Jump to content

I have had enough, should I just go back on?


[th...]

Recommended Posts

Hi all

 

Today is 4 mo no klon after 5 years daily use at around .25

Symptoms are getting worse, I tried lexapro 2.5 for 4 days, I stopped it 6 days ago, feel worse,

awful head pressure vibrating, fear and anxiety worse then ever, dizzy, lightheaded,  I feel so out of body and crawling out of my boots, having a hard time functioning, driving

 

Hard to find any comfort, anywhere

 

Should I just reinstate at .25 and get stable and then try again at some point later to taper even slower then I did (2 mo taper)

 

I am having a hard time and not sure what to do, I cant keep going on like this

 

Thank you

Thedaydreamer

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Both of your posts make me incredibly sad, I'm so sorry you're suffering.  I wish I could tell you that reinstating would fix everything for you, but I can't.  I've seen too many members regret what you're both contemplating. 

 

We had a member return last year who first joined in 2008, at that time the dose was 5 mgs of Valium and this member was in distress with the usual symptoms of benzo tolerance.  When this member returned, the dose was 12.5 and the story was the same.  So eleven additional years of living in hell had passed and still no end in sight.

 

There may be those who live happily ever after, we tend not to see them here since they have no reason to come back, but can you really see yourself living happily ever after on this drug? 

 

I know you said if you go back on and do a slower taper you might be in a better spot, but have you looked into the theory of Kindling?  Our brains don't like stops and starts of this drug, I've seen many members who had no trouble getting off of the drug multiple times in the past only to find out their grace period is over when this is no longer the case.

 

I hope you both can find a way to push though your pain, I know it's horrific and hopeless for you right now, but I can only tell you from my personal experience that the end result is worth waiting for.

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah you’re right about the kindling. I’ll hold out as long as I can. I just hope even one of my symptoms eases up in the next few months. Thank you.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pamster

 

Thank you for you response, is that just the key for now, just kinda push and suffer through?  Given my dose was only around .25 for that time maybe thats all my body needs,,,,,but I do agree, there has to be a better life on the other side, especially since I lived most of my life without all this pain, I chose to come off because I thought maybe they were inducing some symptoms

 

My life is really suffering, I am losing out on so much, there really has to be hope

 

Pamster, could you comment on this horrible face, head and jaw pressure, Its unreal

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I quit cold turkey, so I had no choice but to push and suffer through and it paid off, but I don't know if that's what you should do.

 

We each have to make the choice of what we're willing to live with, but reinstatement is the unknown, it could involve weeks of trying to find a stable dose, don't expect it to be .25, it may need to be higher, or you might be able to get away with lower.  Then comes the taper, you've seen the suffering, you've experienced it, will it be better this time?  I don't know.  Then comes the jump off, will it hurt as much next time?  I don't know.

 

What I do feel, at least from what I've seen for the most part is that if you push through now, the time you're looking at is considerably less than what you'd be facing if you reinstated. 

 

As for your muscle symptoms, I can only point to the Ashton manual, reading the symptoms in chapter 3 gave me comfort.

 

Muscle symptoms. Benzodiazepines are efficient muscle relaxants and are used clinically for spastic conditions ranging from spinal cord disease or injury to the excruciating muscle spasms of tetanus or rabies. It is therefore not surprising that their discontinuation after long-term use is associated with a rebound increase in muscle tension. This rebound accounts for many of the symptoms observed in benzodiazepine withdrawal. Muscle stiffness affecting the limbs, back, neck and jaw are commonly reported, and the constant muscle tension probably accounts for the muscle pains which have a similar distribution. Headaches are usually of the "tension headache" type, due to contraction of muscles at the back of the neck, scalp and forehead - often described as a "tight band around the head". Pain in the jaw and teeth is probably due to involuntary jaw clenching, which often occurs unconsciously during sleep.

 

At the same time, the nerves to the muscles are hyperexcitable, leading to tremor, tics, jerks, spasm and twitching, and jumping at the smallest stimulus. All this constant activity contributes to a feeling of fatigue and weakness ("jelly-legs"). In addition, the muscles, especially the small muscles of the eye, are not well co-ordinated, which may lead to blurred or double vision or even eyelid spasms (blepharospasm).

 

None of these symptoms is harmful, and they need not be a cause of worry once they are understood. The muscle pain and stiffness is actually little different from what is regarded as normal after an unaccustomed bout of exercise, and would be positively expected, even by a well-trained athlete, after running a marathon.

 

There are many measures that will alleviate these symptoms, such as muscle stretching exercises as taught in most gyms, moderate exercise, hot baths, massage and general relaxation exercises. Such measures may give only temporary relief at first, but if practised regularly can speed the recovery of normal muscle tone - which will eventually occur spontaneously.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pamster

 

I read your story, and many others, it really seems like this can be done

 

Thank you for you support,,,,,

 

Do you ever talk to people on the phone?

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Others have blazed the trail for you thedaydreamer, you can do this too.

 

I've never spoken with anyone from BenzoBuddies on the phone, I place great importance on our policy of anonymity.  :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...