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Third time lucky .... well sort of...


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Finally thought it was time to write a success story of withdrawing from Valium which I have now done three times over a period of 1 years though with some good periods during that time.  I completed my last taper 14 months ago and I have no lingering side effects at all and I can have an alcoholic drink or two now without any bad effects the next day though I do feel the effects quickly and so drinking is a rare event for me. 

 

So my first taper was in 2006 and lasted a year reducing from 10mg of Valium; this was due to being prescribed nitrazepam to counter the serotonin syndrome effects of SSRI medication given to me for insomnia.  After taking this for a month and then went off it I was plunged into cold turkey hell for 6 months - I couldn't sleep, work or eat it was a 'living death'.  No medic would listen and told me it wasn't the benzo I had been off it ages.... However, I was convinced it was and ended up contacting CITA in Liverpool and they pressured my GP to put me on a Valium taper and bingo I was functional again.  A tough taper but back to work halfway through and jumped off with no lingering effects.  Fast forward to 2015 and was experiencing the effects of the perimenopause with violent mood swings and high anxiety, couldn't continue like this as was about to start a doctorate and had young family to look after.  So went to the Marion Gluck clinic in London and paid a fortune for some progesterone cream which would 'calm me down'.  Well it did but after a couple of weeks started to feel bloated and just 'odd' - clinic said double to dose so I did and felt worse.  Had my blood tested privately and the lab called urgently to say my progesterone was at toxic levels.  I quit progesterone straight away and began to suffer the same 'cold turkey' type symptoms from 2006 .  Research showed me that progesterone works on GABA just like benzos do!! Paniced as there was now way I could taper off a cream so managed to persuade a GP to put me a Valium taper which she did and came off in 4 months and was fine during and after.

 

Still had perimenopause issues so went to a different GP who said take the pill and gave me low dose loestrin - HUGE mistake and one I will always regret.  It made my scalp prickle straight away but I persisted stupidly for a fortnight and then quit - back into violent cold turkey again.  A locum GP gave me two weeks of Valium but no more - other GPs said no we won't do a taper unless it is rapid.  Well tried a rapid taper and despite only being back on Valium a couple of weeks I got worse and had to updose a bit. Still bad; GP said we won't treat you go to the addiction clinic.  No way so I went private with an amazing GP who got it.  BUT, due to NHS making me rapid taper I was in a state and was updosed.  It took me over two months to stabilise on the dose (14mg Valium) but I persevered and never took a 'rescue dose'.  Luckily I contacted Una Corbett at BAT and she was amazing and convinced me I wasn't paradoxical or tolerant and that my nervous system just needed to 'catch up'.  I didn't belive her as some days and nights were like cold turkey again but she was right.  I then slowly tapered for almost 2 years and finished November 2018.  Symptoms reduced as I progressed through the taper; it was patient-centred and my GP was happy for me to go at my own pace in fact she often had to tell me to slow down.  When I jumped off 0.25mg (liquid at this point) I suffered no symptoms at all.

 

So I guess my 'top tips' from my complex journey would be:

Reinstatement can work but you need to be very patient - no one can tell you how long it will be before you are ready to cut.

Don't select arbitrary timescales - follow your body

'REscue doses' should not be named this as they don't 'rescue; you if anything they upset your nervous system further

It really doesn't make much difference what you eat or drink; symptoms arrive randomly and cannot be linked to the last thing you did or ate

If you have other illnesses take the medication; I took painkillers and antibiotics as I needed them during my taper it was fine

I used acupuncture and meditation but do whatever makes you feel better or less bad - this is different for different people

I don't believe there is a 'magic pill' to get rid of withdrawals; they peak and trough but feel like they will go on forever when in them

 

So that's it; I hopefully will never have to take benzos ever again and I do urge caution with chemicals that do act on GABA such as progesterone as GPs aren't always able to make the link.

 

Good luck and healing to all  XXXX

 

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Interesting story. Thanks for sharing it.

 

Some things that hit home are violent mood swings. Mine aren't even mood swings all the time but just a general feeling of being violently angry all the time. I've been off 22 months now.

 

Also, I have thought many times about having my testosterone checked too and I did early on. It was fine according to doctors. But I understand that hormone stuff can just make people feel worse over time as well.

 

I think it's true what you said about eating. I don't think symptoms should be linked to the food you eat. I've had nights where I gorged on fast food and felt better than ever. I've had nights where I had a berry smoothie and broccoli and felt terrible. It makes no difference what you eat if you could handle eating that stuff prior to withdrawal.

 

I've thought about reinstatement many times, getting on Valium and doing a proper taper, and maybe I should. I've been off 22 months now and off alcohol for nearly 20.

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Blaggybum-

 

Thanks so much for sharing your very encouraging story of healing. I’m guessing you know what a lifeline Success Stories are for members in the thick of withdrawal.

 

It’s wonderful to read your story - Thanks also for your ‘top tips’!  :)

 

Enjoy your hard won days of freedom from benzo suffering-

Brighterday

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Wow blaggybum, what an amazing journey you've been on, I'm so glad you've finally found peace.  The harm done to you breaks my heart, but your ability to advocate for yourself is commendable and brave.

 

Thank you for coming back to offer hope to others, and I agree with each and every one of your tips for success.  :thumbsup:

 

Pamster

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