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I see now how events cause me anxiety waves


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I took benzos for 13 years for anxiety induced insomnia.

I did slow taper for 8 months.

I am 16 months since reaching zero benzo.

I am mostly healed.

 

BUT HERE IS WHAT I LEARNED.

 

This week, my daughter and I both had medical procedures scheduled.

 

This triggered me.  Terrible anxiety induced insomnia.  Just awful.  I bet, as soon as the medical stuff is over, I will feel much better.

 

I do not know how to cope with this.  Events like this rob me of life. 

 

I guess seeing the problem is the first step in finding a solution.

 

 

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Hey Bob.  I have this as well.  There are probably a handful of things that cause me some sort of stress, similar to you and your daughter's medical procedures, and yeah, it brings up all kinds of symptoms.  This is definitely something I am working on.  I have been doing a lot of staying calm and observing my thoughts and trying to challenge the beliefs that get me to the anxious states.  However, I am still fine tuning this, and not able to completely hear all my thoughts yet.  So far, I have only been able to do this with little things, not so much the big, anxiety producing ones.  Not yet at least. 

 

 

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Hey Bob.  I have this as well.  There are probably a handful of things that cause me some sort of stress, similar to you and your daughter's medical procedures, and yeah, it brings up all kinds of symptoms.  This is definitely something I am working on.  I have been doing a lot of staying calm and observing my thoughts and trying to challenge the beliefs that get me to the anxious states.  However, I am still fine tuning this, and not able to completely hear all my thoughts yet.  So far, I have only been able to do this with little things, not so much the big, anxiety producing ones.  Not yet at least.

Hi GreenCup,

Always good to hear from you.

I too am trying so hard to "live in the moment" and not worry about future.  My wife can do it so well. 

I wish you the best.

Bob

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Hi Bob, I can only thank you so much....

 

You helped me with my taper and I will always be grateful

 

I also have anxiety by this kind of events, specially medical related.

I don’t want to say my career is ruined because of this, but it makes me very anxious to deal with people, specially when you have so much responsability like I do, as a dental field practitioner....

I am taking a break from work because of this

 

I am glad you are mostly healed

Sending you lots of love

 

Blossom

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Hi Bob, I can only thank you so much....

 

You helped me with my taper and I will always be grateful

 

I also have anxiety by this kind of events, specially medical related.

I don’t want to say my career is ruined because of this, but it makes me very anxious to deal with people, specially when you have so much responsability like I do, as a dental field practitioner....

I am taking a break from work because of this

 

I am glad you are mostly healed

Sending you lots of love

 

Blossom

You are so sweet Blossom.

 

You made my day.

 

I am sorry to hear about your career - this benzo problem has so many ways of hurting us. 

 

I read you last dose was Nov 3 - congratulations.  No matter what else happens, you have won that battle and should be proud of yourself.

 

I read some folks recover fast after the last dose and others take up to 1 to 3 years.  While I am mostly healed in my first 6 months, I guess the rest of my healing might take the 1 to 3 year path.

 

I hope you recover very fast.

 

Healing does happen.

 

Bob

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Hi Bob, I can only thank you so much....

 

You helped me with my taper and I will always be grateful

 

I also have anxiety by this kind of events, specially medical related.

I don’t want to say my career is ruined because of this, but it makes me very anxious to deal with people, specially when you have so much responsability like I do, as a dental field practitioner....

I am taking a break from work because of this

 

I am glad you are mostly healed

Sending you lots of love

 

Blossom

You are so sweet Blossom.

 

You made my day.

 

I am sorry to hear about your career - this benzo problem has so many ways of hurting us. 

 

I read you last dose was Nov 3 - congratulations.  No matter what else happens, you have won that battle and should be proud of yourself.

 

I read some folks recover fast after the last dose and others take up to 1 to 3 years.  While I am mostly healed in my first 6 months, I guess the rest of my healing might take the 1 to 3 year path.

 

I hope you recover very fast.

 

Healing does happen.

 

Bob

Hi Bob, always pleasant to talk to you. This forum definitely helps me not feeling so alone in this difficult path, I try to be as positive as I can, you guys are part of that positivity, and I am so thankful for it.

 

I am starting to feel better. Health anxiety is a serious problem, I am starting to cope with it and seeing life very different.

1-3 years is what I supposed it would be, I am ready for it.

 

Juicing eliminated my gastritis 90%, I can't believe it, and I only did it for 12 hours.

Carrot 50%, 40% celery ,10% beet (1 small)

 

a Dr who is really into alternative therapy and food gave it to someone and that someone gave it to me.

 

So it's not all that bad. I am also taking Biotiquin, it's hydrosoluble carotene; apparently they only have the patent (it's said it cures cancer, yes) .

it's Mexican, but apparently they are doing it worldwide, the recommended "treatment" is 6 bottes, but I'm only at mi first one, we'll see.

