor to your thread, you make people feel special even through your pain.  Give yourself credit, there is a reason we continue to visit and encourage you, you have worth, I hope you can see what we see in you.

In our modern society, we tend to assume is something is wrong, we "need to take a pill." We have been told this from year one, via TV, radio, Internet, etc. What a huge lie it often is! Simple fixes like salt water gargle, often work better than any darn pill could.

When I have symptoms of a cold virus, I immediately start using zinc lozenges. Harmless things, but they kill the cold virus that multiplies in your throat. I have done this for over 30 years now, and it has worked almost every single time.

 

A broken rib isnt that painful. It aches, but eventually it heals itself, just as our benzo brains do. Now, back 10 years ago when I was still on benzos, I f.ell and fractured my right knee, femur and hip. THAT hurt so much I fainted. I know for sure if I hadn't been on benzos, that would have never happened. That fall and injury changed my life....forever.  I could easily be bitter now, angry that my formerly beloved benzos did all that to me. But....I know I just have to accept that this occurred and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. But a part of me will be always pissed that benzos caused this.

BUT.....who TOOK those benzos?  ME.

 

Head you are no longer a stranger here. You have several people "following you", which means your story has struck a similar cord with those people. You are one of us now.

 

I am not a religious person but am spiritual. And I too had to sort of give it all up and let MY Higher Spirit take over.

 

Once I healed, I was amazed to find that I felt so good. My mind was clear, I was able to really FEEL again, I was able to LOVE again, something I hadn't felt for OH so long.

 

Never give up, headspace.

east (Annie)