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smoked mj - not a good idea - digging deep


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so i don't know why today I felt healed enough to smoke. i haven't touched weed ever since my c/t aug. 28. i tried smoking during interdose w/d thinking it would calm me down as usual but wasn't good then and isn't good now. it made me hyper aware of all my anxieties. today was no different. just creepy thoughts of permanent damage. made me hyper aware of my tinnitus too. salutations to all the tinnitus sufferers.. it really feels like the short end of the stick.. but then again you could say same for any other benzo wd symptoms..

 

i started focusing on the tinnitus and thus made more room for it to grow in my consciousness. at 5 months, i lost a lot of it and habituated to it a lot but now habituation felt lost. i still would like to see more discussion about the nature of tinnitus. i presume everyone's is different and there's no way we can let someone hear it.. but we can try to describe it. i thought about where have i heard this type of sound before in this life? the only thing that comes is the sound of electricity running through a fluorescent lamp but amplified and reverberated. it's so foreign but in our head. could it be the sound of something else happening? like the sound of machinery or an engine when it is working? the hole can go deeper.. is it the sound of your existence? perhaps the sound of your own brain which could in turn be an electrical machine?

 

seems to take forever to go.. but it is better than it was 1 month ago and even better than 2 months ago. the rate of recovery is incredibly slow. but i want it gone now and it feels like it's taking forever and feels like it's the only thing that keeps me anxious. I'm getting better, that's for sure though. what luck, what luck us benzo warriors have. i was reading here recently about a buddie that has racing scattered thoughts constantly. what gives? one thing's for sure is that all the symptoms achieve one and the same thing in the end - keep the brain and nervous system alert and in discomfort, for far too extended amounts of time... was this suffering put together by someone? is it chance? is it an ancient curse with many disguises? looking forward to excellent thoughts because the human demands reason for something happening 

 

as i feel i have expressed enough, i feel a sense of small relief in my solar plexus - the home of anxiety. which brings me to ask: has anyone tried chakra balancing? i feel like it could be a chakra issue in that area... being the skeptic that i am...

 

i'm gonna go and wait the rest of my anxiety out. hopefully it's not here for too long.

 

thank you friends

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What strain did you smoke?

A lot of Sativas make me anxious too.

A strong indica, helped calmed down my anxious brain.

Different strains do so many different things.

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thanks livestrong

 

i don't know what strain it was. i dont think it mattered much. it's one of those cases where one thought leads to another

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Throughout WD I'll occasionally try smoking to see if it helps, but it usually triggers my obsessive thoughts and causes muscle spasms. I actually have a lot more success with edibles that are a combination of THC and CBD. I don't have them all the time, but they work great for me when the insomnia is really bad.
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