 

Big hug Bob,

 

we will heal

 

Blossom

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I have a triggering event happening tomorrow, and it's so dumb that I get nervous about it.  I honestly am frustrated, cause factwise, I don't really have any reasons to be nervous, except me dreading feeling sicker afterwards, and possibly starting a wave because of my anxiety over tomorrow's event.  !!!  Trying hard to stay in the present. 
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I have a triggering event happening tomorrow, and it's so dumb that I get nervous about it.  I honestly am frustrated, cause factwise, I don't really have any reasons to be nervous, except me dreading feeling sicker afterwards, and possibly starting a wave because of my anxiety over tomorrow's event.  !!!  Trying hard to stay in the present.

I know this may sound frivolous but try chewing some gum because apparently the brain has trouble telling you to be anxious when you're eating food and chewing gum gives the same sort of message. 

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I have a triggering event happening tomorrow, and it's so dumb that I get nervous about it.  I honestly am frustrated, cause factwise, I don't really have any reasons to be nervous, except me dreading feeling sicker afterwards, and possibly starting a wave because of my anxiety over tomorrow's event.  !!!  Trying hard to stay in the present.

The gum part sounds great.

Just try not to think about it a lot... and be confident :)

You’ll do great!!!

Blossom

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I took benzos for 13 years for anxiety induced insomnia.

I did slow taper for 8 months.

I am 16 months since reaching zero benzo.

I am mostly healed.

 

BUT HERE IS WHAT I LEARNED.

 

This week, my daughter and I both had medical procedures scheduled.

 

This triggered me.  Terrible anxiety induced insomnia.  Just awful.  I bet, as soon as the medical stuff is over, I will feel much better.

 

I do not know how to cope with this.  Events like this rob me of life. 

 

I guess seeing the problem is the first step in finding a solution.

 

I am like this too. I just lost my job last week, and obviously that was a HUGE trigger. I am a wreck and probably will be until I am settled into a new gig, which might be freaking months until I feel "settled". I have already landed about a dozen interviews, so I am not worried about getting a new job. I AM soooo worried about being able to do said job. It's not so much the job that makes me anxious, it's the anxiety that the anxiety itself and other symptoms will prevent me from being able to. I am just pushing on and faking like everything is normal... it is so hard though.

 

I have to say that it is unnerving that you are still experiencing this at 16 months off. I am praying that I'm one of the lucky ones that heals quickly after my jump, but I need to start accepting the fact that I may be on the 1-3 year plan as well.

 

I like your gum suggestion, I think I will try that. I do find myself snacking a lot all day because it seems to calm my anxiety. So you might be onto something here.

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I am doing better.

I also seem to think, the more anxiety events, the more waves and once a wave starts, my blood pressure is harder to control.

 

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[c8...]
Glad you are better Bob7.  I am new to this site and am doing a rapid Klonopin taper.  I've had blood pressure problems when anxious.  My family doc gave me a rx for Propranolol to take when needed.  I don't think I would be this far with my taper without.  I hope be free of BOTH meds in the near future.  This site is very helpful!  ;)
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I am doing better.

I also seem to think, the more anxiety events, the more waves and once a wave starts, my blood pressure is harder to control.

 

There's a direct correlation between the amount of benzo anxiety I have and how high my bp gets. I'm now doing exercise in an effort to put more stress on my body so that it gets used to the stress of exercise. I don't know if it'll help ease the bp, but it's worth a try.

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When I am nervous my bp spikes for sure, I’ve been at the Dr’s office and had my bp spike because of anxiety then I get home and when I’m relaxed I grab the machine quickly without too much thought and do deep breathing to try and trick my brain from knowing that I am “going to take my bp” (I don’t know if this makes sense) even the thought about talking my bp accelerates my cardiac rhythm (and obviously the bp goes up)

When I do this and trick my brain (after being relaxed for 20 min) my readings are normal....

 

Blossom

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So I had a triggering event for me, last week, and I honestly think I did pretty good.  However, I do notice that sometimes, I am able to literally push anxiety and fear aside, and out of my mind and be able to sleep and not worry, whereas other times I just have a very hard time doing that.  I am scheduling more stuff in my life now, as I start to feel better, so I am hoping I get better at this.  I have anxiety triggering events frequently now, but I am hoping that I will get used to them and be better able to not get anxious about it.
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So I had a triggering event for me, last week, and I honestly think I did pretty good.  However, I do notice that sometimes, I am able to literally push anxiety and fear aside, and out of my mind and be able to sleep and not worry, whereas other times I just have a very hard time doing that.  I am scheduling more stuff in my life now, as I start to feel better, so I am hoping I get better at this.  I have anxiety triggering events frequently now, but I am hoping that I will get used to them and be better able to not get anxious about it.

I think you are on to something GreenCup.  It is like we used Benzos to protect us from "knowing how to set anxiety aside".  Now that the benzos are gone, we need to learn to cope with anxiety, it probably takes as long as a child takes to learns such behavior. 

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I think you are on to something GreenCup.  It is like we used Benzos to protect us from "knowing how to set anxiety aside".  Now that the benzos are gone, we need to learn to cope with anxiety, it probably takes as long as a child takes to learns such behavior.

