Getting better after 15 years xanax use

I have been reading this forum for a while now and I decided to join it today. I was on xanax for 15 years, I read the ashton manual and did a 9 month taper. I have been off benzos for 14 months. I was in absolute hell for the first 6 months and then things really started to get better around 10 months. At 11 months off I was able to go back to work, now at 14 months off I actually believe that I will get back to normal again, as little as 2 moths ago I never thought that was possible. I hope this helps some people.

it really does help when your clinging to any piece of hope. well done on your recovery

WOW you are really doing great!  Congrats on being Benzo Free!!  Happy to hear you are doing better.  Ask questions and jump in anywhere you can.

Im happy that the non stop crazy thoughts and the constant feeling like Im about to go crazy feeling has left just recently.

I m so glad things are disappearing for you, sounds like you are well on your way to being healed.  Such a blessing!  Also really gives me hope that things will get better.  Thank you so much for sharing!  Great thread!

Thanks !! Things are really improving quick at 14 months off, like I said I never thought it would happen.

Sounds like you have had alot of sx fade.  So tell me what has faded as far as sx go?

 

B

Sounds like you have had alot of sx fade.  So tell me what has faded as far as sx go?

 

B

 

Insomnia

Dp/DR

Severe anxiety

Severe depression

Insane thoughts

Always feeling like I was going to go insane or crazy

Fear of everything, feeling like I had to run away from myself there were a bunch more too, they have all went away.

 

I just have a little of that going crazy feeling from time to time and some minor chemical anxiety that pops up.

 

 

Wow just gives me hope, can you say what faded when or is it a blur?  I can't tell yet what has faded.  Has it all just disappeared all at once for you?  This is so not linear.  So happy for you. 

It has just slowly faded over time.

I just hope I dont have lingering issues forever, I feel 95 % better and I hope it continues.

Don't let the FEAR creep in!  Run with what you have...so happy for you.

 

B

Did you have your feelings go away for

Awhile and have them come back. I can’t distract all I think and can talk about is this benzo hell for 5 months.  I want my life back I cry everyday.  Did you go through the windows and waves

Yes all I thought about was benzo withdrawal nonstop for months and months , it gradually faded to where I don’t think about it every second but I still do from time to time . It gets way better for sure it just took a while, I didn’t so much have windows and waves

It's crazy some do some don't.  Makes no sense at all! 

thanks for sharing your story. I'm worried about these windows and waves . strangely for me it's been quite linear .

it peaked at day 7 then started reducing . hard not knowing where the finish line is

This has been totally crazy . Weird is a better word , I felt weird for so long and all the mental stuff was indescribably bad . Like nothing anyone who hasn’t gone through could ever experience. The good news is it does get way better and I’m convinced it will all be gone this year .

You are proof that we heal in time!

You are proof that we heal in time!

 

Time is the key , it just takes way longer than it should . All I did was try to be as positive as I could and just get to the next day hoping it would be better than the last , we have no choice but to move forward, even if the next day is worse just know that better ones are coming , even though it feels like there is no way it will .

I have been reading this forum for a while now and I decided to join it today. I was on xanax for 15 years, I read the ashton manual and did a 9 month taper. I have been off benzos for 14 months. I was in absolute hell for the first 6 months and then things really started to get better around 10 months. At 11 months off I was able to go back to work, now at 14 months off I actually believe that I will get back to normal again, as little as 2 moths ago I never thought that was possible. I hope this helps some people.

 

Thanks ben. Good for you, keep healing!!!! 👍🏽

Did you have your feelings go away for

Awhile and have them come back. I can’t distract all I think and can talk about is this benzo hell for 5 months.  I want my life back I cry everyday.  Did you go through the windows and waves

 

I cried all the time also , I think it helped. It is hard to distract but over time it gets easier.