Author Topic: Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.  (Read 421 times)

[Buddie]

Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.
« on: January 18, 2020, 08:59:25 pm »
Benzo withdraw from another perspective.

The lonely path.

    As I took my very first steps I only knew I had to try and navigate a sort of a pathway within my mind. I was totally blind to start with, I didnít know what way might be the right way, I didnít know how far my path was and I certainly didnít know what to expect along the way, who I might meet and what lay in store for me. I was scared but I needed to take the path to make my life better!
    So of I set in good heart and stead with my earphones on to stop the terrible noise I could hear, I didnít expect this although this was the first of many uncomfortable things I was to encounter and as the journey proceeded it became darker and cloudy, the sky seemed as though it was closing in on me, oh dear I thought, am I going to end up lost or hurt along the way?
    Then all of a sudden I fell into a big dark hole, down I fell further and further, I was screaming in terror, it felt so unreal spinning round and round, it seemed bottomless, I blanked out, I wasnít sure for how long. I woke feeling terribly anxious, sweating and terrified, "help me!" I screamed, then I felt someone grab my hands and pulled me out, oh my God you saved my life, who are you?
    "Challis99" she replied and this is my good friend Baylissa, we can help you out and give you some advice, this is a path paved with danger, lots of holes and even monsters, but nothing will hurt you, just your fear will make  things worse, there are many others along the pathway that can help you and some might not, so beware as we all have to find our own way.
    I thanked them for there help and wished them well and carried on with my journey, I really did fell a lot better, even the sun showed a brief appearance, the birds were singing and everything seemed ok. Iím glad I had brought some lunch with me as I felt like I had an appetite for the first time in quite a while. I found a log that I could sit upon and ate, although something wasnít right!
    It looked as though clouds were coming over, such a brief window of bliss and then all of a sudden everything seemed to close in on me, the brambles and thorns, were they growing thicker and thicker around my legs, yes they were and I was feeling the pain as they wrapped there twine around me causing sharp stinging pains all over, I was in despair, what the hell was happening?
    It soon became apparent that this really was a treacherous path to walk. I cut away at the vine and eventually managed to free myself, very oddly I couldnít find a scratch on me, was this pain all in my head? It hurt so much but no injuries, then I remembered that Challis99 had said "nothing will hurt you!" Still I had to be ever so cautious but was now aware to expect the unexpected.
    And so the path carried on and over the months I came across many holes, thorns, monsters and every scary thing you could ever imagine. I felt exhausted but knew I needed to get to the end of this path and I was told that there the journey would end and that a new life would begin for me, I thought maybe I could have someone walk with me, it could make it easier.
    The clouds parted once again and the sun shone bright, this was wonderful, I should of brought my unicycle, I thought. Then there just behind me I could see this lady waving, she was catching me up, we started to walk together in the sunshine, we chatted and shared our thoughts and really enjoyed each otherís company. This was surely easier to walk with my new friend, [...].
    As the weeks went by we talked and walked the path together and then completely out of the blue I hit a brick wall, hard! I slumped to the depths of my mental torment and whilst I suffered in pain I once again remember what Challis99 had said, apart from nothing would hurt me, (Iím hurting!) "We all have to find our own way." I then realised that everyoneís journey was unique and that they had to do it on there own.
    Eventually I dusted myself off and got my act back together. By now my new friend had carried on her own way, I donít blame her, she needs to walk her path and I need to walk mine and in our own time and fashion. Although it would be nice to met up again once we get to the end of our journey, be it months or years. We will get better and our outlook in life will change with time.
    They say time is a healer, every body heals on this path and like many of you, we are still healing. I am becoming stronger in body and mind. Today my path is clear, the brambles have withered, the sun is shining, there are new bulbs ready to flower and the smell of spring is in the air. The birds are busy making there nests and the trees are coming to leaf, life is really coming together but I can see the path ahead has some twists and turns in it yet, but I take comfort in the knowing that many have taken this path, itís a lonely path that we walk alone.

To be continued...

[...] will win because Iím a Superhero!

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=235341.0
« Last Edit: January 18, 2020, 10:00:12 pm by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2020, 10:38:33 pm »
 :clap: :clap: :clap:

Love your stories. 

Beautifully written and so much wisdom. 

thank you again.   :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2020, 09:14:28 am »
Sky...

Well thank you ever so much for your appreciation. If I can bring a smile to just one person then itís worth it.
I wish you well in your recovery...God be with you.

Banana.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2020, 09:37:33 pm »
 :smitten:😭🙏💪✌️💜((Bananaman))
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2020, 09:43:19 pm »
    Bnot

Itís been posted over a week
I thought you didnít care  :'(

I have a blog too... http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=236184.0
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2020, 09:59:28 pm »
 :smitten:😭😭I guess I couldn't see out of the darkness yet.  I won't lose site of you again!  ((Bananaman))
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2020, 07:31:34 am »
Hey [...],

That's a mighty nice post. It's a good thing to put down in words the suffering you're going through as it helps to exorcise it.

How long were you on amitriptyline for? (Amitriptyline is my next battle)

SG
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2020, 08:12:12 am »
Good morning SG...
    Thank you for your appreciation of my story. Iím just trying to put my journey over in a different sort of context, hopefully with a little bit of humour. I feel there is already enough negative stuff on here.

    Amitriptyline...what a horrible drug this one was. I was on 120mg per day for 6 years. I started them before diazepam, but choose to come of them first as thatís what I felt was my biggest problem. I tapered 10mg every 2weeks for 6 weeks then held it for a month as I was struggling. Then I did the same again with the remaining 60mg and up dosed my diazepam to 10mg at the end as I was suffering. Then I jumped back down to 5mg diazepam and stayed on this for another year. Then I jumped off of the diazepam 8 months ago and today I feel quite well.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2020, 10:20:32 pm »
 :smitten:

Thank you [...] for sharing your various stories along your journey.
They are uplifting  and good for the soul no matter where we're all at in our w/d and or recovery!

We were all given this life for a reason.  We have the power within us to determine our destiny and happiness.   It's a rough road at times with so many lessons to be learned! And boy have I learned this past few years!!
The most difficult years of my life for sure.

My using Benzos all those years was my doing and I take full responsibility.   I used to be upset w/ my shrink for continuously prescribing,  but I wanted them because K gave me that cozy warm feeling and allowed me to sleep like a baby.

Now I'm paying the price for choosing to take benzodiazepines in the 1st place.   Everything has a price!!

I have faith and believe I will get better.   Will I fully heal,   I don't know this yet,  but I will never give up.

Wolfie ❤👼❤
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo withdraw from another perspective. The lonely path.
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2020, 10:22:46 pm »
🍄💜✌️💪🙏
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.