 

I definitely think this is part of it, but I also feel like my CNS is so weak and compromised that it just can’t handle any stress. I’ve been doing Kundalini yoga/meditation poses and kriyas that are supposedly specifically designed to strengthen the CNS throughout this whole process. Can’t say if it’s really helped in the short term, but I’m really hoping in the long run it’ll be beneficial.

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I think you are on to something GreenCup.  It is like we used Benzos to protect us from "knowing how to set anxiety aside".  Now that the benzos are gone, we need to learn to cope with anxiety, it probably takes as long as a child takes to learns such behavior.

 

I definitely think this is part of it, but I also feel like my CNS is so weak and compromised that it just can’t handle any stress. I’ve been doing Kundalini yoga/meditation poses and kriyas that are supposedly specifically designed to strengthen the CNS throughout this whole process. Can’t say if it’s really helped in the short term, but I’m really hoping in the long run it’ll be beneficial.

Kundalini Yoga helped me a lot, I only went to a free class though, felt no stress during that day.

Will try youtube videos

Blossom

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I think you are on to something GreenCup.  It is like we used Benzos to protect us from "knowing how to set anxiety aside".  Now that the benzos are gone, we need to learn to cope with anxiety, it probably takes as long as a child takes to learns such behavior.

 

I definitely think this is part of it, but I also feel like my CNS is so weak and compromised that it just can’t handle any stress. I’ve been doing Kundalini yoga/meditation poses and kriyas that are supposedly specifically designed to strengthen the CNS throughout this whole process. Can’t say if it’s really helped in the short term, but I’m really hoping in the long run it’ll be beneficial.

Kundalini Yoga helped me a lot, I only went to a free class though, felt no stress during that day.

Will try youtube videos

Blossom

 

Yes! Do it! I used to go to a class nearly every Sat morning, but now I just do YouTube vids most mornings.

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  • 4 weeks later...
At 22 months I having Bad anxiety today I read the post they all make sense I can’t believe a 22 months out but I’m suffering from anxiety so bad I don’t know if it’s from benzo withdrawal or a combination of things it comes and goes is this normal this far out
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I have had great relief from anxiety the last couple of days.

 

The only significant difference is I have been listening to a different type of youtube anxiety video.  It is at this link: 

[nobbc]

[/nobbc]

 

It seems to be re-wiring my brain - ok, that might be too strong - but something good is happening after repeated exposure to it.

 

I first listened to it in the afternoon.  I have since listened to it while failing asleep in my bed and each time I wake up at night.  I have a calm feeling about me today that is really lasting.  I like this change.

 

deactivate commercial link

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I have had great relief from anxiety the last couple of days.

 

The only significant difference is I have been listening to a different type of youtube anxiety video.  It is at this link: 

[nobbc]

[/nobbc]

 

It seems to be re-wiring my brain - ok, that might be too strong - but something good is happening after repeated exposure to it.

 

I first listened to it in the afternoon.  I have since listened to it while failing asleep in my bed and each time I wake up at night.  I have a calm feeling about me today that is really lasting.  I like this change.

 

deactivate commercial link

 

I am glad you are better Bob, I am better too!

God bless

 

Blossom

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I have had great relief from anxiety the last couple of days.

 

The only significant difference is I have been listening to a different type of youtube anxiety video.  It is at this link: 

[nobbc]

[/nobbc]

 

It seems to be re-wiring my brain - ok, that might be too strong - but something good is happening after repeated exposure to it.

 

I first listened to it in the afternoon.  I have since listened to it while failing asleep in my bed and each time I wake up at night.  I have a calm feeling about me today that is really lasting.  I like this change.

 

deactivate commercial link

 

I am glad you are better Bob, I am better too!

God bless

 

Blossom

I am smiling to read you are doing better.

This withdrawal is not linear, I have had many ups and downs.

Do you still take Chamomile regularly?  How do you use it?  Is it for helping to sleep?

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I have had great relief from anxiety the last couple of days.

 

The only significant difference is I have been listening to a different type of youtube anxiety video.  It is at this link: 

[nobbc]

[/nobbc]

 

It seems to be re-wiring my brain - ok, that might be too strong - but something good is happening after repeated exposure to it.

 

I first listened to it in the afternoon.  I have since listened to it while failing asleep in my bed and each time I wake up at night.  I have a calm feeling about me today that is really lasting.  I like this change.

 

deactivate commercial link

 

I am glad you are better Bob, I am better too!

God bless

 

Blossom

I am smiling to read you are doing better.

This withdrawal is not linear, I have had many ups and downs.

Do you still take Chamomile regularly?  How do you use it?  Is it for helping to sleep?

Totally agree with the non linear healing

Yes! It’s my favorite tea, and it does help with sleep. I also bought some tart cherry extract , it helps create melatonin (for what I researched) I take it sometimes before bed :)

My stomach issues are a lot better, everything got better from day 1 I started juicing with the carrot, celery and beet juice. I also drink celery juice by itself too.

 

P.s. that link on youtube is great!

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