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9 year descent, 1 year free


[Dd...]

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Thank you benzobuddies for the support, knowledge, guidance & tools to get me back in the chair on my way, back to freedom from my descent into pure madness.

 

Some things I did:

 

*Cast my support network wide. There was a rambunctious group of ladies on here that stretched world wide. We checked in every day.

*Tried supplements, Valerian root not recommended in my experience. L-theanine & Fish oil for memory worked. Pharmagaba attached my my angry gaba receptors while tapering & reduced the risk of me going back to benzos. CBD oil does help too.

*Started working out 3-4 days a week.

*Opened up to those around me.

*Worked on my self care.

*Changed my medical team to get away from benzo-bullying doctors.

*Saw an Ear Nose and Throat specialist & an Audeologist to get my tinnitus checked out. On good days, I hear cicadas. On loud & chaotic days, different bell tones still go off in my head. I am learning to accept it.

*I read everything I could about benzo withdrawal disorder & recovery.

*When I was ready, I walked off...

 

My cognitive status has changed immensely. My short term memory has gotten better. Intrusive thoughts come less often. My marriage is better. I have no more tremors in my voice or neck (most times). I can feel my feelings. I feel better about myself. I am more stable overall.

 

The list of benefits after walking goes on and on... I just wanted to come on here and say thanks. When I walked in to the ocean this past summer, dashed by seaweed, I felt free. Like I can live again. I couldn't have walked off without you BB and for that, I am eternally grateful. :smitten:

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Hello Ddyw9, thanks so much for coming back to let us know how you're doing, you sound wonderful!  And thank you for giving us a list of things you did to improve your situation while tapering, it will help others.

 

 

Pamster

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Thanks for sharing your story. Congratulations on your year of freedom! I jumped four months ago and feel myself healing but know I have a ways to go. Your story gives hope! Take care. I hope in the ocean and feel the freedom you have felt
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Congratulations!

 

Did your  tinnitus ever change get worse or better. I am 10 months post jump and there are days the ringing is awful. I too visited the ENT who said there is no cure for the ringing...he was not aware of the benzo side affect causing the ringing....

 

Again, congrats. Your story if very similar to my recovery. I never thought I would be healed like I am. Time is the healer along with faith!

 

J

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You are correct about the tinnitus.  It is just there, and the least of our worries.  I even went to an ENT and an audiologist and got hearing aids.  The tests showed a moderate hearing loss so my insurance covered them.  Well. they made sounds more clear, and I think that helped to distract me from the tinnitus, but in no way was this a cure.  It is definitely just another benzo nerve damage thing we have to learn to accept.  It may go away in time, but the rebound anxiety and the lack of energy are far bigger concerns for me.  I am 18 months off after use from 2001 on, and am having a struggle.  I know I am healing, as my memory and cognitive functioning has improved.  Hang in there, good luck.
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Hey Dd!  So glad to see your success story and congrats on one year!  I just celebrated one year January 21st and what a great feeling to have all this in the rear view mirror.  Good luck to you my friend and thanks for being one of my fellow travelers.  We had ourselves some good laughs to get ourselves through the worst of the nightmare  :)
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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello Ddyw9, thanks so much for coming back to let us know how you're doing, you sound wonderful!  And thank you for giving us a list of things you did to improve your situation while tapering, it will help others.

 

 

Pamster

 

Thanks Pam, the resources on here are a Godsend.

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Congratulations!

 

Did your  tinnitus ever change get worse or better. I am 10 months post jump and there are days the ringing is awful. I too visited the ENT who said there is no cure for the ringing...he was not aware of the benzo side affect causing the ringing....

 

Again, congrats. Your story if very similar to my recovery. I never thought I would be healed like I am. Time is the healer along with faith!

 

J

 

Hi, J; when I get enough rest the ringing is softer & less noticeable. But when I am stressed and overstimulated my ringing is different tones. I wear ear plugs to the gym and any time I am going to be around loud music. Audiologist diagnosed me with high frequency hearing loss, which is most likely not due to the benzos. So I just save whats left of my hearing I guess. At any rate, Klonapin is an evil drug. Keep the faith.

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Hey Dd!  So glad to see your success story and congrats on one year!  I just celebrated one year January 21st and what a great feeling to have all this in the rear view mirror.  Good luck to you my friend and thanks for being one of my fellow travelers.  We had ourselves some good laughs to get ourselves through the worst of the nightmare  :)

 

Welchie! How are you babe? Thanks and congrats too! Yeah we were bad! Got ourselves kicked right off the discussion boards :laugh: I still want my leotard. Miss U!

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I'm holding onto that pair of leotards for you sweetie!!!  We'll rock em' dead some day!

 

Miss U too!

 

I'm doing ok, thanks for asking.  A few lingering sx but nothing too awful.  A million times better than this time last year, for sure.

 

Notice how I'm behaving myself....so they don't shut down you're success story!!!  It's killing me!

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